Discussion Getting rid of stuff before you go

[thelostautistic]

Does anybody else feel overwhelmed with the amount of stuff you need/want to sort out before you CTB. I have lots of personal documents, devices, diaries that all need sorting or getting rid of and it's stressing me out. My mood is way too low to properly deal with all this. I'm not delaying my attempt. I just want things like this to be dealt with so someone else doesn't have to go through them because I wouldn't want that. I guess I'm just asking if anyone else is in the same boat and how you're dealing with it?

 

[Zardoz]

Same. I have a huge amount of junk and personal items, computers/devices etc.

I've made a Will and intend to provide a supporting Letter of Wishes (this is all under UK law) stating that I want the Executor of the estate (who are the solicitor/legal firm) to dispose of all my personal possessions and the contents of my apartment and not involve any next of kin / family.

Not because I don't want my next of kin to have the hassle of sorting through all my stuff, but because I don't want them going through all my personal stuff.
And because I can't be bothered sorting it all out myself first.

I've officially left my apartment contents to a local charity, who can take what they want, then the rest can be thrown in a skip for all I care. I will clean up my online/digital accounts and wipe devices, but that's it.

Other than finding a trusted friend/someone who's prepared to go through it all after you're gone, and naming them in a legally enforceable document (like a Will) then I guess the only other choice is to sort through it all yourself ahead of CTB. Otherwise any family might contest the situation and take control.

Are there companies/people you can pay to do this sort of thing? I haven't looked into it.

Dunno, it's a tricky one. I get your concern and feeling overwhelmed by it.

 

[vergi]

Does anybody else feel overwhelmed with the amount of stuff you need/want to sort out before you CTB. I have lots of personal documents, devices, diaries that all need sorting or getting rid of and it's stressing me out. My mood is way too low to properly deal with all this. I'm not delaying my attempt. I just want things like this to be dealt with so someone else doesn't have to go through them because I wouldn't want that. I guess I'm just asking if anyone else is in the same boat and how you're dealing with it?

I get very overwhelmed by it yeah, I tried to impulsively ctb a few weeks back by ODing on my prescriptions while I was extremely drunk and while doing so I remembered I should dispose of my personal stuff that I didn't want my family seeing, I ended up trying to split my phone in two but because I am weak physically I didn't manage to do so, I did break it though and after I ended up vomiting all over myself (surprise) the reality of what I had just done set in... the most annoying thing about the entire deal wasn't even the physical aftermath of downing a bunch of pills, it was the fact that I had to get all of my pills from the pharmacy again, and get a new phone, which was obviously expensive.. never try to ctb impulsively lmao

 

[thelostautistic]

Same. I have a huge amount of junk and personal items, computers/devices etc.

I've made a Will and intend to provide a supporting Letter of Wishes (this is all under UK law) stating that I want the Executor of the estate (who are the solicitor/legal firm) to dispose of all my personal possessions and the contents of my apartment and not involve any next of kin / family.

Thank you for sharing this. It's really helpful. I hate the idea of someone else going through my stuff so I'll have a look into these things

 

[westerly_merlin]

I got rid of loads of paper before my attempt, used a crosscut shredder - BTW small home shredders overheat after around 20 mins continuous use and you have to let them cool down again).

It was quite cathartic shredding paper and it really focussed me on what I was doing, it was very deliberate and nota spur of the moment thing.

My digital data is on an encrypted NAS (so not the cloud) and I have not shared access to that.

I spent a good few days finessing a note to my wife and one to my son and again there was a comfort in deliberately writing those to explain my reasons for CTB and that it was not their fault. I also left a list of usernames and passwords for the energy provider, central heating app, broadband etc.

The one thing I did wrong was to write a will but not get it witnessed, I don't think it would have been an issue but it might an 'in' for my siblings to make a claim on my estate and that is something I need to avoid at all costs. I have re-written the will again and will ask a couple of people at work who do not know of my previous attempt to witness me signing it (I don't want to set any alarm bells off by asking someone in the know to witness my last will and testament).

WM

 

[Zardoz]

Thank you for sharing this. It's really helpful. I hate the idea of someone else going through my stuff so I'll have a look into these things

Feel free to msg me if I can answer any questions about getting a Will written. I only have a limited experience of doing mine in the UK. I'm not a solicitor/laywer or anything.

I got rid of loads of paper before my attempt, used a crosscut shredder - BTW small home shredders overheat after around 20 mins continuous use and you have to let them cool down again).

It was quite cathartic shredding paper and it really focussed me on what I was doing, it was very deliberate and nota spur of the moment thing.

My digital data is on an encrypted NAS (so not the cloud) and I have not shared access to that.

I spent a good few days finessing a note to my wife and one to my son and again there was a comfort in deliberately writing those to explain my reasons for CTB and that it was not their fault. I also left a list of usernames and passwords for the energy provider, central heating app, broadband etc.

The one thing I did wrong was to write a will but not get it witnessed, I don't think it would have been an issue but it might an 'in' for my siblings to make a claim on my estate and that is something I need to avoid at all costs. I have re-written the will again and will ask a couple of people at work who do not know of my previous attempt to witness me signing it (I don't want to set any alarm bells off by asking someone in the know to witness my last will and testament).

WM

I only know about Wills in the UK, but apparently the Witnessing process not being done properly is a common reason for the Will being invalidated (if contested by family etc) and your eatate then passing to your next of kin. Which is not good if that's who we are trying to exclude lol.
I still have to get mine witnessed too. I'm thinking of getting a local solicitors to do it (presumably for a small fee), to avoid any doubt and to not have to involve friends etc (bit short of those...).

 

[J&L383]

Does anybody else feel overwhelmed with the amount of stuff you need/want to sort out before you CTB. I have lots of personal documents, devices, diaries that all need sorting or getting rid of and it's stressing me out. My mood is way too low to properly deal with all this. I'm not delaying my attempt. I just want things like this to be dealt with so someone else doesn't have to go through them because I wouldn't want that. I guess I'm just asking if anyone else is in the same boat and how you're dealing with it?

Yes

 

[westerly_merlin]

Feel free to msg me if I can answer any questions about getting a Will written. I only have a limited experience of doing mine in the UK. I'm not a solicitor/laywer or anything.


I only know about Wills in the UK, but apparently the Witnessing process not being done properly is a common reason for the Will being invalidated (if contested by family etc) and your eatate then passing to your next of kin. Which is not good if that's who we are trying to exclude lol.
I still have to get mine witnessed too. I'm thinking of getting a local solicitors to do it (presumably for a small fee), to avoid any doubt and to not have to involve friends etc (bit short of those...).

I really should get my will professionally done but there is always an excuse to put it off

 

[unluckysadness]

This is a huge problem for me. My apartment is very messy. I have a huge collection of records too. I'd like to sell them before I CTB, but it's takes times and energy. I have too many things. My will is written. I wish one of my brothers could sell them and give the money to my nephews (as I don't have kids or partner). But I'd like to sell them myself. Complicated when you're disabled...

 

[auto138491]

So, my thought in that is that if they paid enough attention to us while alive, we would not need to CTB, right? So dont worry about the papers. No one is going to read them. They will all possibly fall in the trash, unread. At least that's my theory. The clothes they will likely donate, and everything else is in the Will so someone will get them. End of thinking :)

 

[thelostautistic]

Feel free to msg me if I can answer any questions about getting a Will written. I only have a limited experience of doing mine in the UK. I'm not a solicitor/laywer or anything.

Thank you so much. I'm in the UK as well so I'd really appreciate any advice because I'm so overwhelmed by this. I don't know if I have the private message feature yet as I haven't been on the forum very long

 

[Zardoz]

Thank you so much. I'm in the UK as well so I'd really appreciate any advice because I'm so overwhelmed by this. I don't know if I have the private message feature yet as I haven't been on the forum very long

I messaged you.

 

[joshardy]

I kind of think ill just let someone else deal with it. Like once Im gone its not my problem anymore you know?

 

[Forveleth]

I have not as I am leaving all of my stuff behind. To be fair, I do have a partner that can take over my things, but I also do not have a will or a list of finances or anything. He will just have to deal with it when I am dead.