My plan is just to go into like I am testing it out. I'm going to get into position and then allow my nerves to calm down and then repeat to myself saying it will be ok and I can do this. Kinda be like my own cheerleader reminding myself that my suffering will be over and whatever is after this , I will never know. It's either I overcome this SI and do it or keep trying to live this lonely, sad life of just existing.