Getting fired is so humiliating and embrassing nobody around me gets it

[FireFox]

Older people around me say "getting fired is not the end of the world." These older people such as my grandmother who say this to me have never got fired from their jobs and stayed in the same jobs and workplaces all throughout their 20s. I I got fired from my first ever full time job at 25 years old and I am a fucking failure oh my god it is so embrassing. It is the end of the fucking world for me. I feel so alone right now. The shame is too much. It is all my fault I got fired which makes it worse. So many mistakes I made in my job, I rocked the boat a few times and I failed.

Getting fired is so embrassing because its associated with failure, incompetence and nothing good. This is what we are taught all our entire lives .When I was a teenager at school careers advisors came to the school holding multiple assemblies and workshops on getting a job, how to write a cv and do well in interviews. We were NEVER taught about how to deal with getting fired. Imagine out of all the hundreds and thousands of employees you are the one who gets fired and told you are not good enough.

Getting fired is pure isolation because right now I feel so alone everyone around me is working and here is me who can not hold a job. I thought I was going to be like everyone else who just went from one completed job to another with no issues. I did well at school and university but I fucked up at employment. Its so hard to cope with. Getting fired is a reminder of how I failed as an adult and failed badly.

I had a descent salary which is now gone and now I am just a burden on everyone. My confidence will never recover from this.

 

[AkaRed]

Hey, as someone having job struggles and having been on the verge of termination numerous times despite my best efforts- I feel you 100%. Being fired or in a shitty work situation, in general, is horrible, and I'm really sorry to hear things went the way they did. But it doesn't make you a failure, incompetent, or nothing good. Sometimes we get dealt a bad hand at certain places, and there are plenty of people much worse at their jobs out there. I know getting past this ordeal isn't easy, but know that you're not alone and I'm rooting for you ^^
I think you'll be able to find great success, even if it takes a little time, okay? Often reasons for termination aren't even entirely valid- a lot of workplaces suck like that. It's okay to acknowledge your emotions, but please try and get back up when you're ready. You've got this. And hey if you ever want to talk about shitty situations regarding work, PMs are always open.
<3

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I'm so sorry this happened, I can imagine it must be devastating. Give yourself time to come to terms with it though, hopefully you can get a much better job soon. I don't know the details, maybe you just weren't suited to that particular one? I remember my first day, I thought it had been really good and then they told me at the end the till was out by quite a bit and it was so humiliating, like I can't even count now or do a minimum wage job. I would've gotten shouted at if my boss had found out but luckily my supervisors covered for me. I had no idea I'd been short changing people, I was super careful after that but I always expected to screw up again because I'm so incompetent.

 

[FireFox]

Hey, as someone having job struggles and having been on the verge of termination numerous times despite my best efforts- I feel you 100%. Being fired or in a shitty work situation, in general, is horrible, and I'm really sorry to hear things went the way they did. But it doesn't make you a failure, incompetent, or nothing good. Sometimes we get dealt a bad hand at certain places, and there are plenty of people much worse at their jobs out there. I know getting past this ordeal isn't easy, but know that you're not alone and I'm rooting for you ^^
I think you'll be able to find great success, even if it takes a little time, okay? Often reasons for termination aren't even entirely valid- a lot of workplaces suck like that. It's okay to acknowledge your emotions, but please try and get back up when you're ready. You've got this. And hey if you ever want to talk about shitty situations regarding work, PMs are always open.
<3

@AkaRed Aww thanks I am rooting for you too

Next month is my 26th birthday and I feel like absolute shit because I failed to have my life together. Now I can't stop crying because it's finally gotten too much. This has been the worst fucking year ever one month after the next it is everything going wrong all the time.

I don't even plan things anymore because it has been such an awful year overall. I have never wanted a year to end so badly. I don't want to see another day anymore. 2023 is the worst year ever for me.

I'm so sorry this happened, I can imagine it must be devastating. Give yourself time to come to terms with it though, hopefully you can get a much better job soon. I don't know the details, maybe you just weren't suited to that particular one? I remember my first day, I thought it had been really good and then they told me at the end the till was out by quite a bit and it was so humiliating, like I can't even count now or do a minimum wage job. I would've gotten shouted at if my boss had found out but luckily my supervisors covered for me. I had no idea I'd been short changing people, I was super careful after that but I always expected to screw up again because I'm so incompetent.

@betternever2havbeen I messed up badly so much went wrong very quickly in a space of 3 months. It is all my fault

• I should have never criticised the entitled arsehole client for their unfair behaviour and demands. I was brutal in my honesty and I went too far. My brutal honesty shocked the entire department and the client too. I learnt from the incident and took responsibility for my actions but the management continued to criticise and penalise me over it even after incident was resolved. I was fired for not having high standards of customer service skills and delivery they expect.

• WFH I struggled to cope. I was ashamed to tell my family and friends I struggle with WFH because society says WFH is easy and everyone around me loves WFH. I hate it

• My work colleagues who I saw everyday were going behind my back to OUR boss to criticise me for updating them on case work. I had challenging cases and struggled with the bureaucracy. These colleagues never sat down with me to express their concerns over me not updating them.

• I was stupid for loving too much the attention the 55 year male colleague was giving me. All my life I have been the invisible girl then woman who guys always ignored and rejected. It was wonderful having a man shower me with attention and making me good about myself. I felt like a real woman for the 1st time and no longer a freak. The man turned out to be a cowardly two faced piece of shit . I was so stupid falling in love with 55 year old man. Once I found out he got back with his long term on/off partner I was absolutely hurt and distanced himself from me i was so hurt. I should have let it go. I really liked him

• I was a foolish for telling an older woman colleague friend in her 40s about how I was hurt I was about the man, i vented to her about the man and told her the plan i successfully carried out to find out about the mans being dishonest about his relationship he hid from me. After she promised me not to tell anyone she told the man our conversation. I only found out from a 3rd party what she did. I never did anything bad to her work. I don't understand why she did this. They were gossiping about me.

My final days at work was spent being absolutely humiliated as result of her gossip and the mans arsehole behaviour. Being humiliated by older people at work who should know better has been the worst.

I'm so sorry this happened, I can imagine it must be devastating. Give yourself time to come to terms with it though, hopefully you can get a much better job soon. I don't know the details, maybe you just weren't suited to that particular one? I remember my first day, I thought it had been really good and then they told me at the end the till was out by quite a bit and it was so humiliating, like I can't even count now or do a minimum wage job. I would've gotten shouted at if my boss had found out but luckily my supervisors covered for me. I had no idea I'd been short changing people, I was super careful after that but I always expected to screw up again because I'm so incompetent.

@betternever2havbeen I messed up badly so much went wrong very quickly in a space of 3 months. It is all my fault

• I should have never criticised the entitled arsehole client for their unfair behaviour and demands. I was brutal in my honesty and I went too far. My brutal honesty shocked the entire department and the client too. I learnt from the incident and took responsibility for my actions but the management continued to criticise and penalise me over it even after incident was resolved. I was fired for not having high standards of customer service skills and delivery they expect.

• WFH I struggled to cope. I was ashamed to tell my family and friends I struggle with WFH because society says WFH is easy and everyone around me loves WFH. I hate WFH.

• My work colleagues who I saw everyday were going behind my back to OUR boss to criticise me for updating them on case work. I had challenging cases and struggled with the bureaucracy. These colleagues never sat down with me to express their concerns over me not updating them.

• I was stupid for loving too much the attention the 55 year male colleague was giving me. All my life I have been the invisible girl then woman who guys always ignored and rejected. It was wonderful having a man shower me with attention and making me good about myself. I felt like a real woman for the 1st time and no longer a freak. The man turned out to be a cowardly two faced piece of shit . I was so stupid falling in love with 55 year old man. Once I found out he got back with his long term on/off partner I was absolutely hurt and distanced himself from me i was so hurt. I should have let it go. I really liked him

• I was a foolish for telling an older woman colleague friend in her 40s about how I was hurt I was about the man, i vented to her about the man and told her the plan i successfully carried out to find out about the mans relationship he hid from me. After she promised me not to tell anyone she told the man our conversation. I only found out from a 3rd party what she did. I never did anything bad to her work. I don't understand why she did this. They were gossiping about me.

My final days at work was spent being absolutely humiliated as result of her gossip and the mans arsehole behaviour. Being humiliated by older people at work who should know better has been the worst. I was stupid.

 

[AkaRed]

@AkaRed Aww thanks I am rooting for you too

Next month is my 26th birthday and I feel like absolute shit because I failed to have my life together. Now I can't stop crying because it's finally gotten too much. This has been the worst fucking year ever one month after the next it is everything going wrong all the time.

I don't even plan things anymore because it has been such an awful year overall. I have never wanted a year to end so badly. I don't want to see another day anymore. 2023 is the worst year ever for me.

If I've learned anything, you have far but failed in life. You could be double your age, and it's okay. I've got someone who's your age too and he was literally homeless but is getting back on his feet. Don't let yourself quit just yet ^^ You have so much more to give.
<3

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't want to patronize you because I can imagine how awful and humiliating this feels- so- I'm not trying to undermine how serious it feels to you. That said- I don't think this makes you a complete failure. You made some mistakes at your job- as we all do. You did your best to rectify them and learn by them but it sounds like your employer wouldn't let them go- some employers are like this- not all. Part of the failure is on them though surely? If they had told you what to do and what not to do in front of a client- you would have I'm sure. I think so many companies just chuck people in at the deep end and expect them to swim. So- you overstepped a boundary and accidentally insulted someone. Who hasn't done that? The business with the older guy was really unfortunate but again- it's VERY hard to control. It's just really sad all these people ended up the way they did.

Honestly though- it's going to be up to you whether this now defines you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the same with all of us I guess. Have you been applying for other jobs? Has there been any interest- or- are you already feeling that this is impacting your future prospects? I guess you won't know what kind of reference they are going to give you. I don't really know what the best strategy would be. Maybe to be as honest as possible with future employers without sounding petty- that you became romantically involved with someone and that things became very difficult at work when the relationship broke down. I suspect that does actually happen quite a bit.

I do get your frustration with your family. I think I'm starting to realise though- that it's what families tend to do... It can feel pretty unsupportive and insensitive but my Dad is the same- he will always force the positive on me. Perhaps to some degree- they're right. If we tell ourselves we have now failed at life- I guess there's a chance we won't even try anymore- so- we will actually 'fail.' I guess they really just mean- keep trying but I know how difficult that is and I'm sorry.

 

[Ambivalent1]

I was notified that I was fired by holding up the line to clock in because the machine wouldn't let me.

 

[FireFox]

I don't want to patronize you because I can imagine how awful and humiliating this feels- so- I'm not trying to undermine how serious it feels to you. That said- I don't think this makes you a complete failure. You made some mistakes at your job- as we all do. You did your best to rectify them and learn by them but it sounds like your employer wouldn't let them go- some employers are like this- not all. Part of the failure is on them though surely? If they had told you what to do and what not to do in front of a client- you would have I'm sure. I think so many companies just chuck people in at the deep end and expect them to swim. So- you overstepped a boundary and accidentally insulted someone. Who hasn't done that? The business with the older guy was really unfortunate but again- it's VERY hard to control. It's just really sad all these people ended up the way they did.

Honestly though- it's going to be up to you whether this now defines you. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the same with all of us I guess. Have you been applying for other jobs? Has there been any interest- or- are you already feeling that this is impacting your future prospects? I guess you won't know what kind of reference they are going to give you. I don't really know what the best strategy would be. Maybe to be as honest as possible with future employers without sounding petty- that you became romantically involved with someone and that things became very difficult at work when the relationship broke down. I suspect that does actually happen quite a bit.

I do get your frustration with your family. I think I'm starting to realise though- that it's what families tend to do... It can feel pretty unsupportive and insensitive but my Dad is the same- he will always force the positive on me. Perhaps to some degree- they're right. If we tell ourselves we have now failed at life- I guess there's a chance we won't even try anymore- so- we will actually 'fail.' I guess they really just mean- keep trying but I know how difficult that is and I'm sorry.

@Forever Sleep it was not a great a place to work and I struggled in the role. My main reason for getting fired was due to underperforming. The cases I worked on where just complex and I couldn't navigate the bureaucracy. I struggled to keep up with everyone. Full WFH made it even more challenging.

I am not worried about references because my boss who fired me is losing his position because of the company is going through a merger with lots of job losses to be expected especially in the department I worked in. Before I got fired in an office meeting he mentioned he won't be around that much and how our new leaders will be looking after us. The companies HR department only gives out basic references just confirming employment dates.

I do volunteer work a lot so getting character references will not be an issue. For me it just the shame of being fired.

I think something is the end of the world if things do not work out unfortunately my way of thinking is all or nothing. Just seeing people I grew up with is doing better than me I feel like the world's biggest loser. I can't stop crying I will 26 next month and I am a loser.

Woman I grew up with are getting married, moving in boyfriends, having careers and here is me who cant hold a job, failed to get a man and nothing is going right.

I have struggled with overthinking all throughout my life even the most irrational thoughts feel so real.

 

[FireFox]

I was notified that I was fired by holding up the line to clock in because the machine wouldn't let me.

@Ambivalent1 Awww sorry that happened.

 

[Forever Sleep]

@Forever Sleep it was not a great a place to work and I struggled in the role. My main reason for getting fired was due to underperforming. The cases I worked on where just complex and I couldn't navigate the bureaucracy. I struggled to keep up with everyone. Full WFH made it even more challenging.

I am not worried about references because my boss who fired me is losing his position because of the company is going through a merger with lots of job losses to be expected especially in the department I worked in. Before I got fired in an office meeting he mentioned he won't be around that much and how our new leaders will be looking after us. The companies HR department only gives out basic references just confirming employment dates.

I do volunteer work a lot so getting character references will not be an issue. For me it just the shame of being fired.

I think something is the end of the world if things do not work out unfortunately my way of thinking is all or nothing. Just seeing people I grew up with is doing better than me I feel like the world's biggest loser. I can't stop crying I will 26 next month and I am a loser.

Woman I grew up with are getting married, moving in boyfriends, having careers and here is me who cant hold a job, failed to get a man and nothing is going right.

I have struggled with overthinking all throughout my life even the most irrational thoughts feel so real.

I really relate to you. I am so similar- I tend to catastrophize and worry about everything. It's so hard to change who we are- I know.

I think social media is absolutely terrible for us. Honestly, asides from Linkedin (which is sometimes useful for finding work) and the odd link a friend sends me from Instagram- I try to avoid it all together. Have you ever tried taking a break from it? I just think it's hard not to compare ourselves to others and people rarely post how badly their lives are going. I don't know- I just know it used to make me feel worse.

That firm sounded very cruel to me. If they knew redundancies in your department were on the horizon- I think they should have waited for that. I can imagine how much it has affected you.

I know it's hard but, please don't feel so ashamed that you struggled in the job. It truly sounded like it wasn't all your fault. It really didn't sound like it was a good place to work.

I understand that things have been really tough. I hope that, whatever you decide to do, you can make peace with it. If you do decide to hang on, I hope you find a much better place to work that shows you what a snake pit the first place was. (It sounded that way anyhow...)