Venting Goodbye everybody

[KatrinaKatrina]

Name : Katrina
Location : Amsterdam, NH NL
This is going to be my second and last post on here.
That was unexpected but I am going to hang myself in 30 minutes. I will fight the voice that tells me not to do it (I don't want to go into detail, but I am schizophrenic).
I will drink some water, burn stuff I don't want somebody to find after I die, then I hang myself.
My heart is beating so hard now.

 

[Blackjack]

Please. Don't. Do. This.

 

[İnilerim]

I hope that you will be without pain

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

Please. Don't. Do. This.

I want to rest. I had enough, I can't wait anymore.

I hope that you will be without pain

Thank you! My heart is beating. I wanted to eat something but I can't because my heart is beating so fast I feel like I am going to puke.

 

[Blackjack]

I want to rest. I had enough, I can't wait anymore.

This method is not easy, or peaceful. You will likely fail. Have you considered SN?

 

[Jean4]

I am not trying to stop you. I know what mental illnesses is like. Are you sure and you aren't having an episode that will pass? That happens to me.

 

[LuzurPhagget]

If you feel this is the best, then I hope you find your peace. Cya soon.

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

This method is not easy, or peaceful. You will likely fail. Have you considered SN?

I only know hanging. I need one more month to prepare suicide with sn, and I really can't do that.

I am not trying to stop you. I know what mental illnesses is like. Are you sure and you aren't having an episode that will pass? That happens to me.

I don't think it is an episode that will pass because I decided to hang myself with full suspension. There is no way to fail or change my mind.
I'm sorry that happens to you.

 

[Eric]

Judging by your post this seems impulsive. How about you wait a week or just 2 days and see if you still feel this way? Couldn't hurt. Good luck.

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

Judging by your post this seems impulsive. How about you wait a week or just 2 days and see if you still feel this way? Couldn't hurt. Good luck.

I swear I am not an attention seeker. I was called that once for saying I'm suicidal. I am not I swear. I will do it today. Thank you!

 

[Eric]

I swear I am not an attention seeker. I was called that once for saying I'm suicidal. I am not I swear. I will do it today. Thank you!

I'm not at all saying that you are an attention seeker. I don't know you, but judging by your post it seems that you are going through a particularly rough time right now that may pass in the future. I am merely suggesting that you wait and see if this rough patch subsides. Good luck.

 

[DeathImminent]

Katrina i know that living with schizophrenia is hard and living with antipsychotics isnt that pleasurable but could you atleast try them before you decide to do this irreversible thing? I hope you find peace in whatever you decide to do, *hugs*

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

I am going to burn letters, my computer, dirty clothes I didn't wash and some papers I found inside an old suitcase.
The phone I am using now is new so there is nothing sensitive in it.

I wanted to eat chicken nuggets they are my favorite but I couldn't because I feel pain in my stomach and my heart beats so fast I feel like I m going to puke.

I only own a parrot, his name is Coco. He is my best friend, I putted enough food for him to eat and water to drink. I hope they find him as soon as I die.

I will use a scarf to hand myself full suspension, because I can't fight my SI with partial.
I will stand on a chair and push it when I am ready. I hope I lose consciousness fast.

 

[Stan]

I respect your choice, but I am concerned that you will do more harm than good like this.

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

I respect your choice, but I am concerned that you will do more harm than good like this.

Please tell me why. I don't want to leave with this thought in my mind

 

[Stan]

Nearly every event that we have seen without planning does not go well. I would urge you to take a moment or two to think if you can before you do anything destructive

 

[LuzurPhagget]

And if you do go through with it, please remember to make sure the fire is out.

 

[JimFord99]

You still here, Kat? Please calm down.

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

Nearly every event that we have seen without planning does not go well. I would urge you to take a moment or two to think if you can before you do anything destructive

I am going to tie the scarf to a very strong rail, stand on a chair and push it when I am ready. No one will interrupt. Don't worry!
Thank you!

 

[JimFord99]

Hey, don't rush into it. Please.

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

And if you do go through with it, please remember to make sure the fire is out.

I am waiting for everything to completely burn then I will make sure to extinguish the fire.

Hey, don't rush into it. Please.

If only I could calm down and go to sleep hoping for a better day. But thats impossible.

 

[White_Room293]

I am not trying to stop you. I know what mental illnesses is like. Are you sure and you aren't having an episode that will pass? That happens to me.

Thank you for this. It's nice to know I'm not alone and it's hard to let this shit pass but each time I'm getting more and more self aware about it. I'm hoping that I don't make any rash decisions and only kill myself in a sound mind if it comes to that

Hey, don't rush into it. Please.

This is extremely important OP. Please make your exit as peaceful as possible and believe me I know how hard it is to hold on but you're ending your life and I think it should be as painless and suited to you as possible. I don't want you waking up in a hospital, love

 

[Azzy69]

Don't be scared. You'll soon feel nothing at all. I don't know you, but I will miss you. Good luck up there

 

[JimFord99]

It is a lack of sleep which makes you feel so bad?

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

It is time to go.
The papers and clothes disappeared. I burned the computer but you can still see it. I poured water to make sure the fire is out and the computer doesn't work.

I will do it in 2 minutes. If I don't reply in 1H from now, then I am dead.

Thank you for being kind and friendly. Take care of yourself and don't forget to keep remembering me for being Katrina Coco.
I would love this thread to be the place where people say good things about me.
Goodbye.

 

[JimFord99]

Hey, don't! If you need to talk, PM me.

 

[KatrinaKatrina]

Hey, don't! If you need to talk, PM me.

Thank you for carrying about me but If I don't do it now I will keep suffering more.
I love you. Thank you for being my friend.


Goodbye everyone. Wish me luck.

 

[JimFord99]

Maybe we can help you? Don't rush into it.

 

[gingerplum]

It's ok to change your mind, or come back to talk if you don't succeed in your attempt.

 

[JimFord99]

It is never too late, but always too early.