Venting Fuck life. My girlfriend just ignores me most of the day

[jodes2]

I wish I was in a relationship with someone who gave more of a shit. She moans every time I ask her for a cuddle or attention. She would rather do her own thing and pretend like I don't exist. I hate this existence. She gets up really late and goes to bed really late so there isn't that much time left to spend together. But she's more than fucking happy spending it on anything but me. Gaming. Lots and lots of gaming. Social media. Lots and lots of scrolling. She doesn't like it when I try to join in. And she spends a lot of time talking to her friends. Why the fuck doesn't she give a shit about me?

What am I to her? Just a fucking fashion accessory or something? A slave that makes her 1000 cups of tea a year? Getting nothing back? Unfortunately I'm stuck in this relationship. We've been together 10 years and I live at her place, can't get a place of my own. I don't want to feel lonely. If we separated I'd probably have trouble finding someone else. We met in a psychiatric hospital of all places. Before her I was single for years and years, despite being on a number of dating sites. I didn't think I'd end up being ignored like this. To start with she spent loads of time with me and always did things with me. Now it's just fucking criticisms all the time and "can I have a tea, can I have a tea, can you do this, can you do that". Fuck my life, this isn't what a signed up for.

I drove her somewhere earlier and in the 7 minute drive she must have complained 5 times about my driving. Drive your fucking self if you don't like my driving. 35mpg in a 30 is too fast? Fuck off. It was the same speed as the rest of the traffic. I'm not fucking endangering you, hon. I've driven like this for 25 years just fucking fine. Be grateful I'm not doing 30mph+ over the speed limit like I used to. I didn't even crash then.

She says she loves me but she doesn't show it

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'm sorry this is happening. Have you tried really sitting down with her to talk about how you feel? How does she respond?

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry this is happening. Have you tried really sitting down with her to talk about how you feel? How does she respond?

Yeah thanks, I have unfortunately and she's really stubborn. She never sees my point of view and always thinks she's in the right. We speak to my dad a lot and he agreed with me about the driving, but not about the lack of attention. She let the driving thing go for the moment but I don't think she's willing to try to think differently. She's so incredibly stubborn about everything. She does give me cuddles sometimes but very begrudgingly, and not without criticisms and negativity. She doesn't seem to care how she makes me feel, and is quite selfish about her own priorities

 

[thebusislatetonight]

It almost seems like she's taking you and you being around for granted. If it were me I'd try to have a brutally honest conversation with them. Because otherwise, aren't you getting more and more misery out of the relationship? I mean, if we're on this forum, then most likely we're miserable by ourselves. Other people only tend to compound it. Of course it's not that simplistic, but you could really consider if this relationship is giving you what you need and want. Because if it isn't, and you've tried to make it work but your partner doesn't want to put in any effort, then that pretty much gives you an answer. It's a difficult situation to be in, to be honest. And it's so hard to navigate. I hope you're able to cope with it the way you deem fit. Always here if you'd like to talk more. Hugs.

 

[jodes2]

It almost seems like she's taking you and you being around for granted. If it were me I'd try to have a brutally honest conversation with them. Because otherwise, aren't you getting more and more misery out of the relationship? I mean, if we're on this forum, then most likely we're miserable by ourselves. Other people only tend to compound it. Of course it's not that simplistic, but you could really consider if this relationship is giving you what you need and want. Because if it isn't, and you've tried to make it work but your partner doesn't want to put in any effort, then that pretty much gives you an answer. It's a difficult situation to be in, to be honest. And it's so hard to navigate. I hope you're able to cope with it the way you deem fit. Always here if you'd like to talk more. Hugs.

Thank you

 

[WellDefinedChin]

This is shocking reminiscent of a past relationship I had. Not as dire as your situation however. I'll share.
Before I became completely insane, I had my first ever relationship with a girl I met at a nightclub, her name was Chloe. The interest was there, so unsurprisingly she accepted my advances, and things were great for me that's all I can say concretely. Around 12 weeks later however something changed. I speculate what it might be when documenting my history, but that is not important. The effects were her becoming distant and avoidant, and when I did spend time with her, spontaneously she would become hostile like I had peed in her morning coffee and she noticed or something. Blame it on my inexperience, but I was complicit in enabling this behavior for another 3 weeks. It then hit me that she no longer found me attractive, so we tacitly break up, and it is later revealed to me she was cheating on me by her friends at a very awkward birthday party.
I wanted to divulge and provide examples, but it's been so long, I can't remember, and my diaries don't go that far back.

It sounds like you are dependent on this person. Try not to kick the hornets nest, poke at it instead. But you can't make somebody like you, and, dispute me not knowing you, I know it isn't your fault for how you describe them treating you.
Do you see yourself able to find somebody who appreciates your company in the future? This is not a satisfactory relationship for you or likely for her either. The mention you met in a psychiatric hospital does not bode well.

 

[hungry_ghost]

I know you feel stuck due to having nowhere else to go, but nothing is worse than staying in a relationship where you feel unwanted and unloved.

It either ends in a blow-out where she'll eventually kick you out, or you'll have a nervous breakdown, or both.