Goodbye. Love you all

[Chiisai]

Welcome baaack! Was surprised to see you in another thread after this. Thought somebody else was using your account to snoop.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Welcome baaack! Was surprised to see you in another thread after this. Thought somebody else was using your account to snoop.

Hehe, no It was me. But I think I will still try to attempt and post it in this thread. But I will make It obvious when I will attempt and If I do not make any posts after it means I will be dead >-<
But It is not time yet. I will do I later, maybe tomorrow.

 

[Manaaja]

Good luck! I hope you find what you're looking for!

 

[fox_wannabe]

Good luck! I hope you find what you're looking for!

HAHAHAHA Lmao, thanks.

Edit: I think I am insane. I want to laugh and kill myself at the same time. Anybody here experiences it?

 

[deadverysoon]

HAHAHAHA Lmao, thanks.

Edit: I think I am insane. I want to laugh and kill myself at the same time. Anybody here experiences it?

every day - im so sarcastic it hurts sometimes.

but the desire to die is fucking real - that makes everything even worse.

 

[fox_wannabe]

but the desire to die is fucking real - that makes everything even worse.

I really want to attempt, I feel I need to finish what I started. I want to go back to the noose and pass out and die.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Goodbye. I will hang myself in few hours to an hour.
I will log off from SS and delete browsing history, set automatic text message to my father and listen to crane wives. Love you all. Peace out.

 

[deadverysoon]

Goodbye. I will hang myself in few hours to an hour.
I will log off from SS and delete browsing history, set automatic text message to my father and listen to crane wives. Love you all. Peace out.

i wish you would not have to. but i wish you peace :-(

 

[fox_wannabe]

This is the reason I didn't make separate thread for that. I couldn't kill myself. My neck is red and I pulled out like 4 times when SI kicked in. I just cannot let go. I am so pissed. I am not allowed to leave I guess

 

[deadverysoon]

This is the reason I didn't make separate thread for that. I couldn't kill myself. My neck is red and I pulled out like 4 times when SI kicked in. I just cannot let go. I am so pissed. I am not allowed to leave I guess

ugly feeling i know that - but im really happy that youre still here... and also very sorry for your pain :(

 

[fox_wannabe]

ugly feeling i know that - but im really happy that youre still here... and also very sorry for your pain :(

You might be happy but I hate It here!!! All respect why do people treat me like a nice thing to have in their vicinity. I just do not like myself. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[deadverysoon]

You might be happy but I hate It here!!! All respect why do people treat me like a nice thing to have in their vicinity. I just do not like myself. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i want to say something different but i also hate it here.

 

[fox_wannabe]

i want to say something different but i also hate it here.

You don't have to say anything different. True words are much more appreciated

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

i want to say something different but i also hate it here.

You don't have to say anything different. True words are much more appreciated

I hate it here as well. I know it's selfish but I'm glad you guys are here.

 

[fox_wannabe]

hate it here as well. I know it's selfish but I'm glad you guys are here.

Thanks I guess <3 If only people understood it as well as you.

 

[Kennish]

This is the reason I didn't make separate thread for that. I couldn't kill myself. My neck is red and I pulled out like 4 times when SI kicked in. I just cannot let go. I am so pissed. I am not allowed to leave I guess

Hi, what does SI mean?

 

[fox_wannabe]

Hi, what does SI mean?

Survival Instinct

 

[ItsTimeToExit]

Hi, what does SI mean?

Depends on the context it is used in.

It's either Survival Instinct, or Suicide Ideation.

 

[Kennish]

Survival Instinct

Thank you

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

If I stay it will be because my SI uses my attachments to keep me here. With each day I stay I get worse. I did not plan to make it this far, I wanted to die 9th of September, and month before that I was counting each day before this day. I stayed for family and drugs, but non of this things stop underlying problem: my life and me.

This resonates strongly with me. I've had two failed attempts because images of my family kept me from going through with it. I finally had enough and had settled on January 16 this year. I counted down the days and wrote messages each day detailing my mood and my thoughts for the people I was leaving behind. Well, it's September 25 and I'm still here. I really wish I could just end it.

 

[fox_wannabe]

This resonates strongly with me. I've had two failed attempts because images of my family kept me from going through with it. I finally had enough and had settled on January 16 this year. I counted down the days and wrote messages each day detailing my mood and my thoughts for the people I was leaving behind. Well, it's September 25 and I'm still here. I really wish I could just end it.

I know what you feel, I think I know. I do not see good way out other than trying to get better, even though I hate idea of It. for me it seams phony, no offence I just cannot imagine getting well.

 

[wait.what]

I can't bring myself to say to another human being, "I'm sorry you're not dead," but I am very sorry to hear about your suffering. I hate that I'm somehow still here too. It seems like every day you hear about some vibrant and beloved young person getting killed in an auto wreck or some such thing. They loved life, and they were snatched out of it almost immediately. I hate being here, and yet here I am, decade after decade, as my mental illness worsens and my body decays around me. No, I'm not alive because I "secretly want help." It just turns out that evolution strongly favors creatures that find it difficult to impossible to purposely end their time here on earth. I guess all the ones who could take an early out did, and without reproducing at that. I see you, proto-hominid who jumped off a cliff! High five! Okay, low five, you're three feet tall.

Sorry to get silly, it's just 7:30 am here and I haven't slept much. I've been averaging around 4 hours a night for quite some time now, and that's said to make you batshit.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I can't bring myself to say to another human being, "I'm sorry you're not dead," but I am very sorry to hear about your suffering. I hate that I'm somehow still here too. It seems like every day you hear about some vibrant and beloved young person getting killed in an auto wreck or some such thing. They loved life, and they were snatched out of it almost immediately. I hate being here, and yet here I am, decade after decade, as my mental illness worsens and my body decays around me. No, I'm not alive because I "secretly want help." It just turns out that evolution strongly favors creatures that find it difficult to impossible to purposely end their time here on earth. I guess all the ones who could take an early out did, and without reproducing at that. I see you, proto-hominid who jumped off a cliff! High five! Okay, low five, you're three feet tall.

Sorry to get silly, it's just 7:30 am here and I haven't slept much. I've been averaging around 4 hours a night for quite some time now, and that's said to make you batshit.

Hi, allow me to just say that I loved this post

I often find it "funny" how we say to one another here "I'm sorry that you haven't died.".
It sounds like we are being sarcastic or hate the person but we are actually telling the truth and really care about the person.

Also I've been sleepless for a fair amount of nights too and I loved how you said "batshit". Im gonna use this from now on ^^
I batshit a lot.

Sorry for derailing the thread a little. I just loved this post.

(I won't joke around asking "What if batman takes a shit?" To prevent derailing more )