ctb★prince

ctb★prince

villain otd
Jul 7, 2023
110
i feel like im being betrayed by my friends, they know that im jealous of people finding happy relationships, they have seen how after years of randos obsessing over me i was left alone after dropping my fake people pleasing act, they have been with me when two of our other friends started dating in secret, they would talk behind my back, hate on me and eventually try to destroy me as a twisted way to get closer to each other, ive never done anything to them, turned out i was just picked randomly, now the same two other friends who would cheer me up after the previous two drifted apart from us are doing the same, theyre exluding the rest of the group, joking about dating, sometimes sexually - im vocal about this making me uncomfortable, and being progressively meaner and meaner towards me, and you know what, it wouldnt even be such a big issue if not for the fact that they were the ones actively convincing me that dating within a friendgroup was bad and only leads to bad things, they were the ones who pushed those ideas onto me, i want to talk it out but at this point theyll just snap at me for having a problem, im scared, i need more friends, someone to feel safe with, this is getting ridiculous, im so afraid of saying anything, and we are supposed to spend holidays together, i dont want to hurt them and i dont want to get hurt either, what do i do what do i do what to do
they startes getting mad at me for the weirdest reasons, eg, not being able to share the same interest in men as one of them, having issues with talking to my mother, being bad at a game, going nonverbal when stressed, and some other random things, one of them keeps trying to go all psychological on me and im fully expecting them to start listing of reasons for why im a bad person or some shit next time we talk, or i might be just paranoid, maybe they dont do this intentionally, but the furthest this goes the more i doubt it, theyve never been like this before, this hurts so much
they started getting mad at me for the weirdest reasons, eg, not being able to share the same interest in men as one of them, having issues with talking to my mother, being bad at a game, going nonverbal when stressed, and some other random things, one of them keeps trying to go all psychological on me and im fully expecting them to start listing of reasons for why im a bad person or some shit next time we talk, or i might be just paranoid, maybe they dont do this intentionally, but the furthest this goes the more i doubt it, theyve never been like this before, this hurts so much
i feel so dirty and evil after writing this but i had to tell someone before i go insane and blow my head up
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Lucilius, jemetire and LoiteringClouds
MrDarkness

MrDarkness

Left sasu, to improve my life
Jun 18, 2023
1,066
I'm 18 I've yet to have a gf, I get called virgin less loser, I don't believe love is real, I also get called I look like a pedo or a rapist, I don't do anything creepy, I'm fairly quiet I usually make people laugh. But I hate hearing about love or marriage etc, cause I know I won't ever get it, I'll die before that happens. I feel empty
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ctb★prince
day

day

Global Mod
Jun 24, 2023
644
I also find a good deal of pain in seeing people in happy relationships. My last 2 ex(s) one cheated on me and the other SA'd me pretty regularly.

I'm sorry this is happening though OP, some people are so blind to their torment. I hope you find peace and happiness moving forward.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ctb★prince
ctb★prince

ctb★prince

villain otd
Jul 7, 2023
110
I'm 18 I've yet to have a gf, I get called virgin less loser, I don't believe love is real, I also get called I look like a pedo or a rapist, I don't do anything creepy, I'm fairly quiet I usually make people laugh. But I hate hearing about love or marriage etc, cause I know I won't ever get it, I'll die before that happens. I feel empty
good lord why do people call you that, thats so rotten, and you sound so sweet too

one type of love i definetly believe in is agape, and i hope, for all of us, to at least get lots of that, even if just among each other, sending tons of strongest bonecrushinh hugs your way
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: MrDarkness
forum user JJ 23/34

forum user JJ 23/34

defunct account, working on recovery
Jun 22, 2023
44
Love is awesome and it's just round the corner for y'all. Wait a little longer, theyre getting here as fast as they can.
 
ctb★prince

ctb★prince

villain otd
Jul 7, 2023
110
I also find a good deal of pain in seeing people in happy relationships. My last 2 ex(s) one cheated on me and the other SA'd me pretty regularly.

I'm sorry this is happening though OP, some people are so blind to their torment. I hope you find peace and happiness moving forward.
i used to be with someone who did both, it was so fucked up, ive heard that shes aspiring to be a serialkiller now, out of all things, so i dodged a bullet with that breakup, its so unfair that we cant be happy and instead we get sent literal demons our way
Love is awesome and it's just round the corner for y'all. Wait a little longer, theyre getting here as fast as they can.
well i must be living in a sphere then haha, but its ok, im getting used to that, im just jealous and angry that so often only people who hurt me, my close ones, or just others in general get to be happy, its so unfair
 
Last edited: