You are in the depressive ideation loop. I've been there. It's almost like an addiction. Can you say what's brought you to this state?
I drank heavily Friday night. After drinking alcohol I find I'm severely depressed for up to a week. Still, despite the consequences, I drink often.
I've been there before, it can feel a lot safer when you're wrapped up and hidden away from everything. I'd be there forever if I could. I hope it gets better though, that place really only feels safe, especially if the meds are going by the wayside.
Mmm, it is only a temporary comfort. I have responsibilities to tend to tomorrow and I will have to leave my bed. I hope I feel better in the morning.
Did you choose to stop taking the meds or are you out of meds? I'm sorry you are suffering. I haven't left my apartment since Friday, similarly haven't really gotten out bed except to use the bathroom.
I have 1/2 a month's supply. The only reason I haven't taken them is I have felt too weak to walk upstairs. I don't want to see the daylight, either. I've kept all the lights off in my bedroom.
I hope you find a good reason to get out of the apartment. :)
The reading about death thing didn't sound very comforting. Are you sure you're not giving yourself nightmares?
That's what I mean about enabling. Reading about suicide when I'm so vulnerable is comforting, in that I can feed my fantasy, but it's also driving the cycle.
Tonight I'll try eating a meal and picking up a book. And taking my goddamn medication.
