Thereisnothing
Enlightened
- Jan 4, 2020
- 1,604
You are thanking and helping us, you are still here talking to us. Doctors and life can be a real let down, I know that from years of physical health which is almost unbearable to get through each day. Add mental anguish on top and geez you really have a cocktail going on. I am alone in this life now as lost both my parents who were only people who loved and cared about me, I dont wish to stay here, yet same time I dont wish to go...........silly maybe I either want one or the other, but no somehow I keep trying to find the next tiny glimmer of hope, however tiny or distant, its so hard to find. My beloved mother always said to me' where there is life there is hope, however small'...........its so hard to see, but i believe its true.Biggest fear ryt now at peace with it that's biggest fear being a veg and burden to family, if I was a wimp I'd be in loft now, have partial suspension set up now. No matter what or how want you all to have your peace, it's crazy a suicide forum and some of the most caring and understanding people iv know are here, you all deserve great lives, if you decide on ctb then you all deserve that beautiful peace perfect peace
Ah fuck I'm in total tears reading this some of you with all your own issues, still reaching others, unreal the health professionals could learn a thing or two instead of the crap they talk, I'm sorry if added to anyone's personal pain, I simply want a quick exit feel so tired upstairs :-( meds' are useless docs are same this way and knowing it's a door I'm able to open has been the one thing that's stopped the pain the reality that I can go on my terms, I wish I could thank or help you all
Had I ended my life by now, I'd not be able to be here to talk to you and for me, that is one big blessing to have kept going for.