From 1 to 10 or 10+ what is your feeling on ctb today and your method do you feel you have chosen the best one for you? What? Same number 1-10.

[RW__Asher23]

I have to say mine is 8 today. Better than 10+ yesterday. But that means nothing for me since it changes all the time but per the question NOW? Today? yeah 8. Method gun 10+ but if not available at the time I need it Jumping 1000 feet or more also 10+ . Now for the last one I didn't mention in title here When and do you feel if it is definite or not sure. Me? Definite time set. Old age will not take me out. CTB Will. But date , someitme this year. Peace. For now though, Tomorrow is another day. Dam!

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I'm always wishing to die as I despise existing and being suicidal is all that I know really, so of course I'm always a 10 for thinking about ctb as absolutely no part of me could ever want anything to do with existing. The fact that I have limited access to reliable methods and I fear suicide failing is the only reason as to why I exist, and I don't have a date in the near future as to when to leave but I certainly must avoid the torture that is old age no matter what and I will find a way.
I really hate how difficult it is for us to finally leave this world, if it was easier I would be long gone at this point.

 

[RichardFirst]

I'm abut 5-6 today. I'm not actively thinking of it, but if you offered me a painless CTB method opportunity, I'd take it.

 

[hrsprayqn]

I have to say mine is 8 today. Better than 10+ yesterday. But that means nothing for me since it changes all the time but per the question NOW? Today? yeah 8. Method gun 10+ but if not available at the time I need it Jumping 1000 feet or more also 10+ . Now for the last one I didn't mention in title here When and do you feel if it is definite or not sure. Me? Definite time set. Old age will not take me out. CTB Will. But date , someitme this year. Peace. For now though, Tomorrow is another day. Dam!

Around about a 7 today, had to get stitches yesterday in the ER for a particularly bad cut.

Looking to get hold of some sodium nitrite and some metoclopramide or something else to stop me vomitting. I just need the tools at hand so that I'm actually ready to ctb, and don't really wanna hang myself because I don't wanna traumatise whoever finds me. I feel OD by sodium nitrite is a little better

 

[downndone2]

7 Today, 9 most days

I'm not 100% on method (gun 10, OD (we know odds are not good unless N, F, SN), jump frpm 10+ storeys 10)

I just don't want to exist. Wish my poor health, bad accident, or a murderer would take me out asap

 

[articspiral]

I used to be a 3-6 most days, but recently it's gotten a lot worse (8-10, 10+ at night.) I've got a few methods in mind but I am 100% on none of them yet. The methods are hanging, full or partial, and I am most concerned about not hitting the right spot on my neck because I have yet to be able to find my carotid arteries. The other is by my friend's handgun, but she knows about my ideation, so I don't think she would let it fall into my hands that easily. The other method is jumping from a bridge within walking distance but it is not high enough to guarantee a death, painful or otherwise.That one is probably my backup if I can't bring myself to prep for other methods. I'm also passively researching SN.

 

[stermc]

I would say 6-7 today.
I have two methods: SN and partial hanging. I think it will depend on my mood on the day, but I am more inclined to partial hanging. I trust 99% in both methods, just gotta do them on the right circumstances.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

It's probably an 8, tonight.

I hate being left alone with my thoughts. It's absolute torture.

 

[figtree]

7

 

[yellowjasmine88]

10. I only have to write a goodbye note.

 

[Forever Sleep]

The WANT to do it today: 8-9. The PRACTICALITY of doing it today: 0 (I'm waiting for my Dad to go first and after that- I want to follow the 3 day SN protocol.) Confidence in my method: 5.

 

[leloyon]

I would say a 6, which is my average honestly. I have no immediate plans, but still plan to commit suicide in the future and am conducting research to formulate a plan. Firearm I would say is a 8, though suicide via train seems oddly appealing honestly. I get like that sometimes, where a method just seems particularly appealing, even if there are much better methods. It is usually quite specific, like "sit on the floor, stick a 12 gauge pump action shotgun with wooden furniture in your mouth and pull the trigger with your toes" was one from a while back. Perhaps just a fantasy becoming a desire? Beats me. The trains here usually don't go quick enough anyway, otherwise I would be long gone.

 

[alivefornow]

Around 7.

Not actively suicidal, no urges. But still constantly thinking about it and making plans. Waiting for a national holiday to end so I can acquire sodium nitrite from local store. Cannot CTB by immediately available means, such as jumping or partial hanging, due to not having the guts. Sucks.

 

[iceyogurt]

Around 7. The plan and scenario of CTB with SN is playing in my head a lot today, but practical chances are a 0, being in a psych ward.

 

[blanket99]

Was around a 6 yesterday, maybe a 9 this morning. Now sitting at 7.5 or so, mornings after waking up with anxiety seem to be the hardest for me

 

[bolt]

always at 9.... need a method.... share your ideas...pls

 

[missingpeace]

I'm always a 9, ready to go if the garaunteed opportunity is provided to me, I have inert gas, SN and partial hanging set-up ready to go, going to keep trying until I succeed. The cause of my suicide is not going to go away, so the desire to go will keep persisting.

 

[BasqueClown]

I woke up today (22/02) imagine me shooting myself, so I'm in a total 10.
Psychiatrist insist that my Dissociative Identity Disorder is causing my suicide thoughts (As my alter/split personality is the one who really wanted to die), but I'm currently under pill effects so my real self also want to suicide.
I choose hanging over all else because I don't want to show a bloody mess when someone recover my corpse.

 

[jessisme]

The WANT to do it today: 8-9. The PRACTICALITY of doing it today: 0 (I'm waiting for my Dad to go first and after that- I want to follow the 3 day SN protocol.) Confidence in my method: 5.

My choice method is SN too and I also have only some confidence in its effectiveness. Isn't it scary to go through all of that and fail? I'm so worried.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My choice method is SN too and I also have only some confidence in its effectiveness. Isn't it scary to go through all of that and fail? I'm so worried.

Yes, definitely. It's REALLY scary. Honestly though- I would only rate 5 for any method! I'm such a pessimist. Even when it comes to suicide apparently. The moment I hear a single person has survived- I start to have doubts. Still, from what I can see so far- at least the aftermath of a failed SN attempt seems less severe compared to some other methods- although I suppose it depends at which state it was aborted. I'm actually quite a determined person though. I just have to keep telling myself- it's going to work- one way or another. I'm going to get rid of this life if it kills me. At least we all get our wish in the end I suppose. At least we're mortal!

 

[GasMonkey]

10+
Nitrogen SCBA
10+ method confidence

 

[hungry_ghost]

7.

Can't take the guilt and self-disgust but am too afraid to utilize the only method at my disposal which is a handgun.

 

[EndlessDream]

9/10 during the day and 11/10 at night :)

 

[outrider567]

Yes, definitely. It's REALLY scary. Honestly though- I would only rate 5 for any method! I'm such a pessimist. Even when it comes to suicide apparently. The moment I hear a single person has survived- I start to have doubts. Still, from what I can see so far- at least the aftermath of a failed SN attempt seems less severe compared to some other methods- although I suppose it depends at which state it was aborted. I'm actually quite a determined person though. I just have to keep telling myself- it's going to work- one way or another. I'm going to get rid of this life if it kills me. At least we all get our wish in the end I suppose. At least we're mortal!

Nitrogen tank plus EEBD hood 10

 

[Thisisme373]

todays been bad, probably 8.5 or 9/10

 

[Jaxveil]

I would say a 6-7, I have time to prepare as I have loose ends that need tied and a date set so i'll be ready. N and SN but N is near impossible to get. 5 on confidence at this stage.

 

[Shinobu]

10+ my perfer method is SN i just needa know how to get it

 

[uniqueusername39]

I've felt like 10 before. But now it's about 3, or even 2. If you gave me a method right now, I would take it but not use immediately. I'd hide it for future use. Because I have something I look forward to tonight. I get to watch a movie with my special someone. I'm going to sew clothes for my Barbie dolls. I'm going to get blueberry ice cream for my family. I'm going to get my dog a new pack of treats. I just have to endure my workplace a bit longer and I could go home.