Yes, in my case peaceful, permanent non-existence is what I see as home, I see existence as a horrific mistake, it's tragic how existence disturbed the peace of nothingness in the first place and I believe death to simply be the return to that ideal state. I certainly don't belong in this cruel, repulsive world where there is endless potential for suffering, I'm not meant to exist as a conscious being, I'm only meant to be permanently unaware. I'm tired of being trapped in this dreadful and harmful existence, I really wish there's the option to just sleep eternally, it's hellish how we are denied the option of a guaranteed way to just die in peace.