Venting Going to die.

[lixt]

Hi. I feel life is irrelevant. Scientifically, life is just negentropy, chaos reordering itself to form order. On the other hand, entropy is just order transforming into chaos (randomness). That is why we die. Entropy is everywhere, and it usually wins over negentropy. I also like to think we are irrelevant to everything. Imagine a cube of dimensions 1 meter. Next to it, imagine another cube of dimensions being an integer number of infinite size. Now. What happens to the small cube when compared with the infinite one? It becomes irrelevant. Since time is either infinite or moving towards infinity and since we, as finite time beings, are irrelevant to the whole everything/reality of space-time. If we are irrelevant and must die with everything we do, then what's the point of living? Why can't society let my chemical reactions cease when I want? Why doesn't it let me die? I believe it is a decision I and everyone have the right to decide, and it is not being granted. I also hate myself. People hate me. I believe non-existence gives meaning to life. I want to return to my original state and let my energy and matter give place to something beautiful and new. I want to die. I want to be forgotten. I want to disappear.

There is a balcony at the place where I study. It is around 5 to 6 stories high. I am going to jump. Wish me luck.

I will let you with my quote for a deep thought, "Entropy guides me until death reaches me".

Bye world!

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to disappear, in my case I certainly only see non-existence as desirable, I could never see value in being burdened with the ability to exist as a conscious being. Human existence is very futile to me so it's very much understandable wanting to cease existing on your own terms, I see existence as very unnecessary, I find it tragic how there isn't just nothingness for all eternity.

 

[CloudyNightSky]

If you're not having any doubt about your decision I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you. Byebye friend and safe travels