goodbye post

[unbelievablydead]

I don't really know what to say, just that I will be gone soon and will hopefully have a safe and smooth journey

I know most here don't believe in an afterlife, but I do. I hope to be met with peace, love, and joy on the other side and allowed some time to heal before reincarnating to a different life here on Earth. Before I leave this life, I just wanted to share some things I have learned on this particular journey…

Be kind, always, but also don't take shit from anyone

Your anger is not the problem, it's the people-pleasing tendencies

Always go with your gut, but try to not act out of fear or pure impulsivity

In general, think about your choices and how they align with ALL your values

Honesty is just as important as all the other virtues, if not more

As well as empathy, like truly being able to put yourself in another person's position and thinking "how would they feel/how would this affect them?"

Peace comes from doing the right thing and being able to go to sleep with a clear conscience

Good friends who are actually there for you, who care, and want to support you make all the difference in the world

If you have that, know that it's the biggest blessing and try to hold on to those people if you can

Relationships are hard, but communicating about the things that bother you will fix most things, I think (again, honesty is key)

Along those same lines, put your ego down and let the defensiveness go when you can, we are all equal and we all have something to learn from each other

Therapists can be good, but they can also ruin your life, so beware (I'd stay away from the white ones, just my experience)

Free Palestine and all other oppressed nations and people

BLM

ACAB

Your body, your choice

Trans rights are human rights

Be gay and do crime

Hate spreads, but fortunately, love does too

 

[starryend]

I hope that you find peace, good luck on your journey.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I hope it goes well and you find your peace. Goodbye

 

[ScholarOfDespair]

I hope you find peace. Farewell, beautiful soul.

 

[darksouls]

I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[fadedghost]

I don't really know what to say, just that I will be gone soon and will hopefully have a safe and smooth journey

I know most here don't believe in an afterlife, but I do. I hope to be met with peace, love, and joy on the other side and allowed some time to heal before reincarnating to a different life here on Earth. Before I leave this life, I just wanted to share some things I have learned on this particular journey…

Be kind, always, but also don't take shit from anyone

Your anger is not the problem, it's the people-pleasing tendencies

Always go with your gut, but try to not act out of fear or pure impulsivity

In general, think about your choices and how they align with ALL your values

Honesty is just as important as all the other virtues, if not more

As well as empathy, like truly being able to put yourself in another person's position and thinking "how would they feel/how would this affect them?"

Peace comes from doing the right thing and being able to go to sleep with a clear conscience

Good friends who are actually there for you, who care, and want to support you make all the difference in the world

If you have that, know that it's the biggest blessing and try to hold on to those people if you can

Relationships are hard but communicating about the things that bother you will fix most things I think (again, honesty is key)

Along those same lines, put your ego down and let the defensiveness go when you can, we are all equal and we all have something to learn from each other

Therapists can be good, but they can also ruin your life, so beware (I'd stay away from the white ones, just my experience)

Free Palestine and all other oppressed nations and people

BLM

ACAB

Your body, your choice

Trans rights are human rights

Be gay and do crime

Hate spreads, but fortunately, love does too

did you ever tell them about the cheating?

are you still ending you life over the bad thing you did? i can't fathom it could be so bad. did you kill or rape someone?

 

[unbelievablydead]

did you ever tell them about the cheating?

it's funny that you remembered me haha. i have a pre-drafted email that will be sent out when i'm gone. i hope it's taken in an ok-ish way.

and no, i did neither of those things. it's less about the guilt and shame and more about the trauma i've been left with. i have severe anhedonia, and i think being alive means being able to experience joy and peace. i have neither, so i just don't want to be alive anymore, but it's ok.

 

[SpanishLullaby]

I dont know what to say to you but I loved your parting words! It sounds like you've attained a place of true peace, & acceptance

I just hope you can find peace in and throughout your transition.

 

[unbelievablydead]

I dont know what to say to you but I loved your parting words! It sounds like you've attained a place of true peace, & acceptance

I just hope you can find peace in and throughout your transition.

that's very kind, thank you

wishing you the same in any and every path you choose

 

[unluckysadness]

I'm sorry that life brought you at this point. i believe in reincarnation too. I fear my next incarnation. I don't want to reincarnate at all but I believe in this idea so I wish you a better incarnation too (maybe on another planet as an alien ? who knows).
I hope angels will take care of your soul in the afterlife If you can help us in the other dimension, don't hesitate.
I wish you a good trip and thanks for sharing your thoughts about life

 

[unbelievablydead]

I'm sorry that life brought you at this point. i believe in reincarnation too. I fear my next incarnation. I don't want to reincarnate at all but I believe in this idea so I wish you a better incarnation too (maybe on another planet as an alien ? who knows).
I hope angels will take care of your soul in the afterlife If you can help us in the other dimension, don't hesitate.
I wish you a good trip and thanks for sharing your thoughts about life

thank you my dear my belief is that if this life was too difficult to sustain, then we should be given a simpler one next go around. i hope to receive that healing and care as well. i'll be watching over everyone and help as much as i can from the other side. love and peace to you on this journey and all the ones to come

 

[fadedghost]

it's funny that you remembered me haha. i have a pre-drafted email that will be sent out when i'm gone. i hope it's taken in an ok-ish way.

and no, i did neither of those things. it's less about the guilt and shame and more about the trauma i've been left with. i have severe anhedonia, and i think being alive means being able to experience joy and peace. i have neither, so i just don't want to be alive anymore, but it's ok.

i'm sorry you've been dealing with anhedonia.

i hope you've at least tried the standard things (paying money to expensive doctors and taking big pharma pills) and also tried the non-standard things (mushrooms, ketamine, taking ecstasy at a rave with great djs) before ending it all... I feel like for many people who are rule-followers, the non-standard things (taking ecstacy in some dark warehouse and listening to techno with a large crowd) are harder because professionals never recommend it.

then again, you wrote "be gay and do crime," so it's possible you aren't always a rule-follower?

i hope something changes between now and when you're expecting to end things, but if it doesn't, i promise to be gay and do crime for you... although it's possible those things would have happened anyway...

 

[unbelievablydead]

i'm sorry you've been dealing with anhedonia.

i hope you've at least tried the standard things (paying money to expensive doctors and taking big pharma pills) and also tried the non-standard things (mushrooms, ketamine, taking ecstasy at a rave with great djs) before ending it all... I feel like for many people who are rule-followers, the non-standard things (taking ecstacy in some dark warehouse and listening to techno with a large crowd) are harder because professionals never recommend it.

then again, you wrote "be gay and do crime," so it's possible you aren't always a rule-follower?

i hope something changes between now and when you're expecting to end things, but if it doesn't, i promise to be gay and do crime for you... although it's possible those things would have happened anyway...

i've tried some of the standard things, but none of it has really worked for me. while i'm def not a rule-follower (re: be gay and do crime), the things you mention can't change my past/reality- i always wake up where i was before and i almost feel worse. i do believe this world has a lot of things to experience and gain joy from, but i'm too broken to be affected in a substantial way. i hate it, but it's where i'm at.

but yes, please be gay and do crime for me! whether you were already planning to or not, maybe you'll feel at least a tiny bit more encouraged to do so

 

[39hatsune]

I don't really know what to say, just that I will be gone soon and will hopefully have a safe and smooth journey

I know most here don't believe in an afterlife, but I do. I hope to be met with peace, love, and joy on the other side and allowed some time to heal before reincarnating to a different life here on Earth. Before I leave this life, I just wanted to share some things I have learned on this particular journey…

Be kind, always, but also don't take shit from anyone

Your anger is not the problem, it's the people-pleasing tendencies

Always go with your gut, but try to not act out of fear or pure impulsivity

In general, think about your choices and how they align with ALL your values

Honesty is just as important as all the other virtues, if not more

As well as empathy, like truly being able to put yourself in another person's position and thinking "how would they feel/how would this affect them?"

Peace comes from doing the right thing and being able to go to sleep with a clear conscience

Good friends who are actually there for you, who care, and want to support you make all the difference in the world

If you have that, know that it's the biggest blessing and try to hold on to those people if you can

Relationships are hard, but communicating about the things that bother you will fix most things, I think (again, honesty is key)

Along those same lines, put your ego down and let the defensiveness go when you can, we are all equal and we all have something to learn from each other

Therapists can be good, but they can also ruin your life, so beware (I'd stay away from the white ones, just my experience)

Free Palestine and all other oppressed nations and people

BLM

ACAB

Your body, your choice

Trans rights are human rights

Be gay and do crime

Hate spreads, but fortunately, love does too

im sorry that life has been so cruel to you that you feel you must resort to this, i hope you will find peace whether that be going through with your decision or finding it here

 

[fadedghost]

i've tried some of the standard things, but none of it has really worked for me. while i'm def not a rule-follower (re: be gay and do crime), the things you mention can't change my past/reality- i always wake up where i was before and i almost feel worse. i do believe this world has a lot of things to experience and gain joy from, but i'm too broken to be affected in a substantial way. i hate it, but it's where i'm at.

but yes, please be gay and do crime for me! whether you were already planning to or not, maybe you'll feel at least a tiny bit more encouraged to do so

that's not necessarily true. if you haven't done ecstasy in a warehouse while listening to techno, you don't know how it will affect your anhedonia. you don't even need to go with anyone or have ecstasy, just find a rave playing techno and find a dealer and buy it there and take it. in a worst case situation, since you don't know the dealer, you overdose... ecstasy may actually change your past and reality; you can't know unless you drop in a dark warehouse or club.

i'll be honest: i was already planning on being gay and doing crime. it's just who i am. but i'll try to s*ck a few more d**ks and try to do a few more crimes for you.

 

[whywere]

love, hugs and universal peace to you always.

Always here if needed.

Walter

 

[unbelievablydead]

that's not necessarily true. if you haven't done ecstasy in a warehouse while listening to techno, you don't know how it will affect your anhedonia. you don't even need to go with anyone or have ecstasy, just find a rave playing techno and find a dealer and buy it there and take it. in a worst case situation, since you don't know the dealer, you overdose... ecstasy may actually change your past and reality; you can't know unless you drop in a dark warehouse or club.

i'll be honest: i was already planning on being gay and doing crime. it's just who i am. but i'll try to suck a few more dicks and try to do a few more crimes for you.

can i ask how it does that? like what exactly do you mean by it having the ability to change my past and reality?

and i support that agenda lmao

 

[Gangrel]

we're with you mate, so long, hope everything happens within your desire

 

[RunDown]

Great words of wisdom. I'm sure such knowledge was brutally earned. I wish you the best.

 

[fadedghost]

can i ask how it does that? like what exactly do you mean by it having the ability to change my past and reality?

and i support that agenda lmao

your neural pathways were created over time, probably in a traumatic way. your brain has a particular structure and connections.

ecstacy will flood your brain with serotonin. it basically unlocks the entire serotonin reserve in certain cells. with that area open, from what i remember, somehow it results in bleach being created and kills some of the cells. your brain is great at regrowing short cells, your brain is bad at regrowing longer cells that connect different areas of your brain. at the same time, the large amount of drugs flowing through your brain and the techno music will sort of result in sensory overload and connect regions of your brain in unexpected ways.

i don't recommend doing this a lot. people learn about the world, and trauma makes people learn that people are jerks, but the problem is too much learning through trauma can make people essentially non-functional. they may have a very accurate representation of human cruelty, but it prevents anything from happening. if you do too much ecstacy, you'll be too trusting and get brain damage, but right now, your level of knowledge stored in your brain structures and how your brain has adapted are not helping you. it will possibly kill you. ecstacy is a way to shake things up, similar to how ECT can change the brain but without as much horrible memory loss degradation and expenses. (ECT may also not connect areas of the brain and overwhelm the brain with fun, causing learning that people and things can be fun. I doubt there are any benefits to ECT and suspect that most of the benefits are caused through brain damage, like a lobotomy.) I would also not recommend doing ecstacy in an office with some parasitic psychiaitrist charging some huge amount. The techno, the lights, the bass, the people is a part of it.

Psychiatrists are such assholes. They noticed that when people hung out at parties and did MDMA or ketamine or mushrooms their depression was lifted, so they were like "What if we took the molocules involved, made prescriptions, and then had people take them in a bland boring office while analyzing and talking about life... and then charged 1000X more? wouldn't that be great?" Fucking evil fucks, wrecking something beautiful and making it bland and vapid.

So if you do actually do this, the day after, you will feel like utter shit. All your seratonin is gone. Day 1 after is hell, you sleep all day, possibly cry, everything hurts... Day 2, you're an idiot... Day 3 things are awful, maybe even worse... Day 4 is a little more normal. Day 5 you're like back to 75%, you're almost good. Day 6 you're at 90% of what you were, you're pretty much fine,

If you do this, you should not have a method around and easily available during Day 1 or Day 2 after dropping. or Day 3. Day 1-3 will be awful. It will be week 2 that you may start to feel better.

But it will change your brain structure in ways that ECT and psychotherapy and psychiatry can't. It will randomly kill some cells (but not that many) and some new cells (or neurogenesis) will happen also. Different parts of your brain will be more connected. Some parts less. If I were suicidal because of anhedonia, I'd at least try it. Psychiatrist can't recommend it... but... should you do it? Yeah, probably. Just don't do it a lot. Too much of it causes massive problems.

 

[littlecutecorpse]

such kind words. i hope you find peace, best wishes

 

[fadedghost]

can i ask how it does that? like what exactly do you mean by it having the ability to change my past and reality?

and i support that agenda lmao

i replied but the post is awaiting mod approval, so you'll probably never see it, but i went into how it causes neurogenesis. it may have been blocked because of certain words used. i don't know... i also tried to modify the message and send it directly to you and was blocked. there's nothing more i can do! this is what happens when people recommend ways of getting better that aren't approved by the establishment.

so i guess i recant. my new recommendation is call 988, take prozac, and think positive thoughts... ? since apparently that's all i can suggest.

 

[kuroshimi]

Wishing you a peaceful journey, best regards

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the relief you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[unluckysadness]

thank you my dear my belief is that if this life was too difficult to sustain, then we should be given a simpler one next go around. i hope to receive that healing and care as well. i'll be watching over everyone and help as much as i can from the other side. love and peace to you on this journey and all the ones to come

Many thanks for your kind words and for watching over us if you have this possibility Sooner or later, we'll all see what is after this life.
Goodbye beautiful soul

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I wish you a peaceful passing. if that's what you want

 

[corpse]

I hope you find peace.

 

[Seneca65AD]

I rarely post on "goodbye" threads because I probably would be banned for being "pro-life"; but the sentiments you expressed reveal a soul that has gained a great deal of knowledge - and I'm sure at the cost of a lot of emotional scars. I am not going to presume to know your pain but if you have tried everything including ECT, then I wish you the absolute best and hope to have a drink with you on the other side.

If you have not tried everything, then perhaps you may want to before CTB. Reconsidering or postponing CTB is within your power just as checking out is. If you are at peace with your decision then I hope you get everything good the after-life can offer. But just remember, you have people here who can see your value even if you can't. Geez, that sounded hokey.

"Be gay and do crime" is something I want to put on my business card.....hell, I'm not even gay and I want to blow someone and rob a bank....probably at the same time.

 

[thelittleprincess]

Goodbye, I hope you find your peace. We are born from the stars and return to them. The most beautiful souls shine brightest, so I know I will see you in the sky.

 

[unbelievablydead]

Great words of wisdom. I'm sure such knowledge was brutally earned. I wish you the best.

brutally is correct haha, glad i could share. thank you for reading and for the well wishes

I rarely post on "goodbye" threads because I probably would be banned for being "pro-life"; but the sentiments you expressed reveal a soul that has gained a great deal of knowledge - and I'm sure at the cost of a lot of emotional scars. I am not going to presume to know your pain but if you have tried everything including ECT, then I wish you the absolute best and hope to have a drink with you on the other side.

If you have not tried everything, then perhaps you may want to before CTB. Reconsidering or postponing CTB is within your power just as checking out is. If you are at peace with your decision then I hope you get everything good the after-life can offer. But just remember, you have people here who can see your value even if you can't. Geez, that sounded hokey.

"Be gay and do crime" is something I want to put on my business card.....hell, I'm not even gay and I want to blow someone and rob a bank....probably at the same time.

well i'm honored that you chose to reply to mine and greatly appreciate your message

i understand other ppl's frustration with pro-life comments for sure (some truly do lack empathy for another person's personal experience/desires), but yours very much comes across as someone who genuinely cares. i feel we're very similar in that, for other people, i def see the possibility for "healing" (don't really like that terminology, but it's there) if they want to (keyword "want")**. i think that in the cases where trauma and mental illness are the root cause of the suicidal ideation, there are a lot of meds and therapies that can tackle those things. there is obviously the issue of finances and accessibility which creates a huge barrier for people, so def don't want to make it seem like these solutions are "easy" to come by, but there's things out there for sure. however, and i know this may sound completely hypocritical, my case is a bit more complicated, and i just don't see anything that would work/"fix" me unless time travel were possible, lol. i have looked into ECT but unsure of how effective it would be for me. i just feel alone in my experience and can't relate to others and that's affected my ability to enjoy things along with the nature of what happened. so, it's not so much a lack of seeing value in my individual self (although i do have a lot of self-loathing) and more so knowing i'm just kinda stuck either living a life that doesn't feel good/normal anymore or ctb, and i think i'm going with the latter- fortunately or unfortunately i guess haha. either way, i am so down for that drink on the other side and will be looking forward to it for sure!

as for your earthly life, i fully support your agenda in wanting to blow someone and rob a bank simultaneously, that sounds epic haha

**also just want to acknowledge those with physical disabilities that would "want" things to be better, but due to limits in medical technology or other factors, they aren't able to have the quality of life that feels best for them to continue on :(

Goodbye, I hope you find your peace. We are born from the stars and return to them. The most beautiful souls shine brightest, so I know I will see you in the sky.

this is so lovely and kind omg from one bright soul to another, thank you and wishing you peace as well