For those who have made serious attempts: what were your last thoughts like?

[Volatile]

Did you reflect over your life? I'm afraid to do that because then doubt may creep in. Sentimentality seems like a thing that would fuck it all up.

 

[Empty Smile]

I reflect on my life on a daily basis. Nothing worth really to remember. My life has been fucked as long as I can remember. As I've gotten older, I started isolating myself more and more. Nowadays, it's just me and my thoughts.

 

[Comatose11]

During my most serious attempt I was just thinking about how my family would be better off with me dead

 

[Psi350000]

I fell unconscious very quickly, and all I could hear and think about was the sound of my breathing in the plastic bag.

 

[ge0rge]

I thought it was serious as I was bleeding copiously,

my thoughts were like "oh no this fucking sucks RIP : ("

and worst thing? I'll never be able to listen to Nick Cave's O Children without getting ultratriggered

 

[Gray Wounds]

I had a strange recollection of memories. I also seem to weigh the final pros and cons of what I am going to do and what is my plan b in case I fail.
When I pressed the blade deeply into my wrist back then, the thoughts ceased and I was just left with the sound of my breathing. Then I lie myself down, waiting for death (it never occurred, I just became sleepy but I seem to fight it off (my mind isn't cooperating properly with me back then).

 

[Dip]

My mind was completely focused on the present and on the task at hand. Then eventually it turned to profound disappointment and frustration.

 

[azeton]

I fell unconscious very quickly, and all I could hear and think about was the sound of my breathing in the plastic bag.

Exit Bag? Nitrogen or helium?

 

[Lara Francis]

Both relief and excitement in knowIng my life could be over in a minute.a calmness of mind in some ways but also the inner torment between joining my dead husband or living for my son.

 

[Strumgewehr]

It's now or never.

 

[Lara Francis]

Fucking live for your son !!! Your husband didn't commit suicide now if he did there's a sense that he didn't feel for his son and so why should you have compassion BUT he didn't commit suicide he died of tragic circumstances- do you really think he would want his son your son to live without one parent ?? Fuck Laura you can do this - get off this site please just for a bit book yourself into a one to one with a counsellor maybe two sessions I don't know three four ... this site is doing you no favours - if by dad has died via a heart attack I'd be cut up I'd inconsolable but over time I'd accept that nature had its way with him but if my mum committed suicide no I'd never get over it ever because that's not nature taking its course

Promise me you'll log out the site take your son the beach an amusement arcade a fair a walk in the park treat him to ice cream look at it him and in him see your husband and when he has children see your husband in then

Fuck Laura you have a chance grasp it

Jonnydoeuk .Thankyou.I will xx

 

[Psi350000]

Exit Bag? Nitrogen or helium?

Neither actually. I had chloroform and soaked a rag in it, and secured it over my mouth and nose: put a plastic bag over my head with a rubber band.

I fell unconscious (I don't know for how long) but woke up to burn marks on my face and chest from the chloroform, and the next few days got acute liver failure and ended up in the ICU.

 

[Justanotherconsumer]

Not much after 12 beers and half a bottle of whiskey. Just was ready for a peaceful sleep (charcoal) it was a cold night in the mountains and felt good. Waking up the next morning was the fucked part.

 

[nuclearsnake]

I felt surprisingly peaceful and was glad to finally be free.

 

[Sharethepain]

For me it was like just finally getting it over with and being done with all this stuff. I wasn´t reminiscing of anything really, just focused on my task. I was just hoping that I won´t wake up afterwards. Sadly I´m still here today writing this, so that didn´t go too well.

 

[Jane8334]

After I blacked out, all I was aware of was immense pain in my head. It was strange because I was thinking what is the source of this pain?! It's like I momentarily had amnesia and forgot that it was self inflicted! My body was like fuck this shit! Then my survival instincts took over. It was all thoughts relating to what was happening physically, for me.

 

[Fenrirsend]

All I could think was..the pains finnally gonna end. They can't hurt me anymore n I don't have to do anymore of the life bs...it's was pretty peaceful

 

[Tiburcio]

Survival instinct. Everything can be summarized with that two words.

 

[Dip]

Neither actually. I had chloroform and soaked a rag in it, and secured it over my mouth and nose: put a plastic bag over my head with a rubber band.

I fell unconscious (I don't know for how long) but woke up to burn marks on my face and chest from the chloroform, and the next few days got acute liver failure and ended up in the ICU.

How did you survive?

 

[Psi350000]

I think the chloroform rag slipped off at some point, and the bag had been torn off my head (I probably did this involuntarily while I was unconscious).

I didn't tell anyone about it, but after 3 days of not being able to keep any food down, my friend took me to the hospital and they sent me to the ICU.

Long story short, they never figured out why my liver failed and they didn't think I'd make it, but over about 10 days my liver miraculously recovered.

 

[Dip]

I think the chloroform rag slipped off at some point, and the bag had been torn off my head (I probably did this involuntarily while I was unconscious).

I didn't tell anyone about it, but after 3 days of not being able to keep any food down, my friend took me to the hospital and they sent me to the ICU.

Long story short, they never figured out why my liver failed and they didn't think I'd make it, but over about 10 days my liver miraculously recovered.

Interesting, perhaps binding or weighing down your arms would've ensured the bag stayed on?

The liver is also quite the mystery, maybe some of the chloroform from the rag seeped through your mouth and down your throat as unlikely as that sounds.

 

[Psi350000]

Interesting, perhaps binding or weighing down your arms would've ensured the bag stayed on?

The liver is also quite the mystery, maybe some of the chloroform from the rag seeped through your mouth and down your throat as unlikely as that sounds.

Yeah the liver thing was a mystery, I'm thinking the chloroform I inhaled made it's way to the liver and thus the liver failure.

 

[Wait-Bus]

Did you reflect over your life? I'm afraid to do that because then doubt may creep in. Sentimentality seems like a thing that would fuck it all up.

I tried to hang myself when I was a teenager, and was freely hanging when the knots untied.

As I was hanging with the full expectation I wouldn't survive, At that moment, I just told myself "you just killed yourself."

A moment later the knots untied and I fell to the ground.

 

[Darkover]

overdose on olanzapine just fell to sleep after 5 mins was in a coma for 1 day didn't really think of anything just remember laying down and falling to sleep

 

[makethepainstop]

Just feelings of calm and great peace. I

 

[John-LW]

I was present in the moment. I wrote what I needed to down and just started doing what I needed to do. Why didn't matter anymore.

 

[actual_fox]

I do not even remember, probably determination and sadness. Despair? Idk. Idk If It was serious. I tried partial and It did not work. I left note and automatic message.

 

[killmeiwannadie]

all i kept saying was "at least i won't have to go to work tomorrow…"

guess who didn't die and had to go to work. obviously not the exact next day but you know what i mean

 

[AnonymousS]

Usually feelings of peace and calm, all my problems and pain will soon be over.

 

[perfectstorm]

I reflect on my life on a daily basis. Nothing worth really to remember. My life has been fucked as long as I can remember. As I've gotten older, I started isolating myself more and more. Nowadays, it's just me and my thoughts.

Don't you wish all of us who feel this way could be friends? We would all "get it" bc so many feel the same exact way.