goodbye...i guess

[lessonlearned]

i don't know what to even write. i'm so exhausted that my mind is blank. i don't wanna enclose exactly when i will be going but it will be pretty soon. it definitely won't be a peaceful way of going and i am aware of the risks that come with that. i am just too desperate to die. i don't want treatment or "help" only death. it's been somewhat difficult trying to not fear death but i don't think i fear it anymore. i've been here for far longer than i should have been. every second of everyday is suffering, heartbreak, and trauma. no amount of therapy or medication can help nor do i want it to. i just want to be dead. no one is able to help me in life and if i somehow survive i will be really upset. thanks to everyone who ever tried to help on here or talked to me i really appreciate it. i just need to get things done and then i'll be on my way soon enough. if there is an afterlife i hope to see my heroes. though i really doubt it. thanks again everyone, you are all very kind people and this site doesn't deserve the rep it gets at all. the last thing i really wanna say is that death is just a part of the life cycle, the sun doesn't fear it, the wind doesn't fear it, the rain doesn't fear it. so why should i fear it? goodbye everyone.

 

[Dead Meat]

I wish you all the best and may you have everlasting peace and tranquility you beautiful soul

 

[ceekatty]

I hope you find the peace you're looking for as you take the next step in the cycle, goodbye. Sending hugs and warm feelings

 

[FishGoingInsane]

I sincerely hope all goes well. Goodbye.

 

[EqualibriumWithin]

i hope you find the peace you seek, friend.

the last thing i really wanna say is that death is just a part of the life cycle, the sun doesn't fear it, the wind doesn't fear it, the rain doesn't fear it. so why should i fear it? goodbye everyone.

within the light the crows all fly
one more humble soul to reach into the sky
the sun shines bright on the day of the deed
hearing the call of all those who heed
may the warmth of the earth hold you close with love
like a warm little flying dove

 

[Menhera Chan]

I hope you are freed from your pain

 

[mafuyu]

rest easy

 

[GasMonkey]

What's your method?

 

[EndlessDream]

i don't know what to even write. i'm so exhausted that my mind is blank. i don't wanna enclose exactly when i will be going but it will be pretty soon. it definitely won't be a peaceful way of going and i am aware of the risks that come with that. i am just too desperate to die. i don't want treatment or "help" only death. it's been somewhat difficult trying to not fear death but i don't think i fear it anymore. i've been here for far longer than i should have been. every second of everyday is suffering, heartbreak, and trauma. no amount of therapy or medication can help nor do i want it to. i just want to be dead. no one is able to help me in life and if i somehow survive i will be really upset. thanks to everyone who ever tried to help on here or talked to me i really appreciate it. i just need to get things done and then i'll be on my way soon enough. if there is an afterlife i hope to see my heroes. though i really doubt it. thanks again everyone, you are all very kind people and this site doesn't deserve the rep it gets at all. the last thing i really wanna say is that death is just a part of the life cycle, the sun doesn't fear it, the wind doesn't fear it, the rain doesn't fear it. so why should i fear it? goodbye everyone.

i hope you find peace, you are brave to choose death like this. i'm curious about your method

 

[Pon]

All the best.

 

[Shivali]

 

[borderline-feline]

I hope you're able to escape all of your pain

 

[FuneralCry]

It's very true that people shouldn't fear death. It's the most normal and inevitable thing ever after all and there is no escaping it. Life only is a temporary distraction from the fact that we are all destined to cease existing, and I personally find lots of comfort in the thought of no longer existing. I see death as being freedom from all the suffering and torture that this existence brings, so of course I would never fear it, only life is to be feared instead. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[EndlessDream]

It's very true that people shouldn't fear death. It's the most normal and inevitable thing ever after all and there is no escaping it. Life only is a temporary distraction from the fact that we are all destined to cease existing, and I personally find lots of comfort in the thought of no longer existing. I see death as being freedom from all the suffering and torture that this existence brings, so of course I would never fear it, only life is to be feared instead. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

I'm more excited about after death and what it will feel like, if it has any feeling or not. I'm curious to explore. I'm more fearful of not successfully CTBing and/or someone saving me. I don't wanna be stuck in a vegetative state where I can no longer try to CTB and be forced to suffer and live.

 

[FishGoingInsane]

It's very true that people shouldn't fear death. It's the most normal and inevitable thing ever after all and there is no escaping it. Life only is a temporary distraction from the fact that we are all destined to cease existing, and I personally find lots of comfort in the thought of no longer existing. I see death as being freedom from all the suffering and torture that this existence brings, so of course I would never fear it, only life is to be feared instead. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

I don't know if I fear death or just the pain that comes before/during it. I can easily and often imagine myself dying some pretty gruesome ways because it's nothing more than fantasy, but when it comes to thinking about things that are a bit more realistic (attainable/common) I can't help but think about the pain that comes with most methods and start to rethink CTB, before I start thinking about it again minutes later.

I'm more fearful of not successfully CTBing and/or someone saving me. I don't wanna be stuck in a vegetative state where I can no longer try to CTB and be forced to suffer and live.

I agree with this, but besides being forced to suffer and live, I also think about how much of a financial/mental burden I would be on family if I were to survive in a vegetative state. I would imagine that they wouldn't be able to move on, because technically I'm not actually fully gone yet. Being left in a vegetative state just seems like a nightmare situation that I always think about when I think about CTB.

 

[EndlessDream]

I don't know if I fear death or just the pain that comes before/during it. I can easily and often imagine myself dying some pretty gruesome ways because it's nothing more than fantasy, but when it comes to thinking about things that are a bit more realistic (attainable/common) I can't help but think about the pain that comes with most methods and start to rethink CTB, before I start thinking about it again minutes later.


I agree with this, but besides being forced to suffer and live, I also think about how much of a financial/mental burden I would be on family if I were to survive in a vegetative state. I would imagine that they wouldn't be able to move on, because technically I'm not actually fully gone yet. Being left in a vegetative state just seems like a nightmare situation that I always think about when I think about CTB.

Even if I just paralysed from the waist down and my arms were working, even that would be great since I could just down some pills lol. I'm more scared about my brain and mental processing thinking that life is again worth it after brain damage, and then be OK with the suffering

 

[egirlsuicides]

i don't know what to even write. i'm so exhausted that my mind is blank. i don't wanna enclose exactly when i will be going but it will be pretty soon. it definitely won't be a peaceful way of going and i am aware of the risks that come with that. i am just too desperate to die. i don't want treatment or "help" only death. it's been somewhat difficult trying to not fear death but i don't think i fear it anymore. i've been here for far longer than i should have been. every second of everyday is suffering, heartbreak, and trauma. no amount of therapy or medication can help nor do i want it to. i just want to be dead. no one is able to help me in life and if i somehow survive i will be really upset. thanks to everyone who ever tried to help on here or talked to me i really appreciate it. i just need to get things done and then i'll be on my way soon enough. if there is an afterlife i hope to see my heroes. though i really doubt it. thanks again everyone, you are all very kind people and this site doesn't deserve the rep it gets at all. the last thing i really wanna say is that death is just a part of the life cycle, the sun doesn't fear it, the wind doesn't fear it, the rain doesn't fear it. so why should i fear it? goodbye everyone.

good luck! may i ask what method you chose?