Venting Frustrated about staying alive for others

[Gloomislost]

I was admitted into a mental hospital AGAIN! This time a different place and it had more groups and stuff, but that's besides the point.
I'm alive when I don't want to be and everyone is so happy that I'm here "getting better" I'm honestly just lying to them and hoping I can trick my brain into believing it.
I don't know what to really do in the future. I'll probably graduate high school (I'm 18 and in high school because I'm a dumb mf) and go to college. Maybe I'll ctb then? Or maybe I'll finally feel great enough to keep going.

Anyways! I hate living for other people!!! I'm suffering and I don't even know why!!!! MY BRAIN IS BROKENNN

 

[TransientEternal]

Is it something you can control? I stop caring about others when my own wants are being sacrificed for other people's sake.

 

[Gloomislost]

Is it something you can control? I stop caring about others when my own wants are being sacrificed for other people's sake.

Not really since I just got out the mental hospital and now everyone is on my case about EVERYTHING.

 

[amra81nz]

I dont think your dumb. People learn different things at different speeds. Be yourself.

 

[TransientEternal]

People don't want to suffer your loss. They don't even want to understand your opinion on the matter. They want you to live and suffer for their sake.

 

[Gloomislost]

I dont think your dumb. People learn different things at different speeds. Be yourself.

Thank you!

People don't want to suffer your loss. They don't even want to understand your opinion on the matter. They want you to live and suffer for their sake.

That's exactly how I view it. They don't want to suffer so I have to, but I'll tough it out as long as I can.

 

[hopelessgirl]

Same ;-(

 

[Dgafajwd]

Thank you!

That's exactly how I view it. They don't want to suffer so I have to, but I'll tough it out as long as I can.

Same. Im still under mental health services, they get too worried at times and decide to talk to people in my life to keep me "safe". Im 18 and live in my parents house still. The mental health services have managed to get my parents to strip the house of stuff i can use to ctb. So pissed off that in the UK, everyone around but yourself gets to make the decision for you to stay alive. Im really hoping that tonights attempt is successful.

 

[Gloomislost]

Same. Im still under mental health services, they get too worried at times and decide to talk to people in my life to keep me "safe". Im 18 and live in my parents house still. The mental health services have managed to get my parents to strip the house of stuff i can use to ctb. So pissed off that in the UK, everyone around but yourself gets to make the decision for you to stay alive. Im really hoping that tonights attempt is successful.

My house was basically also stripped of stuff, mostly sharp objects because I was a cutter but it pisses me off. I can be trusted with scissors, I'm not that desperate to cut jfc.

 

[uzuf86]

Same problem here. I am a living corpse these days. I don't know what I am anymore.