Discussion GAME OVER MISTAKE

[Extremly kind <3]

Hi all,

What is the "game over" mistake you have done making you resort to considering CTB..?

 

[LogicalConclusion]

Being born seems to sum it up for me

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Being born seems to sum it up for me

Likewise I wish I was not born, do you mind elaborating why ?

 

[jake3d]

Coming back in this shithole of a country instead of staying to live and work in the UK when i had the opportunity, in 2015.

But the last straw was damaging my ears and nerves with a firecracker at close range, this new year's.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

Likewise I wish I was not born, do you mind elaborating why ?

My parents had no business having children, got divorced, my mom got remarried, I got abused by him as well as by everyone else in the family. Everything else that followed, well...I see it all as just cause and effect. I've done my best to "move on" and "recover" or whatever, but no one seems able to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing, just that they can't help me, need to refer to someone else. I'm tired of this stupid ride and I wanna get off. Tbh, I beat my goal, didn't think I'd make it to 16 let alone 26. And no one will honestly be surprised. This is the result of a life of trauma and mental illness.

 

[Kjo]

Extremely kind, what was yours?

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Extremely kind, what was yours?

Abusive superior and toxic work environment which have pushed me to look for another opportunities, I found an opportunity with around 70% salary increase but ended up with the worst manager ever, I have lost all my efforts due to this decision, I am in debt and if I dont exit soon I'll be tortured by the credit collectors and I'll end up in jail, my life before that event used to be extremly happy, due to this mistake I am fucked up for life !!!!

 

[LaBrava]

Abusive superior and toxic work environment which have pushed me to look for another opportunities, I found an opportunity with around 70% salary increase but ended up with the worst manager ever, I have lost all my efforts due to this decision, I am in debt and if I dont exit soon I'll be tortured by the credit collectors and I'll end up in jail, my life before that event used to be extremly happy, due to this mistake I am fucked up for life !!!!

I'm similar. Left a job where I was certain to be made redundant (which would at least have given me some redundancy pay off) to go to what looked like an okay job but turned out to be a bullying hell hole. Had to leave, now in a minimum wage retail job, also hellish bullying. I'm finished at this point.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

I'm similar. Left a job where I was certain to be made redundant (which would at least have given me some redundancy pay off) to go to what looked like an okay job but turned out to be a bullying hell hole. Had to leave, now in a minimum wage retail job, also hellish bullying. I'm finished at this point.

Ugh, retail is the worst, that was one of the worst experiences of my life. If I hadn't moved and gotten approved for disability, I would've ctb even sooner. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, both of you

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Coming back in this shithole of a country instead of staying to live and work in the UK when i had the opportunity, in 2015.

But the last straw was damaging my ears and nerves with a firecracker at close range, this new year's.

You lost your hearing....?

 

[jake3d]

Nah, the opposite happened: I have become extremely sensitive to any noise and have a criminal headache that never goes away, and any noise makes it worse. I wear earplugs all the time and everything's still painfully loud. And i used to love loud music.

 

[Slenderman]

Honestly I can't say there was a specific mistake that caused me to consider CTB. I fucking freak out so bad at every little mistake and inconvenience so everything in my mind has only one solution: suicide. That's why I never tried killing myself yet, I don't want it to be something impulsive and dumb that I regret the minute I start.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Coming back in this shithole of a country instead of staying to live and work in the UK when i had the opportunity, in 2015.

But the last straw was damaging my ears and nerves with a firecracker at close range, this new year's.

What made you comeback...?

 

[jake3d]

Well i had a return ticket, i was just on leave, came back to work.

I didn't think too much of the opportunity presented by the guy who kindly let me stay in his house there. He could have given me housing AND work.

Then i had another thought at going there in 2016, but it came after a period of me screwing things up, and my mother thought i'd better not make impulsive decisions like that, because "i need to recover". I wish i had ignored her and boarded my flight, because that was my ticket to a good and less stressful life.

 

[Dartz]

Too many to count. Birth ranks pretty high

 

[whyidon'tknow]

letting over half my life go w/o dealing with my severe depression and suicidal ideation

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Too many to count. Birth ranks pretty high

Do you mind elaborating...?

 

[Bandzbandz]

Should've jumped the bridge when I had the chance. Would've saved me a lot of time and effort. SI is terrible.

 

[Dartz]

Do you mind elaborating...?

That'd take way too long with my lifelong cavalcade of fuck ups

 

[Extremly kind <3]

That'd take way too long with my lifelong cavalcade of fuck ups

So what is your plan..?

 

[Broken Chimera]

Being born is one, not following through when I felt bad about the people I would leave behind, even though they don't care about me. I won't make that mistake the next time.

 

[Dartz]

So what is your plan..?

Currently going for SN method

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Currently going for SN method

How to obtain it...?

 

[jake3d]

SN (Sodium Nitrite) can be bought from ebay or amazon, it's legal in most countries as it is a meat preservative. Should pass thru customs no problem.

 

[Meretlein]

Telling my family that I self harmed. I dug my own grave.

 

[Dead beat dad]

Hi all,

What is the "game over" mistake you have done making you resort to considering CTB..?

There is no singular event for me. It's more a case of rot setting in. Working away in the background and realising it and how severe it is when it is too late.
Lots of mistakes built of the foundations of other mistakes, conceived from a place of neglect against a backdrop of mental illness.
Really happy I replied to this thread, honestly it's been cathartic, feeling really good about things now...
DBD

Telling my family that I self harmed. I dug my own grave.

I feel that brother

 

[not_a_robot]

SN (Sodium Nitrite) can be bought from ebay or amazon, it's legal in most countries as it is a meat preservative. Should pass thru customs no problem.

lol.
"Sir, why do you have this powder?"

"---I'm, uhhh...gonna...use it to, um, preserve some...meat... it's legal!"

 

[Dartz]

How to obtain it...?

If you want to look up the SN method there's a megathread for it. See the first post for info:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/sn-megathread.1156/

It's legal in most places and easy to get. Read the thread and the PPeH for specific details.

 

[KnightOfEnceladus]

Being born, full stop.

 

[Extremly kind <3]

Being born, full stop.

Can you please share at least one of the unfortunate events....?

Telling my family that I self harmed. I dug my own grave.

What happened...?