I think once lock down is over I might book a hotel and try again. I think I only failed because I was able to stand up because my vision did start going a bit black. I think I was just too distressed when I tried and that's why I failed.
My 'family' know I tried to jump off a cliff as the police informed them and I was sectioned. Hospital kicked me out after a day even tho they knew I was homeless and had nowhere to go. I then stayed at a hotel. I was literally left alone with no support or concern from anyone apart from the odd text from an acquaintance or two. After a week I tried to hang myself. No one knows I tried to hang myself. It doesn't even occur to anyone that I'm still very suicidal. I've been left alone completely. No one sees me, I can't wait to be dead.
I failed because I'm all over the place and didn't think it through. I couldn't pass out I was hoping it would be painless but I think I just need to accept that I will die in agony, better than staying on this planet much longer. I was nearly there I think because I was somewhat fading and I couldn't breathe.
I'm also very dissociated I nearly caused a RTA because I'm so confused and spaced out.
