Friend caught the bus friday

[DandiFynalicious]

A friend of mine killed himself on Friday. I am sad but weirdly jealous and this is the only place I can say that I genuinely wish it were me. I always admired him and wanted to be more like him in so many ways. Now here is one last thing he does better.

I am one of the very few not asking, "why?!" because it makes perfect sense to me. I have been so suicidal for so long. I'm asking, "why not me?"

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry for your loss but I can completely understand why you feel mixed emotions about it. Had you known him for long?

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I understand, I get jealous too.

 

[uniqueusername4]

ugh yeah, I have had several friends/acquaintances ctb and I always feel like they are so lucky. why not me. I am always curious exactly how they did it

 

[Ligottian]

Were you surprised? Do you think others were surprised?

 

[lucmucpuc]

im so sorry for your loss.
one of my best friends hanged himself last year. i dont think ill ever get over it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to cease existing as well, rest in peace.

 

[DandiFynalicious]

I'm sorry for your loss but I can completely understand why you feel mixed emotions about it. Had you known him for long?

Yeah for like five years.

Sorry for delayed response. I was recovering for a while. I am sliding back.

Were you surprised? Do you think others were surprised?

Yeah it was a total shock. The psych autopsy or whatever they call it showed he had a really bad medication reaction. The meds they gave him to keep him from killing himself made it worse and he killed himself as a direct result of the medicine.

This was someone with connections, money, close family, friends, and close psych follow up. He jumped off a bridge. He died instantly. I wish it were me.