Venting Fuck. This. Shit.

[StolenLife]

I am so sick and tired. I went to my Uni town to study and now I can't study because of insomnia. Even here it doesn't feel like home. Where the hell is my home??? I am lonely here but I cannot find friends or a partner because I look 40 at 23 due to constant stress for the last few years and also due to my depressed and frankly awful personality and trauma. I picked this career, among other things, to be able to provide for my family and have a decent housing situation and it came to bite me in the ass. I do not understand a single thing in biochemistry(only one subject), and yet there's no alternative career. No matter what I try, I cannot get a good ending of my life, I feel like I'm cursed. I cannot even retreat into fictional works anymore because fictional characters have romantic relationships which I cannot have due to trauma and things I wrote earlier. Someone kill me please God kill me I shouldn't have been a coward I should have finished the business and jumped off a bridge way back in october.

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly does sound so tiring what you have to go through, it's very much understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering that existing brings. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[unnormal9]

Hell yeah.

 

[Pluto]

This really sucks. :( Do they offer any sort of mental health support there?

 

[StolenLife]

This really sucks. :( Do they offer any sort of mental health support there?

They do but the mental hospital in my Uni town was an awful experience. Damn, that bridge is here nearby and it is so tempting right now. If only I wasn't such a SI-stricken coward.

 

[unnormal9]

They do but the mental hospital in my Uni town was an awful experience. Damn, that bridge is here nearby and it is so tempting right now. If only I wasn't such a SI-stricken coward.

They all are, not just the one.

 

[Pluto]

When I went to university, they had a psychologist onsite. I agree that mental hospitals are a last resort, if that.

Many people at university have led pretty sheltered lives, so it's very hard to connect socially with them in this state. In any case, more severe situations might require medication. A doctor might be able to prescribe something for the insomnia at the very least.

Sending you cat hugs!