Friend on here ... anyone experienced

[foxtail]

I understand why Ross is here. When my best friend exited a year ago I was on a different pro choice forum seeking comfort and understanding. With my friends passing and the sudden tragedy happened to me recently, I've also decided to exit. I almost felt like this is meant to be, this is my fate. I should be angry about what happened to me but instead I'm just tired, so very tired.

My friend's passing destroyed all of us, but the pain will heal and life goes on. I know my passing will hurt the people that loves me, including my fiancee that left me when I needed her the most, I hope they will respect my decision. We're very similar but yet no one can truly understand one another. I no longer felt pain, instead just numbness. Maybe it's the medication, I'm not sure which is worse.

 

[alisku]

I never knew these type of forum even existed.
I've suffered depression pretty bad for few years now after I was strewed over and wrongfully imprisoned few years back and can't get any appeal.
I was very close to doing (although I think it was mainly the anti depressants and alcohol I consumed that gave me the courage. But by luck (I call it now) I had zero clue on how to tie up belt and frankly wasn't prepared.

Anyway fast forward a few months and one is my best friends has done. Out the blue with no message or note (although she did cor visit before)
I'm in total shock and has totally changed my view on the subject. I've come off anti depressants and would NEVER do now.

Has anyone had this sort of wake up call?

Hi. I did had this sort of wake up call. A very close person of mine tried to ctb. I can't describe the minutes that went to hours after we found the note. I was dealing with depression for many years and at the time was very suicidal. But when that happend I completly changed my mind and did everything to not follow the patch. This friend woke from coma, the attempt failed. But it was truly devastating at the time. Anyway I'm back in a point where I consider ctb.

Also. I feel this is a place for people that are sure about it, but also for those who tries to figure things out. It clearly talks about supporting those who decide to ctb and also supporting those who won't.

Those who figure out 'no I don't want to do that' I would personally recommend to take a brake from this place. Most people don't come here to stay, rather to gather information on how to do that successfully.

 

[Rocksandsand]

@Ross, firstly, I am sorry for your loss.

I think you deserve as much understanding as possible. Grief is a cunt. So is depression. I'm glad you have found a sense of understanding from reading here. Perhaps tread carefully though... a lot of us have experienced the worst that our minds, our society, and our fellow humans can do to us.

I think it's natural to want better for your loved ones than yourself... Even as someone planning my suicide, I would hate for a friend or my brother or father to feel like this or actually commit suicide. Does that make me a hypocrite? Yes. Am I mentally unwell? Also, yes. I am the first person to say that I probably shouldn't have the job of looking after myself and keeping myself alive, because I am determined not to. But I also don't want to hand over that control, because I want to die and I don't want to be stopped.

I truly hope you gain insight here that eases your grief, and again, I am sorry for your loss

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Possibly aimed at the longer standing members.

Has anyone built up a friendship on here the then the person has gone ahead with the task?

Did this encourage u more on own quest or make u change mind seeing and feeling it from the other side?

I found a friend here, but she disappeared, I dunno wether she ctb or not. I feel even more depressed now.

 

[Pallf]

I've become friendly with a few people, but they're gone now. Nothing I can do about that. For your friend, she may have just reached her breaking point. A lot of people who are grieving after a suicide want to know why their loved one decided to die, but you'll never know for certain, unless they left a note.