Venting Gonna tell my therapist imma ctb one last time lol

[obei]

So idk what to rly do anymore.
Everybody wants me to live but holy shit nothing is working; therapy, meds, hospitalizations, help from loved ones etc.
I mean I only didnt try closed type psych ward but I dont want to anyways.
Idk if I tell my therapist again she will hospitalize me, but I doubt since I think she thinks I am kinda smart and will not rly do it since I am not crying my eyes out or am mad, just calmly tell her I have ctb thoughts.
Imma make final plan in 2 days, and will prob ctb then in 2 months, or 3.

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I know how you feel, I've tried so many things but none of it feels like it has worked, still same excruciating existence as I've always had. I hope it goes well Obei you really do deserve to feel better I hope something comes around that sparks the desire to live again. I'm so sorry you're going through this :[ hopefully she can help in some way :>, I'll be rooting for you and keeping you in my thoughts

 

[dinosavr]

I think it's a good idea to try again. Whatever happens, ctb will always remain possible.

 

[theboy]

it's a difficult process to get the idea of CTB out of your head, so I understand.

 

[Ernest1964]

Something to think about... I either resolve to live at this point in my life or I resolve to CTB at this point in my life. For most people there is some solace in straddling both, but it seems to me that once you choose to resolve one way or the other, then maybe some peace can be experienced in my life. At this point in my life, I am resolved to live, despite the uselessness I feel on a daily basis. I think that the world is better with me in it at this point than it is with me out of it. Arrogant? Maybe.