Goodbye (SN)

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm finally ready. I took the meds and now I'm dissolving the SN in a couple glasses. I've gotten close a few times but not this close.

I've been struggling with wanting to die for 6 years now and it's only gotten worse with time. I don't want to see what kind of hell 2024 might bring. Last year had some good moments in it, but not enough to make up for the bad moments.

I don't want to be alive anymore so I'm ready. The SN is mostly dissolved now so I'm hoping I have time for a smoke first.

I'm not going to say goodbye right this second but in the next few minutes.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

Hope it's the best smoke ever, almost like the one you smoked when you first started enjoying smoking. Not one that just feels like it's another chore you gotta do to get on with the day.

 

[rozeske]

Wishing you a smooth ride. Hoping you find your peace

 

[Tears in Rain]

You seem ready, good luck catching the last ride.

 

[sorlox]

Good luck, bro. See ya on the other side

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm ready now so hopefully I get the result I want. I tested it and it's good to go. Once I close the browser, my history will automatically get deleted and I'll be logged out.

 

[donsie]

enjoy the ride!

 

[AmyAstral0]

I'm finally ready. I took the meds and now I'm dissolving the SN in a couple glasses. I've gotten close a few times but not this close.

I've been struggling with wanting to die for 6 years now and it's only gotten worse with time. I don't want to see what kind of hell 2024 might bring. Last year had some good moments in it, but not enough to make up for the bad moments.

I don't want to be alive anymore so I'm ready. The SN is mostly dissolved now so I'm hoping I have time for a smoke first.

I'm not going to say goodbye right this second but in the next few minutes.

Good luck, hope you enjoy(ed) the smoke o7

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I had a good smoke so I'm ready. I even got a trash bag to throw up in just in case
Hopefully I didn't take too long. The SN is dissolved but I got sidetracked.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

Hope all goes well, good luck. May you find peace :)

 

[Princess_Kitty]

Wishing you good luck and hope you get the peace you deserve.

 

[absolutelyyou]

May you find and know peace, friend.

 

[BarnabasCollins]

Wishing you the best. Safe travels and I hope you find peace.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

 

[voidstar]

I hope you finally find the peace you're looking for. Safe travels!

 

[waRmblanket]

i love you Lost. you mean a lot to me, you've been there for me since day one. thank you again for being there for me those two nights. thank you for everything. i have much appreciation and respect for you.

light a port

thank you for being there
-Blanket

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm having a hard time getting myself to drink it now. I know if I don't I have to get more. I tried getting motivated with music and having a smoke but still it takes a lot just to drink the shit.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for, best wishes.

 

[absolutelyyou]

We're here for you no matter what. If you find it's not quite your time this moment that's ok

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Maybe it's not the right method I don't know but I can't do it. I got so fucking close.
Maybe I'll go out for another cigarette
The cigarette helped calm me down a bit but I still can't do it. I want out so bad but it's hard to do it.

I'm not ready yet. I don't know what I have to do to be ready but I hate this.

I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for, best wishes.

I was hoping for it but I didn't find it today unfortunately

 

[Thanksforeverything]

The cigarette helped calm me down a bit but I still can't do it.

I've been there. Just watching that tip burn all the way to the end, thinking this is it. Maybe if I just finish my last pack and have none left. But it's never enough. I don't know if you dissolved all your SN, but having some left should give you some peace of mind.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I've been there. Just watching that tip burn all the way to the end, thinking this is it. Maybe if I just finish my last pack and have none left. But it's never enough. I don't know if you dissolved all your SN, but having some left should give you some peace of mind.

I might have enough for 1 glass but that's it. Other than that it's old SN that is too old to really trust in. I had 2 packages of 50 grams but spilled the first one on my digital scale when I tested it so about half is left. The other package is gone.

I dumped it out but struggled just to do that. I'm starving now so I have to eat.

 

[Old Friend]

It's okay mate. Maybe it's not meant to be.

 

[Circles]

For what it's worth this place respects your decision whatever happens. May you finally be free from all the pointless suffering you've endured and find your peace.

Edit: I just saw you posted you couldn't go through with it. It's entirely okay if you weren't ready. I hope you can find some time to rest after such an ordeal. I know there's probably not much one can say to help but again whatever you do we are here however cliche that may sound.

 

[PrisonPlanetBreak]

I had 2 packages of 50 grams but spilled the first one on my digital scale when I tested it so about half is left​

When I tested mine a couple of weeks ago, I had my plan laid out to keep the bottle open for as little time possible. But when I got to the actual testing, it's like my brain stopped working, my hands started shaking, even though I had planned to CTB on New Year's Eve only. I was feeling like a cook on Gordon Ramsay's show, getting flustered, not knowing what to do next. I didn't mess up in the end, and I successfully tested it, but what I want to say is that how you felt today is really normal. I can't imagine how I would have felt if I had gotten to the actual exit day... For now, I have postponed it too​

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I still wish I would've drank it.
Thanks for the replies I need to sleep again. I so badly wish I would've drank it

 

[theendisnigh5]

wish you the best lost in a dream

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you failed and SI was in the way. Don't be too hard to yourself, when the time is right you will have the strength, you need!

 

[CloudyNightSky]

Im sorry to hear, that you feel so bad about the failed attempt. But yk you don't have to rush it, so for now its good to rest a bit and maybe let some time pass. Goodnight and sleep well

 

[Neverfeltdeader]

Good luck on your journey out of this hellhole.