Venting Fuck I’m so nervous

[ljknljnlkjn]

I keep going back and forth between taking a step towards planning my CTB and then backing off.

I'm thinking of the consequences of an SN order being discovered if I change my mind about CTB.

I'm nervous about the consequences of my CTB to everyone around me. I'd be hurting so many people, but I'm hurting myself and I just don't know what to do. Fucking hell.. this is so painful guys this is so painful.

 

[DT2007]

I hear you. I got cbt material at home, researched methods and all that. On some situations I feel like - tonight is the night and I'll take the step and ctb. But at other moments all the possible consequences come to mind. It really really horrible.

 

[ljknljnlkjn]

I'm so angry at this world and at myself as well. Thinking of the pain I'm going to cause my mom when she gets news, it's so cruel. It's such a cruel world. I can't believe I'd be contributing to its cruelness but the price of not doing so is too high for me.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be dreadful feeling trapped in that situation, existence truly is just an endless cycle of suffering which is why I wish people wouldn't bring life here in the first place. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[Worndown]

This is realistically the most difficult action you will ever take. It is hard. Do not think less of yourself because you cannot do it on demand.