NSFW Goodbye — CTB with Handgun (38 Special Revolver)

[yellowsouled]

Hi friends,

Getting my revolver ready. Kinda got a little drunk earlier but mostly sobered up, so drinking a bit again. Acid reflux is a bitch.

+P 38 Special from a little 2in snub nose revolver. Dry fired a few times and expirimenred to see how it worked. Yee.

Got a scheduled text going out to a coworker awhile from now asking them to call police and my address/circumstances (aka where to look). Got my lockscreen set to stuff like no forced life support if I'm brain dead or extremely impaired (I know this won't be inherently accepted, but it's the thought that counts) as well as my parents' numbers. Door is locked and barricaded.

Been in a lot of increasing physical pain lately and mental health has been shot for years. Living in a red state as someone LGBT + unsupportive parents + abusive upbringing + few ambitions or skills + extreme and constantly changing chronic pain = not seeing many reasons to stay. Scared to do it, obviously, but more scared of constant physical pain (especially weird or embarrassing pain — like, TMI, but pretty sure my UTI has gone into a kidney infection or something and it is Deeply Painful, worse than when I had ovarian cysts, and my insurance sucks so no medical stuff).

It's just been a lot. Sorry for the gross stuff and rambling. I haven't eaten in a couples days from physical pain and nerves. Finally did eat tonight because I was going to vomit.

Bit worried that headshot won't do the job, but my guess is even if it doesn't hit brain stem, being drunk (thinner blood) and hopefully not being discovered immediately will help things along. Have a note scheduled to my Tumblr (my main social media my IRLs aren't on) that'll post in a couple weeks if I die (or otherwise am too impaired to delete it from my queue).

Thanks for talking to me for so long. I'm glad we could chat.

 

[karakoltriste]

Peace and love

 

[Alexandra0]

I'm so sorry that life has been so unfair to you. I understand you, because it treated me the same way. I wish you luck

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace.

 

[darksouls]

good luck
hope everything goes well for you
and you find the peace you deserve

 

[gothbird]

I'm sorry the world made it so hard for you to exist, in your body, in your identity, in your home, in a system that doesn't make space for people like us. None of this is your fault. You've done what you could, for as long as you could, in conditions most wouldn't survive a year in.
The pain sounds unbearable. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. No one should have to beg for basic care or peace. I wish you'd been met with compassion sooner, not just here at the edge.

Whatever happens next, I hope it's quiet. I hope it's warm. I hope your body finally stops aching and your mind lets go of the weight it's been holding for years.
Wherever you're headed, whether it's nothingness, another life, or something no one can name, I hope you feel free there.
Goodbye, traveller.
See you in the stars!

 

[LastNite]

Good bye forever wishing you peace

 

[Dqope]

May you go and find your peace....

 

[spero_meliora]

I'm so sorry your life and circumstances have brought you to this - you seem like such a sweet soul. May you find the peace you seek, the peace and compassion that you were so clearly denied in life.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find peace from suffering, I wish you the best.

 

[nobeertonight]

I hope you find the peace you so much deserve...
Goodbye <3

 

[locked*n*loaded]

May the peace you find be all encompassing and set you completely free from the pain, misery, and unhappiness that has been unfairly brought upon you. Rest well friend.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I hope it goes the way u want it to go.but if u still haven't imo like I posted in another thread . That gun might work but as u seem to be doing it where people can hear, they might try to bring u back with brain damage. if u can the S&W .460 magnum handgun as i posted in ur other thread is the way to ensure certainty so that nothing can be done to bring someone back with brain damage

It's all about power and energy

The 10 Most Powerful Handguns in the World

Based on pressure, here’s a look at 10 of the most powerful handguns in the world and the cartridges they fire. You might be surprised which revolvers and pistols generate the most pressure and how that translates to power.

www.fieldandstream.com

 

[TAW122]

I hope that you have gone peacefully and without much pain or suffering.

 

[dearlydeparted44]

If you're serious and you've thought it all the way through, then may you find peace. I say that because you sounded a little unsure when we were discussing the type of gun you bought.

 

[Namelesa]

Whatever happens, i hope you have escaped your pain. Bye bye Clover.

 

[TheVanishingPoint]

You took your step, and maybe now you're smiling
I don't know if these words still reach you, but even if not, that's okay
I just hope you've found some peace — the kind the world never truly gave you.

You stepped out of a suffocating room and I don't see you falling — I see you moving beyond like walking through an open door into the sky
You made your choice with clarity, with tenderness , with that calm only someone who has looked everything in the eye can possess
You've set yourself free and there's beauty in that a truth that needs no explanation.

There's no sadness in my farewell
Only respect and a gentle smile

Safe journey where the body grows quiet and the mind finally rests

– From me, and me alone

 

[opheliaoveragain]

nothing but peace nothing but love.

 

[bankai]

Rest in peace, OP.Your suffering is finally at an end.

 

[Forveleth]

Rest well. I hope you found peace.

 

[22yearsbroken]

Be at peace..

 

[rozeske]

I hope you have found peace. Rest well.