Friendly Reminder to pay your Child Support

[Sensei]

Indeed. I believe that's called hypocrisy lol.

Funny how he cried ad hom to when he wasn't making an argument but trying to assert something as fact.

The divine fallacy is calling this one lol

Where's your source?

You first kiddo! Back your claims up before asking others for evidence.

I don't have statistics and you don't have statisics. So, again, we'll have to drop this topic.

Some hurtful stuff is being said on both "sides", guys I hope everyone can step back and not let this conversation get out of hand, in the end we've all only exchanged words, no more, no harms been done, let's just try to revert to reducing the suffering on this board?

You're rigth. I yield.

 

[Hyperborean]

Where's your source?

You've not got sources. The burden of proof is upon you. You made the original claim it's upon you to back up your claim not the doubter.

 

[Life_and_Death]

So you do have statistics? Please share.

never said i did. what i did was call out your

You can study something your whole life and still be wrong.

by saying that then you must be wrong as well at which point you came back with

Both you and I state opinions and presents arguments. It's something different when you quote a person's opinions as if they were facts.

which i then argued

That usually happens after a divorce.

and this isnt "stating facts" because the way you have this worded thats exactly what it sounds like.

also might i add that here you even stated that im right by using the word "usually" as in "not always" meaning that it does not always start after divorce meaning that at least some times it must start BEFORE divorce

and you came back with

You certainly gave the impression of stating facts.

completely ignoring what i said about YOU stating facts and trying to turn it around. again at least i provided evidence, thats less then can be said about you

https://www.doctorchristineadams.com/bio/

she did. you going to argue with someone thats been studying it for 40 years?

Parental Alienation: How and When Does It Start?

Discover surprising answers from early marriage and parenting.

www.psychologytoday.com

 

[Sensei]

Maybe you've missed it, but I've stated above that I yield to keep the peace. Thanks for the reminder, @Milo S.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Maybe you've missed it, but I've stated above that I yield to keep peace. Thanks for the reminder, @Milo S.

peace? i could bring up other things but i wont

 

[Sensei]

peace? i could bring up other things but i wont

Then don't.

 

[Hyperborean]

Then don't.

Maybe next time don't chime in on something you know nothing about.

 

[Sensei]

Maybe next time don't chime in on something you know nothing about.

Very childish to write something like that when I've yielded.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Then don't.

this is the third time. first you were mean to me, then you were mean to my husband, and now youre mean to people that have children but more specifically pay child support. you dont want me to say anything.

 

[Sensei]

@Life_and_Death and @Hyperborean, I put you on ignore and I suggest you return the favour.

 

[Life_and_Death]

@Life_and_Death and @Hyperborean, I put you on ignore and I suggest you return the favour.

i had you on ignore before you were mean to my husband. in fact i put you on ignore after you were mean to me

 

[Hyperborean]

Finally something fucking sensible
Also if the op wants to talk to someone about their situation my DMs are open for them.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

May I ask what happened to lead to this situation? Is there not anyway to re-negotiate how much you have to pay? Surely there is some sort of measure in place with covid to protect unemployed people from consequences when it comes to lacking funds. It would probably depend on your country.

Having a child is a lifelong responsibility, there is no easy solution when it comes to doling out the logistics of how people will provide for said child in the aftermath of a divorce or break up. The current system isn't perfect but the intentions are for the welfare of the child, even if the execution isn't great.

At the end of the day that is your child and you need to provide for them to make sure they are taken care (financially, at least) of since you don't have custody. It may seem like a sacrifice but think about it, you are ensuring, hopefully, that your child has access to food, clothing, and all the necessities if the other parent is responsible.

If the payment is breaking you financially I would speak to someone and try to get on some sort of benefits if the amount can't be amended.

Also something I didn't see mentioned really. It is hard to be an entrepreneur or something like that when you have children. Having a kid involves sacrifice and often times the decision to create a new human is not really thought out to that extent. You can still make and create things, maybe even have your own gig eventually, but when you create new humans, they are your priority.

 

[hellodarkness]

Well I didn't expect to run into MGTOW material on a suicide forum today.

 

[awfullife]

May I ask what happened to lead to this situation? Is there not anyway to re-negotiate how much you have to pay? Surely there is some sort of measure in place with covid to protect unemployed people from consequences when it comes to lacking funds. It would probably depend on your country.

Having a child is a lifelong responsibility, there is no easy solution when it comes to doling out the logistics of how people will provide for said child in the aftermath of a divorce or break up. The current system isn't perfect but the intentions are for the welfare of the child, even if the execution isn't great.

At the end of the day that is your child and you need to provide for them to make sure they are taken care (financially, at least) of since you don't have custody. It may seem like a sacrifice but think about it, you are ensuring, hopefully, that your child has access to food, clothing, and all the necessities if the other parent is responsible.

If the payment is breaking you financially I would speak to someone and try to get on some sort of benefits if the amount can't be amended.

Also something I didn't see mentioned really. It is hard to be an entrepreneur or something like that when you have children. Having a kid involves sacrifice and often times the decision to create a new human is not really thought out to that extent. You can still make and create things, maybe even have your own gig eventually, but when you create new humans, they are your priority.

What lead to the situation is me making 350k a year in previous years.
The courts really don't care that you make less now as in the back of their mind, they know you made that and are capable of it again.
They don't understand the risk / reward scenario of high risk commission sales. It is feast or famine.
I was ordered 7k a month support when I made 11k a month in 2015.
I was ordered 2k a month support when I made 3k a month in 2018. (These are hard facts / no BS)
Now I make 4k a month and pay 1500 for 2 kids while working crazy hours.
Benefits? Dude no offense but that shit doesn't fly here.
Do you know that there is not one model of child support in the USA that uses activities and needs of the child as a basis for determining support? Ie, No child support models looks at food / clothing / extra curricular needs. None.
The models look at income of the non custodial parent that is 80% of the time the dad.
Then the dad goes on CTB forums and everything goes to shit.

The key is to stop fighting it. If you just let go and realize that your relationship with kids, earnings potential, and life is fucked to the point you cannot live independently, you will be ok.

 

[Hyperborean]

What lead to the situation is me making 350k a year in previous years.
The courts really don't care that you make less now as in the back of their mind, they know you made that and are capable of it again.
They don't understand the risk / reward scenario of high risk commission sales. It is feast or famine.
I was ordered 7k a month support when I made 11k a month in 2015.
I was ordered 2k a month support when I made 3k a month in 2018. (These are hard facts / no BS)
Now I make 4k a month and pay 1500 for 2 kids while working crazy hours.
Benefits? Dude no offense but that shit doesn't fly here.
Do you know that there is not one model of child support in the USA that uses activities and needs of the child as a basis for determining support? Ie, No child support models looks at food / clothing / extra curricular needs. None.
The models look at income of the non custodial parent that is 80% of the time the dad.
Then the dad goes on CTB forums and everything goes to shit.

The key is to stop fighting it. If you just let go and realize that your relationship with kids, earnings potential, and life is fucked to the point you cannot live independently, you will be ok.

Shit the bed mate that ridiculous! I totally sympathise with you.

 

[RegretedFeeling]

child support is actually overly expensive to the point that a lot of people actually cant afford it. and a lot of different circumstances can lead to it happening. in some cases its just the female wanting money.

this person came here looking for support and you dont know their story. there is no need to make fun of someones situation.

My ex lives in a 700,000 dollar house her mother bought she also has a rental unit that she get side income from. She is in a retirement home and she made her aunt the executor. On paper my ex made 16000 last year was able to go vacation pay for all her kids paddle board classes weekly, her mom owns three cars.

I'm at my wits end and I want a relationship with my child.
But in order to do so I get her every second weekend which works out to about 60 days per year all added up.

I made 38000 before taxes which is what they go off which makes me have to pay her around 300 per year it cost just for bills and food 24000 my take home is about 33000, out of the 7000 I have left I pay her I have 3400 dollars left that my gas presents for my my bio child and my two step kids. I never enough healthy food for all of us.

Her lies are not only affecting me but also my relationship and how well of a parent I can be to my other kids.


It's actually not fair. I'm a transgender woman let me just though out as well it doesn't matter if your a guy or girl. Who ever opened there legs gets money and support while I'm here contemplating suicide.

I did a cost benefit analysis, it didn't look good