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Volatile

Volatile

God
Jun 18, 2018
1,286
Did you reflect over your life? I'm afraid to do that because then doubt may creep in. Sentimentality seems like a thing that would fuck it all up.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I reflect on my life on a daily basis. Nothing worth really to remember. My life has been fucked as long as I can remember. As I've gotten older, I started isolating myself more and more. Nowadays, it's just me and my thoughts.
 
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C

Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
572
During my most serious attempt I was just thinking about how my family would be better off with me dead
 
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P

Psi350000

Member
Aug 4, 2018
33
I fell unconscious very quickly, and all I could hear and think about was the sound of my breathing in the plastic bag.
 
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ge0rge

ge0rge

the satanic mechanic
Jul 29, 2018
639
I thought it was serious as I was bleeding copiously,

my thoughts were like "oh no this fucking sucks RIP : ("

and worst thing? I'll never be able to listen to Nick Cave's O Children without getting ultratriggered
 
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Gray Wounds

Gray Wounds

A Phantasmagoria
Jun 27, 2018
575
I had a strange recollection of memories. I also seem to weigh the final pros and cons of what I am going to do and what is my plan b in case I fail.
When I pressed the blade deeply into my wrist back then, the thoughts ceased and I was just left with the sound of my breathing. Then I lie myself down, waiting for death (it never occurred, I just became sleepy but I seem to fight it off (my mind isn't cooperating properly with me back then).
 
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D

Dip

Student
Jul 27, 2018
171
My mind was completely focused on the present and on the task at hand. Then eventually it turned to profound disappointment and frustration.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Both relief and excitement in knowIng my life could be over in a minute.a calmness of mind in some ways but also the inner torment between joining my dead husband or living for my son.
 
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S

Strumgewehr

Experienced
Jun 7, 2018
271
It's now or never.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
Fucking live for your son !!! Your husband didn't commit suicide now if he did there's a sense that he didn't feel for his son and so why should you have compassion BUT he didn't commit suicide he died of tragic circumstances- do you really think he would want his son your son to live without one parent ?? Fuck Laura you can do this - get off this site please just for a bit book yourself into a one to one with a counsellor maybe two sessions I don't know three four ... this site is doing you no favours - if by dad has died via a heart attack I'd be cut up I'd inconsolable but over time I'd accept that nature had its way with him but if my mum committed suicide no I'd never get over it ever because that's not nature taking its course

Promise me you'll log out the site take your son the beach an amusement arcade a fair a walk in the park treat him to ice cream look at it him and in him see your husband and when he has children see your husband in then

Fuck Laura you have a chance grasp it
Jonnydoeuk .Thankyou.I will xx
 
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P

Psi350000

Member
Aug 4, 2018
33
Exit Bag? Nitrogen or helium?

Neither actually. I had chloroform and soaked a rag in it, and secured it over my mouth and nose: put a plastic bag over my head with a rubber band.

I fell unconscious (I don't know for how long) but woke up to burn marks on my face and chest from the chloroform, and the next few days got acute liver failure and ended up in the ICU.
 
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Justanotherconsumer

Justanotherconsumer

Paragon
Jul 9, 2018
974
Not much after 12 beers and half a bottle of whiskey. Just was ready for a peaceful sleep (charcoal) it was a cold night in the mountains and felt good. Waking up the next morning was the fucked part.
 
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N

nuclearsnake

Student
Jul 11, 2018
145
I felt surprisingly peaceful and was glad to finally be free.
 
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Sharethepain

Sharethepain

We forge the chains we wear in life.
May 2, 2018
138
For me it was like just finally getting it over with and being done with all this stuff. I wasn´t reminiscing of anything really, just focused on my task. I was just hoping that I won´t wake up afterwards. Sadly I´m still here today writing this, so that didn´t go too well.
 
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J

Jane8334

Member
Jul 7, 2018
25
After I blacked out, all I was aware of was immense pain in my head. It was strange because I was thinking what is the source of this pain?! It's like I momentarily had amnesia and forgot that it was self inflicted! My body was like fuck this shit! Then my survival instincts took over. It was all thoughts relating to what was happening physically, for me.
 
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F

Fenrirsend

Student
Jul 15, 2018
106
All I could think was..the pains finnally gonna end. They can't hurt me anymore n I don't have to do anymore of the life bs...it's was pretty peaceful
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
Survival instinct. Everything can be summarized with that two words.
 
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D

Dip

Student
Jul 27, 2018
171
Neither actually. I had chloroform and soaked a rag in it, and secured it over my mouth and nose: put a plastic bag over my head with a rubber band.

I fell unconscious (I don't know for how long) but woke up to burn marks on my face and chest from the chloroform, and the next few days got acute liver failure and ended up in the ICU.

How did you survive?
 
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P

Psi350000

Member
Aug 4, 2018
33
I think the chloroform rag slipped off at some point, and the bag had been torn off my head (I probably did this involuntarily while I was unconscious).

I didn't tell anyone about it, but after 3 days of not being able to keep any food down, my friend took me to the hospital and they sent me to the ICU.

Long story short, they never figured out why my liver failed and they didn't think I'd make it, but over about 10 days my liver miraculously recovered.
 
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D

Dip

Student
Jul 27, 2018
171
I think the chloroform rag slipped off at some point, and the bag had been torn off my head (I probably did this involuntarily while I was unconscious).

I didn't tell anyone about it, but after 3 days of not being able to keep any food down, my friend took me to the hospital and they sent me to the ICU.

Long story short, they never figured out why my liver failed and they didn't think I'd make it, but over about 10 days my liver miraculously recovered.

Interesting, perhaps binding or weighing down your arms would've ensured the bag stayed on?

The liver is also quite the mystery, maybe some of the chloroform from the rag seeped through your mouth and down your throat as unlikely as that sounds.
 
P

Psi350000

Member
Aug 4, 2018
33
Interesting, perhaps binding or weighing down your arms would've ensured the bag stayed on?

The liver is also quite the mystery, maybe some of the chloroform from the rag seeped through your mouth and down your throat as unlikely as that sounds.
Yeah the liver thing was a mystery, I'm thinking the chloroform I inhaled made it's way to the liver and thus the liver failure.
 
W

Wait-Bus

Student
Sep 20, 2022
145
Did you reflect over your life? I'm afraid to do that because then doubt may creep in. Sentimentality seems like a thing that would fuck it all up.
I tried to hang myself when I was a teenager, and was freely hanging when the knots untied.

As I was hanging with the full expectation I wouldn't survive, At that moment, I just told myself "you just killed yourself."

A moment later the knots untied and I fell to the ground.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Illuminated
Jul 29, 2021
3,923
overdose on olanzapine just fell to sleep after 5 mins was in a coma for 1 day didn't really think of anything just remember laying down and falling to sleep
 
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makethepainstop

makethepainstop

Visionary
Sep 16, 2022
2,033
Just feelings of calm and great peace. I
 
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J

John-LW

Member
Sep 3, 2022
38
I was present in the moment. I wrote what I needed to down and just started doing what I needed to do. Why didn't matter anymore.
 
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actual_fox

actual_fox

Arcanist
Sep 15, 2022
469
I do not even remember, probably determination and sadness. Despair? Idk. Idk If It was serious. I tried partial and It did not work. I left note and automatic message.
 
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K

killmeiwannadie

Member
Sep 19, 2022
41
all i kept saying was "at least i won't have to go to work tomorrow…"

guess who didn't die and had to go to work. obviously not the exact next day but you know what i mean
 
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A

AnonymousS

Specialist
Sep 11, 2021
303
Usually feelings of peace and calm, all my problems and pain will soon be over.
 
P

perfectstorm

Member
Jul 28, 2023
24
I reflect on my life on a daily basis. Nothing worth really to remember. My life has been fucked as long as I can remember. As I've gotten older, I started isolating myself more and more. Nowadays, it's just me and my thoughts.
Don't you wish all of us who feel this way could be friends? We would all "get it" bc so many feel the same exact way.
 
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