
ilovecats
Empty Husk
- Feb 1, 2023
- 128
I'm not giving up on life. I just don't feel the need to study, work and trying to "recover" anymore. It's all for nothing. I'm certain than I will ctb. Not sure when or how, but I know I will. I'm not willing to do anything, as I know it's pointless and I would only end up more miserable. It really doesn't matter at all, so why bother? After I die, it would be like everything never existed to me anyway. I can't sleep. My head is a mess and everything I feel now is desperation, everything else feels "fuzzy". No happiness, no sadness, just the desire to end my life. I've said before that I don't want to act out of desperation but I feel like if I don't, I'll only suffer more. There's nothing pushing me to keep trying, no meaning behind our existence and no reason to keep living. I will just rot for now until I get the courage and resources to ctb.