Goodbye (for real)

[Helvete]

It can be a messy process and like april said you really dont need to prove anything to yourself, because that one really is permanent. Ultimately everything should be about your peace and comfort, so if this is making you uncomfortable then maybe look into other alternatives or methods of help

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

If youre actually ready, why dont you treat yourself yknow? Buy a fancy dinner for yourself and enjoy it bro

Dont have too much money left lol I just got raising canes cause that's a comfort food for me

 

[Helvete]

Raising Canes is a huge win :)

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

It can be a messy process and like april said you really dont need to prove anything to yourself, because that one really is permanent. Ultimately everything should be about your peace and comfort, so if this is making you uncomfortable then maybe look into other alternatives or methods of help

Idk I've tried man it's just not for me like I NEED to die and as soon as i get the final step of my plan i pussy out its so frustrating

 

[Helvete]

well regardless, at least its good to talk about and share. ive been there myself a number of times and could never pull the trigger. i cant tell if its just fear or if its hope. life has its ups and downs, and it tends to let you get pretty low sometimes just to bring you right back out. Thats why these things arent supposed to be done on an impulse. I hope maybe your evening can be relaxing at least, with some good food and a relaxing hotel :)

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

well regardless, at least its good to talk about and share. ive been there myself a number of times and could never pull the trigger. i cant tell if its just fear or if its hope. life has its ups and downs, and it tends to let you get pretty low sometimes just to bring you right back out. Thats why these things arent supposed to be done on an impulse. I hope maybe your evening can be relaxing at least, with some good food and a relaxing hotel :)

Thank you :)
Current plan is to go to this mountainy rural area nearby and just stare at nature and listen to music. When it feels right I'll pull the trigger. If I'm not back in 2 days assume I'm dead. Again love ya'll <3

 

[IonicLemon69]

wishing you the best in whatever you choose to do. enjoy the scenary & the raising canes. i wish we had raising canes where i am LOL.

 

[Helvete]

Love you man, hope your time in nature is peaceful! <3

 

[Aprilfarewell4]

Thank you :)
Current plan is to go to this mountainy rural area nearby and just stare at nature and listen to music. When it feels right I'll pull the trigger. If I'm not back in 2 days assume I'm dead. Again love ya'll <3

Please don't leave people wondering, I think if you don't do it you need to let the board members know so they're not wondering, there's no shame. But it is cruel to leave people not knowing what became of you, people that have gotten to know you a little bit on these message boards.

 

[letsgetittogo]

Dont have too much money left lol I just got raising canes cause that's a comfort food for me

I'm not sure what part of the United States toure in. Where I'm at it's pretty cold still. Is your area warm enough to where you'd be comfy being outside or in nature?

Edit: I just saw your last post about going someplace rural

 

[bloodystarzklt]

i hope you find the peace you're looking for<3 we'll see ya soon..⁠♡

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

I'm not sure what part of the United States toure in. Where I'm at it's pretty cold still. Is your area warm enough to where you'd be comfy being outside or in nature?

Edit: I just saw your last post about going someplace rural

Ya it's warm where I'm at so I'm not worried abt weather
Made a pit stop at gas station for water. Next door there was a restaurant so I'm getting a cookie as like last little sweet treat lol. (If you couldnt tell i very much find comfort in food)

 

[letsgetittogo]

Do you guys think he's okay? :/

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Do you guys think he's okay? :/

Hi still alive, sat staring at the road on this little hill thingy contemplating for what felt like forever

Hi still alive, sat staring at the road on this little hill thingy contemplating for what felt like forever

Had the gun in my mouth, loaded, with the safety off and couldnt do it

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

Had the gun in my mouth, loaded, with the safety off and couldnt do it

SI is difficult. Thank you for updating us. How are you feeling?

 

[february in alaska]

My heart goes out to you man, this shit isn't easy even when you feel like you're already prepared to go through with it.... best of luck no matter what happens.

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

Ok I'm just gonna head home now I think. Not sure how honest I'm going to be with my friends and family since I dont want my gun taken away. Idk i feel like they'll find it regardless tho

 

[Demian]

Ok I'm just gonna head home now I think. Not sure how honest I'm going to be with my friends and family since I dont want my gun taken away. Idk i feel like they'll find it regardless tho

I confess I'm glad you're alive!

I was 100% suicidal a few weeks ago and now I'm not anymore. I've made some plans, etc.

I'm not ruling out ctb, but I'm no longer 100% suicidal.

I hope you, and all of us here, can find our way.

If you want, you can send me a pm.

 

[Helvete]

Hey bro, glad to hear from you, stay strong man! You dont have to tell your friends/family anything if you dont want to. If you are still stressing about, maybe you could ask a friend to keep it for a few days or until you are feeling better later on. If you need anything or just someone to chat with feel free to pm :)

 

[ilovemydog]

I'm sorry for all the suffering you're going through

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Suicide is hard. If you still have lingering hope, it's really impossible. There's no shame in not being ready. Being ready will either happen, or it won't. Kinda has to happen organically, I think. I don't really think there's much, if anything you can do, to force it to happen. Just need to roll with it as best you can. Peace to you either way, whether you have to continue living in this world for a while, or whether you eventually reach that place where you are able to let go.

 

[etherealgoddess]

Hey everyone! I'm at my hotel rn and check out is in an hour which feels like I have an impending death clock lol. I'm gonna shoot myself in the next coming hour with a .45 ACP pistol with an FMJ round (unfortunately not ideal bullet)

I'm unable to acquire any other ammo because of my stay in a psych ward which'll show on my background check.

I've written my letters and I've recorded a final video which I'm going to send to my friends explaining that I'm dead. I'm thinking about reaching out to my ex to ask if they have any questions that'll help with closure but to be honest I feel like they won't care. It's already been 4 months lol

Thank you guys for always being so understanding and welcoming. See ya when I see ya <3

Why do you think your ex won't care?

 

[justcallmeJ]

Ok I'm just gonna head home now I think. Not sure how honest I'm going to be with my friends and family since I dont want my gun taken away. Idk i feel like they'll find it regardless tho

Its ok, im glad your alive still, you just werent ready. Take care of yourself <3

 

[Raindancer]

I was following yesterday and I have to say I am glad you are still here. Please do not feel like you have to prove anything, you don't. I hope you are OK and sending healing and peaceful thoughts.