FourFifteen
š¹Current Status: Having a coffee / Killing myself
- Aug 30, 2026
- 1
helloo I've lurked this site since I found it which was several years ago and I've gotten to the point where I've made a few steps in the process of ultimately CTB-ing so I thought I'd finally make an account.
Honestly SaSu has prevented me from doing a lot of insane shit as highschooler because I didn't actually know what was and wasn't lethal and the information here made me realize just how hard it is to die. Which saved me a lot of psych ward trips and pointless physical damage.
I digress, I'm honestly weirdly happy (at peace?) to be here and interact w this community. Ik we're all in various stages of dying but at least I'm not alone if that makes sense. I hoping I can know and be known for a bit before I go.
As far as the things that lead me here. uhm. I think it was pretty inevitable LMAO. I was trafficked by my mother from ages 6-14 and still to this day haven't really processed it and probably never will. I've been in psych treatment in one way or another since I was around 10 years old, I attempted/was hospitalized for the first time when I was 12, went to rehab/residental for about a year when I was 14 and that's when I got diagnosed with borderline. and I can't even express how unsurprising that was. (at least there's a stat they can add me too! maybe im being altruistic and ill contribute to finding better treatmsnt options for personality disorders!!! surely they won't just let us all suffer and die!! surely sciencist and doctors care about the chronically mentally ill!!!) I've been a headcase for almost half of my life and I feel like anyone in my shoes would come to the same conclusion. I'm just not cut out to live. No amount of therapy or medications or literally anything short of a full lobotomy can fix this. Anyways I'm rambling at this point but I guess that's why I'm here.
Honestly SaSu has prevented me from doing a lot of insane shit as highschooler because I didn't actually know what was and wasn't lethal and the information here made me realize just how hard it is to die. Which saved me a lot of psych ward trips and pointless physical damage.
I digress, I'm honestly weirdly happy (at peace?) to be here and interact w this community. Ik we're all in various stages of dying but at least I'm not alone if that makes sense. I hoping I can know and be known for a bit before I go.
As far as the things that lead me here. uhm. I think it was pretty inevitable LMAO. I was trafficked by my mother from ages 6-14 and still to this day haven't really processed it and probably never will. I've been in psych treatment in one way or another since I was around 10 years old, I attempted/was hospitalized for the first time when I was 12, went to rehab/residental for about a year when I was 14 and that's when I got diagnosed with borderline. and I can't even express how unsurprising that was. (at least there's a stat they can add me too! maybe im being altruistic and ill contribute to finding better treatmsnt options for personality disorders!!! surely they won't just let us all suffer and die!! surely sciencist and doctors care about the chronically mentally ill!!!) I've been a headcase for almost half of my life and I feel like anyone in my shoes would come to the same conclusion. I'm just not cut out to live. No amount of therapy or medications or literally anything short of a full lobotomy can fix this. Anyways I'm rambling at this point but I guess that's why I'm here.
