Venting Gender, sexuality and suicide

[nmnxastia]

Hi. First post. Been on this site for a while. Don't know where to start.
Been on/off depressed for four years and recently are having struggles with my gender after taking ages to come to terms with my sexuality. I thought I was a gay man. Now I've been leaning further and further towards thinking I'm transfem, but I just don't know, and it's taking a toll on me. Along with everything else, life's become so shit recently. I've fallen behind with my studies, been forced to go see a psychologist + psychiatrist, trying to quit sh + alcohol abuse and a whole lot of other stuff.

Does anyone have any advice on coming to terms with their gender? The college I go to is a strict Catholic all boys college so the environment isn't pretty, and I'm afraid that the longer I leave this unresolved, the harder it will be to recover and the more and more likely I am to CTB – if I can find where to get SN in Australia.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Much love xx

 

[Viranamari]

Gender dysorphia is an extremely adverse thing. On top of that, you're in a Catholic school. Unfortunately, one cannot choose their sexuality or gender. I'm not sure if someone can just change their sexuality. Personally I don't have any good advice as I'm not too well versed in sexualities, genders or romance in general. Either way, I wish you the best.

 

[CrystalDog69]

For me it has mostly been time. When I first starting to question my gender, it was hard to accept it and I struggled with imposter syndrome. It's been over a year and it's become much easier. There are lots of YouTubers who have helped me feel accepted(mostly One Topic At a Time).

 

[CellarBoy]

It sounds like a really tough situation. I, myself, have gender dysphoria, and I understand what it's like to not know what you are. You'll figure it out one day, soon enough. Once you do, you can plan when to end your life, but focus on figuring out what you are for now. I'm here to talk to you if you need it.

 

[nmnxastia]

It sounds like a really tough situation. I, myself, have gender dysphoria, and I understand what it's like to not know what you are. You'll figure it out one day, soon enough. Once you do, you can plan when to end your life, but focus on figuring out what you are for now. I'm here to talk to you if you need it.

Would you say there's an imperative on figuring it out before I can move on? How can I speed up this process, if there's any way that I can?

 

[CellarBoy]

Would you say there's an imperative on figuring it out before I can move on? How can I speed up this process, if there's any way that I can?

There isn't really a way of speeding it up, you just have to go with the flow.

 

[iwantrest]

I don't have much wisdom to add as my personal circumstances are different but I wanted to say that I feel for you. I do believe that there is hope if we can find the right situation in life for each of us, where we are accepted and loved. Finding that is hard though.

 

[BasqueClown]

I'm a cis woman (If you're not familiar with the term that means I was born as female and identify as female), so I know the struggles of trans women personally.
FIrst, I recommend to look some psychotherapy or psychiatry outside your all boys college. Then COmpare your thoughts and feelings and if you are comfortable with the idea to make a life as a woman (whatever if you decide to make Hormone Replacement Therapy or surgery), then you're a trans woman and you are valid.
Also you don't have to stay in the binary: or being a male or being a trans female. You can also being be a non binary person, whatever your pronouns, gender expression and social behaivor.
If you want to talk with someone in private I'm available. My english isn't in a c1 level but I consider myself a solid B1