Venting Fuck humans

[Sleepycat]

At this point humans aren't even real to me. They are just fucking fake ass walking trash like npcs. Useless fucking creatures all of us. Someone recently told me "everyone is going through their own shit. I just found out my dad was sick and I lost my camper driving recklessly to go to him."
I said. Sorry bout your dad and camper. But really I was screaming at my phone that I could not give less fucks if her whole fucking family died burning and shoved off a fucking cliff. Or fucking tortured to death in front of her before whoever took her out too. I don't give a singular flying damn mother fuck.
At this point the family I love, if they died, I'm not sure id give a fuck at all. Barely remember to call my mom, when I do she barely answers. Call my dad but have to keep. myself. And then my sister... She's the one who gets all of it and I hate that too. I hate this world and filthy fucking human plague. I will be at my head in with my fists until I'm a fucking vegetable if I can't properly fucking kill myself from fucking cowardice. And it's already started ticking in. Slurred words. Wrong words, mixed words, effected balance, mood, behavioral issues increasing, and I look like I get beat regularly cuz the bruises on my face. I hate this fucking place! And everyone else feels the same, they just fucking lie to themselves and tell me I'm just wrong and shouldn't feel that way. Fucking useless cunts.

 

[Linda]

At this point humans aren't even real to me. They are just fucking fake ass walking trash like npcs. Useless fucking creatures all of us. Someone recently told me "everyone is going through their own shit. I just found out my dad was sick and I lost my camper driving recklessly to go to him."
I said. Sorry bout your dad and camper. But really I was screaming at my phone that I could not give less fucks if her whole fucking family died burning and shoved off a fucking cliff. Or fucking tortured to death in front of her before whoever took her out too. I don't give a singular flying damn mother fuck.
At this point the family I love, if they died, I'm not sure id give a fuck at all. Barely remember to call my mom, when I do she barely answers. Call my dad but have to keep. myself. And then my sister... She's the one who gets all of it and I hate that too. I hate this world and filthy fucking human plague. I will be at my head in with my fists until I'm a fucking vegetable if I can't properly fucking kill myself from fucking cowardice. And it's already started ticking in. Slurred words. Wrong words, mixed words, effected balance, mood, behavioral issues increasing, and I look like I get beat regularly cuz the bruises on my face. I hate this fucking place! And everyone else feels the same, they just fucking lie to themselves and tell me I'm just wrong and shouldn't feel that way. Fucking useless cunts.

Calm down. There are lots of reasons for wanting to leave this world, but the topic is best considered in a calm, rational, unemotional light. The reason is twofold. (1) You are more likely to make the correct choice between ctb and continuing to exist. (2) If you do decide to ctb, and want it to succeed, you need to plan it properly, and you won't plan it properly if you are very emotional.
I'm not all that enthusiastic about Homo sapiens either, but I don't find it helpful to get emotional about it.
Try to evaluate your situation, calmly and rationally. (Are there some practical actions you can take to improve your situation?) Then decide what to do next. Then do it.

 

[Mirrory Me]

Did you beat yourself up? Sounds like you are under a lot of stress and no support currently. People are actually real.

 

[Sleepycat]

Calm down. There are lots of reasons for wanting to leave this world, but the topic is best considered in a calm, rational, unemotional light. The reason is twofold. (1) You are more likely to make the correct choice between ctb and continuing to exist. (2) If you do decide to ctb, and want it to succeed, you need to plan it properly, and you won't plan it properly if you are very emotional.
I'm not all that enthusiastic about Homo sapiens either, but I don't find it helpful to get emotional about it.
Try to evaluate your situation, calmly and rationally. (Are there some practical actions you can take to improve your situation?) Then decide what to do next. Then do it.

I first tried at ten. I was born hating this world and humans. And it's only gotten worse as I continue to fail and chicken out of fucking leaving. No. I don't care to plan shit. I have zero give a fuck if I make it impulsively. I pray to not wake up every day or that someone walks up and shoots me in the back of the head for no reason when I'm not looking. Or like today my brakes failed on the wrong part of the fucking road else I could be bleeding out at the bottom of a fucking mountain right now. No. I'm not concerned with anything you just said after 40 years of hating life. I'd consider impulsively succeeding a huge fucking win.

 

[Linda]

OK, so you have big problems, and you also feel that nobody cares about you. (Incidentally, would I be spending my time typing this if I didn't care? I have a vast amount of work waiting to be done, but here I am sitting at this keyboard, struggling to find a way to be helpful.)
You probably weren't born feeling about life the way you feel now. Something must have happened, early in your life, to influence your feelings. Do you have any idea what it was? If you can figure out what happened, that might help you start to deal with it.
Hating your life but doing nothing to improve it isn't going to achieve anything.
Wanting to be dead but doing nothing about it isn't going to achieve anything.
Like I already said, I think you need to decide which way forward you prefer, and then go that route. For either route, some planning would increase your chance of success.
Whatever you decide, people on this site will do their best to try to support you. You are not alone.
Good luck.

 

[cloud99]

At this point humans aren't even real to me. They are just fucking fake ass walking trash like npcs. Useless fucking creatures all of us. Someone recently told me "everyone is going through their own shit. I just found out my dad was sick and I lost my camper driving recklessly to go to him."
I said. Sorry bout your dad and camper. But really I was screaming at my phone that I could not give less fucks if her whole fucking family died burning and shoved off a fucking cliff. Or fucking tortured to death in front of her before whoever took her out too. I don't give a singular flying damn mother fuck.
At this point the family I love, if they died, I'm not sure id give a fuck at all. Barely remember to call my mom, when I do she barely answers. Call my dad but have to keep. myself. And then my sister... She's the one who gets all of it and I hate that too. I hate this world and filthy fucking human plague. I will be at my head in with my fists until I'm a fucking vegetable if I can't properly fucking kill myself from fucking cowardice. And it's already started ticking in. Slurred words. Wrong words, mixed words, effected balance, mood, behavioral issues increasing, and I look like I get beat regularly cuz the bruises on my face. I hate this fucking place! And everyone else feels the same, they just fucking lie to themselves and tell me I'm just wrong and shouldn't feel that way. Fucking useless cunts.

I feel you sleepycat. Some of these people cannot be real.