Goodbye - ctb on Thursday

[completely-done]

Hi SS friends!

I am making this post as a goodbye thread. My expected ctb time should be sometime Thursday. You don't have to respond; I just want to say goodbye to everyone here.

I have nothing to say for myself except that my life was a waste of time and full of sadness, anxiety, regrets and being unendingly annoying and tiresome. I am happy to leave life and I mourn for what I wish to be. I will never be a worthwhile person in my eyes or anyone else's. That is okay, I have accepted this fact and am at peace with my upcoming death.

I will miss my friends and family. I will miss you all here on SS too. Thank you for keeping me company in the last days of my life. I am very happy I'm not dying completely alone because I will be on SS with you all until I pass out from multiple SN doses. Thank you for your support and care. Everyone here on SS are lovely human beings, and deep down I wish I could meet you all and wish none of you had ctb nor want to ctb because you are such beautiful and intelligent beings. I understand the pain you all are in though, everyone here will make their own choice whether to stay alive or not, just as I have made my choice too.

I will spend my last couple of days on here as much as I can and will especially be here until my very last moment conscious or unable to interact if I start to vomit.

Thank you for a lovely time. Farewell friends

 

[Buddha.e.c]

I,m sorry to here that nobody realizes when your in pain until your gone sad but true . This world is temporary if we die on earth we go where there is no pain no suffering just peace.
i wish you luck and i will see you soon...

 

[waitingforrest]

Goodbye, I will miss you. Sleep peacefully friend, it was a joy to have met you.

It's bittersweet to see you go, I hope we all are able to keep company in your last moments.

 

[an_alias]

i'll miss you. you were a lovely poster and i'm sorry for what happened with the psych - may you find peace in nothingness

 

[onleana]

will you take AE? I wish you peace in whatever you decide. remember there is absolutely no shame in deciding to stay a little longer. farewell friend!!

 

[OrcWitch]

I don't know the proper thing to say in threads like this, but don't want you to go ignored either. I liked your presence and feel bad that you're in so much pain. You deserved better in life.

 

[Oblivion Access]

For what it's worth, I never found your posts tiresome or annoying, and you are a worthwhile person in my eyes. I'm sorry your circumstances have you led you to this point.

May you find peace, whatever happens.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I'm sorry you've felt pain and suffering in your life; I hope you can find peace.

 

[Depressed Cat]

It's saddening to know that life has been so cruel to you. Don't let others' opinions of you fool you into degrading yourself. You are a worthwhile person and a beautiful soul.

Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I hope your exit is as peaceful as possible and that you find eternal peace.

 

[Somber]

I hope you have given consideration to all potential solutions to your reasons for wanting to CTB.

If you change your mind, you're always welcome to stay. If you decide to go ahead with it, I wish you a peaceful passing and that you may save us a seat.

 

[fox_wannabe]

I am sad to hear you had bad time down here. Feel free to stay with us, but It is your choice at the end and I will respect It. I wish you peace whatever your choice is.

Edit: If you want to chat dm me. I will listen

 

[Crazy4u]

I'm sorry to hear you are in pain. I enjoyed interacting with you here on SS. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best

 

[Quantum Particle]

May I wish you all the very best in whatever you decide to do. You are appreciated and respected on this site and it would be very sad to see you go. I send all my love to you

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you were suffering so much in life. I know that it can be unbearable when you are in so much pain. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[completely-done]

will you take AE? I wish you peace in whatever you decide. remember there is absolutely no shame in deciding to stay a little longer. farewell friend!!

Yes I've been taking high doses of quetiapine for a few days now and will be taking AE (meto) before SN just to be sure.
Thank you, I wish I could stay but there's spot for me in life. Time to join the dirt! I'll miss you

 

[BRuss]

Need a partner?

 

[completely-done]

Need a partner?

Thanks for the offer but my personal number 1 rule is to not implicate or involve anyone in my suicide. So unfortunately I cannot get a partner for this, I have to be physically alone. Thanks for understanding I hope you're doing alright today

 

[olkf]

This has to be the fastest join date to Ctb ever. I envy you!

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I am sorry it has come to this. Hope you find the peace you desried.

 

[JinZhin]

I am sorry that things have played out in this way and led you here. I really relate to the feeling of wasted life, giving up on what you love and grief it all brings. It truly sucks that some things, such as life that doesn't feel like a prison seem to be so unattainable. Also, Ićd like to add I never found your posts tiresome or annoying, I hope you find peace and wish you a painless journey.

 

[completely-done]

Looks like something came up for Thursday, so I'll have to ctb tonight. Started fasting an hour ago and have all my material ready. Very nervous but I'm not gonna think of it in depth, just gotta do the actions.
Also will I experience a freaky trip? lol maybe I should play music while I'm going. but maybe that will make the potential trip even trippier. also i just got fired from my job because i came in late. sucks but it doesnt matter anymore

Looks like something came up for Thursday, so I'll have to ctb tonight. Started fasting an hour ago and have all my material ready. Very nervous but I'm not gonna think of it in depth, just gotta do the actions.
Also will I experience a freaky trip? lol maybe I should play music while I'm going. but maybe that will make the potential trip even trippier. also i just got fired from my job because i came in late. sucks but it doesnt matter anymore

Ah I'm so nervous I'm gonna watch some of my fav YT videos to distract myself. I need coffee. I think i'm gonna cry. I really cannot survive this attempt, I cant afford to survive. I'm scared of the pain that will follow but I hope I will pass out before full cyanosis. I wont dare to look at any part of my body during the dying process because it'll look freaky to see myself slowly turn darker and darker

 

[onleana]

how are you doing?

 

[Depressed Cat]

Ah I'm so nervous I'm gonna watch some of my fav YT videos to distract myself. I need coffee. I think i'm gonna cry. I really cannot survive this attempt, I cant afford to survive. I'm scared of the pain that will follow but I hope I will pass out before full cyanosis. I wont dare to look at any part of my body during the dying process because it'll look freaky to see myself slowly turn darker and darker

I'm sorry that you had to advance your plan. How are you feeling now? If you wish, I can stay here with you for support.

 

[whatevs]

Safe travels, it's your right to decide and you seem determined. For the record, I never detected anything that made you not-worthwhile in your posts... It's likely false that you aren't a worthwhile person.

What happens when we die? To the next chapter, or the void? I'm more of a something-on-the-other-side person.

 

[someonelse]

I'm sorry you've had such pain in your life. I know a lot of us here can relate. Please know there are people here who care about you and regardless of if tonight is successful, you will always have people here ready to listen. There's no shame in coming back.

I was planning on ctb last Saturday but I chickened out partially because I didn't have an AE that would work. I'm now considering trying again this Saturday with the AE. I hope we all find peace in some form or another.

 

[completely-done]

Safe travels, it's your right to decide and you seem determined. For the record, I never detected anything that made you not-worthwhile in your posts... It's likely false that you aren't a worthwhile person.

What happens when we die? To the next chapter, or the void? I'm more of a something-on-the-other-side person.

I always admire you, I think you're very cool

I'm sorry that you had to advance your plan. How are you feeling now? If you wish, I can stay here with you for support.

Thank you. I'm in weird states of mind right now. One moment I'm ssentimental, another I'm crying and sobbing, and other moments I'm elated with happiness and peace. My emotions are so confusing but I definitely know what I must do tonight. It's final
Thank you for your support. I might reach out to you today if I can get a grip on my emotions lol. Thank you

how are you doing?

I'm feeling very emotional. I hope my post doesnt bring you sadness or negativity in any way. You are a beautiful person

 

[FentIsMyWay]

Godspeed, are you still here?

 

[completely-done]

Godspeed, are you still here?

Yes I'm here, it's not the designated time yet though. How are you?

 

[BrokenUntilTheEnd]

I wish for a peaceful and calm experience for you

 

[Niirvana]

Hello beautiful, I wish you a good trip, if you are thinking about it a lot it is because you are not ready to leave, whatever the path, I understand you and I will go the same way