Sadocan
Member
- Oct 23, 2025
- 11
every time I'm amazed at how things are different when I compare myself to other people. and by "compare", i'm not talking about things like success, money or anything like that, i just observe that it's there's just something that all the people around me have that I don't. this thought has occured to me countless times, and it's always triggered by some experiences that separate me from everyone else. the last time something that reminded me of the abysmal gap between me and a normal person was yesterday. before that, I wasn't thinking of suicide for like, 2-3 entire weeks. but now this thought has entered my life again.
since that feeling that hit me like a truck, i've been doubting myself. and my beliefs. if this keeps up, i believe that my psyche will become so fragile that if someone comes up to me and tells me the world is flat, i would presumably believe them, since *they're* the human, and i'm not.
i sometimes wonder what happens after death. i shiver at the thought that there is a heaven, or a hell, where there's people/souls/ghosts, whatever, who will most certainly bond and socialize between themselves over their likeness and i'll be there on the corner, alone, again. i would much rather just dissapear.
since that feeling that hit me like a truck, i've been doubting myself. and my beliefs. if this keeps up, i believe that my psyche will become so fragile that if someone comes up to me and tells me the world is flat, i would presumably believe them, since *they're* the human, and i'm not.
i sometimes wonder what happens after death. i shiver at the thought that there is a heaven, or a hell, where there's people/souls/ghosts, whatever, who will most certainly bond and socialize between themselves over their likeness and i'll be there on the corner, alone, again. i would much rather just dissapear.
