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M

MrsNobody

nostalgic isolation
Feb 4, 2024
28
Hey, I'm in a bit of a pickle. I'm going to be on the streets of a big dangerous city soon and all of the shelters are full. I have no car and no money and my biggest fear, other than plain embarrassment is getting robbed raped and brutally murdered.

I am scared to die but I have no choice and I'd rather die on my own terms rather than risking rape & murder, etc .


I planned to kill myself through water OD but people advised against this.

I have no car so can't use CO method, I failed a partial hanging attempt last year, and my method this time was going to be alcohol poisoning+ pills.

I have tons of prescription pills from the doctor. The only issue is people are saying this won't work and I'll end up in the hospital.

So what other method can I use that won't attract authorities?
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,815
So what other method can I use that won't attract authorities?
I'm sorry you have to suffer so much and life is unfair to you. There's the Suicide Resource Compilation. Hanging is probably the only method that doesn't attract attention, everyone can buy a rope.
 
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GuessWhosBack

GuessWhosBack

The sun rises to insult me.
Jul 15, 2024
453
Hey friend, are there any churches nearby? They might offer help.
 
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M

MrsNobody

nostalgic isolation
Feb 4, 2024
28
I'm sorry you have to suffer so much and life is unfair to you. There's the Suicide Resource Compilation. Hanging is probably the only method that doesn't attract attention, everyone can buy a rope.

Thank you for the reminder and I might just do that..just need to find a place to hang it without getting caught.
Hey friend, are there any churches nearby? They might offer help.

There are churches but the most they can do is feed me, which is not a huge issue for me. Food isn't an issue it's shelter and safety. I have a boyfriend who can give money for food but he lives in another country.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,815
There are churches but the most they can do is feed me, which is not a huge issue for me. Food isn't an issue it's shelter and safety. I have a boyfriend who can give money for food but he lives in another country.
Can't you travel there? Get sth up with your boyfriend! If this is true love there are ways more than just money for food.

Would it be very difficult for you to travel to the country where your boyfriend lives?

He'll probably be devastated if you CTBed ...
 
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M

MrsNobody

nostalgic isolation
Feb 4, 2024
28
Can't you travel there? Get sth up with your boyfriend! If this is true love there are ways more than just money for food.

Would it be very difficult for you to travel to the country where your boyfriend lives?

He'll probably be devastated if you CTBed ...

We have been talking about this together and he actually offered to pay for me a hotel for a week or even speak to his mother so I could fly to his country, (Germany) to stay with his mom until I found a job.

The issue is we are long distance and have only video chatted and talked on the phone. We were supposed to finally meet in October.



Imagine if I showed up to a foreign country and he after all decided he wasnt interested. Then, there's the risk of being homeless in a foreign country.

Not only this but it would take longer to get a VISA & etc.

Insult added to injury:

I have a physically/mentally ill sister and autistic brother who also lives with me and our mother, (who purposefully chose not to pay rent out of spite) who are also at risk. My sister is my BFF and my boyfriend would not be able to pay for both of us.

I do feel awful about all of this but I can't think of any other way out without being a dick towards my siblings.

My sister is also planning to CTB but no idea if she will be successful and my brother is (maybe) trying to stay with our dad but our dad is wishy washy and keeps changing his mind. He only has room for our brother.

So I'm kinda fucked both ethically and factually.
 
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GuessWhosBack

GuessWhosBack

The sun rises to insult me.
Jul 15, 2024
453
Oh man, I see.
There are churches but the most they can do is feed me
Churches typically have connections with shelters and other social organisations. If you discuss this with them, they might get in a word for you. The church itself might only be able to feed you, but the people there ought to know how to help.

Churches work closely with rehab centres and homeless people where I come from. Usually (I hear) they are pretty understanding. Of course this depends on the country and culture I suppose. It's worth a shot if you have no other options.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,815
We have been talking about this together and he actually offered to pay for me a hotel for a week or even speak to his mother so I could fly to his country, (Germany) to stay with his mom until I found a job.

The issue is we are long distance and have only video chatted and talked on the phone. We were supposed to finally meet in October.



Imagine if I showed up to a foreign country and he after all decided he wasnt interested. Then, there's the risk of being homeless in a foreign country.

Not only this but it would take longer to get a VISA & etc.

Insult added to injury:

I have a physically/mentally ill sister and autistic brother who also lives with me and our mother, (who purposefully chose not to pay rent out of spite) who are also at risk. My sister is my BFF and my boyfriend would not be able to pay for both of us.

I do feel awful about all of this but I can't think of any other way out without being a dick towards my siblings.

My sister is also planning to CTB but no idea if she will be successful and my brother is (maybe) trying to stay with our dad but our dad is wishy washy and keeps changing his mind. He only has room for our brother.

So I'm kinda fucked both ethically and factually.
You're trapped in a really difficult situation. Do I understand that right - you're gonna be homeless bc your mother stopped paying rent and it's not your personal fault? I do understand your concerns about your siblings. I also do understand your worries about traveling to another country for a boyfriend.

I can tell you moving to another country where I met my wife was the best decision I ever made in my life. However, there are also risks. You seem to have great chance but it als seems you would need a visa (which may be difficult depending on your nationality). You should think about your personal options bc it's your future!

This isn't an advice bc only you can decide for your own but think about your options and how serious it is with your bf to give this a a real chance!
 
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M

MrsNobody

nostalgic isolation
Feb 4, 2024
28
Oh man, I see.

Churches typically have connections with shelters and other social organisations. If you discuss this with them, they might get in a word for you. The church itself might only be able to feed you, but the people there ought to know how to help.

Churches work closely with rehab centres and homeless people where I come from. Usually (I hear) they are pretty understanding. Of course this depends on the country and culture I suppose. It's worth a shot if you have no other options.

You're trapped in a really difficult situation. Do I understand that right - you're gonna be homeless bc your mother stopped paying rent and it's not your personal fault? I do understand your concerns about your siblings. I also do understand your worries about traveling to another country for a boyfriend.

I can tell you moving to another country where I met my wife was the best decision I ever made in my life. However, there are also risks. You seem to have great chance but it als seems you would need a visa (which may be difficult depending on your nationality). You should think about your personal options bc it's your future!

This isn't an advice bc only you can decide for your own but think about your options and how serious it is with your bf to give this a a real chance!


I'm glad your relationship has worked out. That's amazing. <3 🫂 It's very risky.. and the VISA would take longer than I have. I'm American.

Yes, both parents are mentally ill & as a result all of my siblings are. My sister and I have applied to housing and have been working with a case manager, which has a long wait period but instead of of my mom caring or waiting she's purposefully chosen not to pay rent. (She also took some money from my brother for the rent, yet it's not paid, so she practically stole from him. )

She has money she can go to a hotel and be okay. She also said she's looking out for herself from now on so that's that. (And this all came from me telling her that we should respect each other's beliefs.)



She doesn't care about us all that much..left us when I was a kid and didn't return to "make things right" until after I was a full adult. I don't think my dad would allow my autistic brother to be out on the streets... I'm praying. Dad is usually the one who can save us but not this time.

I won't lie I am pretty hopeless but I will exhaust my resources with the churches. I am not thrown out yet.

I just ordered a rope that should be here before I'm thrown out. I know a spot I can hang in without getting caught. (hopefully.)

I've found my method if this is what I'm going to have to do.

Thanks guys for chatting & for the suggestions. I love this community. I wish you all the best. xx
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,815
I'm American.
US/Canadian American? That shouldn't be to difficult.

I'm sorry u have to live in such a toxic environment and you have to go through all this. We're here 4 u! :heart:🫂
 
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C

CatLvr

Enlightened
Aug 1, 2024
1,345
OMG, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't think of anything to add to what has already been suggested other than I hope you exhaust all your other remedies before ctb. I do understand your fear -- I would be terrified if I were in your position.

There is no hope your mother will change her mind and help you all??
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,565
That sounds really horrible, it's truly so cruel how people suffer so much in this existence all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes, I hope you eventually find what you search for.
 
B

brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,179
Look at board and lodges. It will be a shithole but at least it is shelter.
 

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