For those planning to leave soon, how have you been spending your last days/weeks/months?

[february in alaska]

I've been trying to enjoy things where I can for the last little bit, but personally I'm just too tired to do a whole "bucket list" and go do incredible adventurous things.

I find it really interesting how I'm literally living a "what would you do if you only had one month to live" type situation and *these* are the things I've chosen to do

So, how I've been spending my last few months:

- Watching The Office US on repeat. I'm not even sure why
- Playing Baldurs Gate 3
- Spending money on stupid gatcha games (something I've never let myself do)
- Listening to music 24/7, always, literally all the time
- Took up smoking
- Got my first C- in a college course. I've always been a 4.0 student but I gave up
- Making voice recordings of me talking/reading books for my family
- Taking extensive naps, going to sleep at 6pm sometimes, falling asleep everywhere

 

[Fktw0rld]

I've just been acting the same and following my normal routine. Nothing out of the ordinary. I don't want to raise any suspicions when the day arrives and I say, "hey I'm taking a ride. I'll be back later."

 

[AInilam]

Prepping for a little ''home-coming/going away party'', it's hard getting things done when you're feeling depressed but I'm trying to use the moments I do feel capable/motivated to see this one last project to completion. After everything, I owe it to myself.

 

[MarsProxy]

I've spent the last month talking to friends and family for the most part. Just about every day I've had a phone call or voice chat on Discord. Ever since my partner died I've been unable to play video games until more recently. I tentatively got back into it. Started drinking alcohol. Haven't had it in about a year, but it sorta helps me fall asleep now since I've been struggling to sleep after he died. Also I've been struggling to eat since that day, so I've barely corrected that now.

 

[girl2910]

I will spend my last few weeks in my bed watching a series or reading a book

 

[february in alaska]

Prepping for a little ''home-coming/going away party'', it's hard getting things done when you're feeling depressed but I'm trying to use the moments I do feel capable/motivated to see this one last project to completion. After everything, I owe it to myself.

That sounds really nice. I hope you're able to have a nice party and enjoy it at the end <3

 

[Deleted member 65988]

1. Reading and researching the Nanboku-cho period.

2. Talking to some users off here on Telegram

3. Being on here, discussing SN and other topics.

 

[BlackBlood6]

Considering drinking. Kinda not sure I even want to do that, I need to be as sharp as possible. But probably will lol, just to take the edge off

 

[february in alaska]

I've spent the last month talking to friends and family for the most part. Just about every day I've had a phone call or voice chat on Discord. Ever since my partner died I've been unable to play video games until more recently. I tentatively got back into it. Started drinking alcohol. Haven't had it in about a year, but it sorta helps me fall asleep now since I've been struggling to sleep after he died. Also I've been struggling to eat since that day, so I've barely corrected that now.

I'm so sorry to hear about your partner, that's awful. I hope they're at peace and I hope you're able to find peace too

I will spend my last few weeks in my bed watching a series or reading a book

Very similar to what I've been doing. Do you have a specific book/show in mind, or is it just kind of anything?

1. Reading and researching the Nanboku-cho period.

2. Talking to some users off here on Telegram

3. Being on here, discussing SN and other topics.

Oh yeah, I forgot to say that myself… I spend so much time on this site :') And the Nanboku-cho period sounds interesting, I don't know anything about it but I think it's really cool to follow stuff you're passionate about until the end

 

[girl2910]

I'm so sorry to hear about your partner, that's awful. I hope they're at peace and I hope you're able to find peace too


Very similar to what I've been doing. Do you have a specific book/show in mind, or is it just kind of anything?


Oh yeah, I forgot to say that myself… I spend so much time on this site :') And the Nanboku-cho period sounds interesting, I don't know anything about it but I think it's really cool to follow stuff you're passionate about until the end

I watch the series Chicago Med and the book I read is Icebreaker by Hannah Grace

 

[Deleted member 65988]

Oh yeah, I forgot to say that myself… I spend so much time on this site :') And the Nanboku-cho period sounds interesting, I don't know anything about it but I think it's really cool to follow stuff you're passionate about until the end

Having read about the Sengoku, it became oversaturated for me so I moved onto the Nanboku-cho period, wanted to find out more about the Kenmu rebellion, Kitabatake Akiies government in Mutsu, the real image of Kusunoki Masashige apart from his loyalty to Go-Daigo, the State of Kyushu during the entire period, whether Ko no Moronao was as bad as portrayed in the Taiheki, the real position of Nitta Yoshisada in comparison to Takauji, why Prince Moriyoshi saw Takauji as a threat to national stability under his father, Emperor Go-Daigo even if Takauji played a significant role in the downfall of the Kamakura Bakufu, how young Hojo Tokiyuki was a banner for resurgence of the Hojo in the Nakasendai war of 1335 etc.... nevermind the commanders on each side who switched between the Northern Court/Ashikaga Shogunate and the Southern Court when it was opportunistically available to do so and the reasons why.

Love this period, underrated and not looked into enough so took it upon myself to learn what I could and still am right now.

 

[UglyInk]

Watching my favorite tv shows / cartoons from childhood, and deep cleaning my apartment, because you know, I wanna leave a good impression behind.

 

[Abyssal]

Keeping up the act.

 

[Dgafajwd]

I plan on CTB on Tuesday. I'm spending my last days writing notes to people who I care about, playing my instruments, spending most of my time on here whilst keeping up the act. Playing instruments for as long as I want and as loud as I want has caused many arguments between me and my family, unfortunately I can't afford to move out of my parents' home. I don't care at all how much I piss my parents off anymore, I wont have to put up with them for much longer luckily.

 

[HopeIsLost]

It's underwhelming but mainly just finishing video games I've been procrastinating on as well as finishing mangas and books and once that's done, I'll attempt to genuinely live my life for once during my final days. Don't know how, but I'll try to just find a bit of joy in living rather than how I've just existed before I finally ctb.

 

[DEATH IS FREEDOM]

I am just trying to get over the fear of death, the death process and of dying alone without a doctor´s help. There is no more difficult task.

 

[whitefeather]

I am just trying to get over the fear of death, the death process and of dying alone without a doctor´s help. There is no more difficult task.

ditto. do you have a drs rx ?

 

[useless_friend]

I've been listing the ways in which I've thrown away my life, especially in the past years of marriage (no traveling, no sex). I've been practicing Night-Night (cold mornings, a scarf - something to do while I wait for the bus). I've made a will.

Started planning:

- do I CBT at home or elsewhere?
- do I take my passport and get back to mainland Europe one final time?
- do I hire an escort for a couple of hours?

Planning makes this all easier, gives me a context and paradoxically some bittersweet form of hope.

 

[worstgirl7716]

Even though I know im going to die soon, I still can't bring myself to eat. It sucks

 

[PrettyPotato]

Travelling abroad, and fitting in as many distractions as I can bother with.
Not worth doing anything meaningful, so playing eating amazing cakes, playing video games, watching movies I enjoyed a long time ago but have never watched again, listening to music. That kind of thing. Just a way to pass the time for a few weeks really.

 

[muteallchat]

stockpiled some money, eating mcdonalds and energy drinks every day, boosted my friend's dota account to immortal

 

[mia_qwerty]

I'm not well so being in bed watching stuff. And hugging my cat.

 

[Noc]

Idk what I should do actually. I'd love to spend the last weeks hanging out with loved ones and having fun a lot but I have spent the last months alone like 80% of the time and for most of my life, and I don't really have anyone except for like one friend. she prefers to stay at home most of the time tho. A long-term close friend stopped replying on the 31th, and I basically never see them irl, so here's that. I haven't been talking to anyone expect for here and there texting with that one friend. I've lived alone, I'll have to spend my last moments alone & I'll die alone. So no plans, really. Ig I'll just be in bed most of the time and try to cuddle my precious pet as much as possible

 

[february in alaska]

I'm not well so being in bed watching stuff. And hugging my cat.

I hope you're able to feel better in some way, sending you love and giving my cat lots of hugs too. Cats give the best hugs.

Idk what I should do actually. I'd love to spend the last weeks hanging out with loved ones and having fun a lot but I have spent the last months alone like 80% of the time and for most of my life, and I don't really have anyone except for like one friend. she prefers to stay at home most of the time tho. A long-term close friend stopped replying on the 31th, and I basically never see them irl, so here's that. I haven't been talking to anyone expect for here and there texting with that one friend. I've lived alone, I'll have to spend my last moments alone & I'll die alone. So no plans, really. Ig I'll just be in bed most of the time and try to cuddle my precious pet as much as possible

For some reason you remind me of one of my internet friends and this made my heart hurt. I hope you're able to talk to people, even just on this site or elsewhere on the internet, and maybe find some peace and happy moments while waiting for the end. Best of luck, stranger <3

 

[JKAC]

Writing my last notes to whom ever may find or read them after I'm gone.
Also trying to reach out to whom I may have wronged over the years to make it right in my own head. So far it seems like everything is going to plan, only a couple weeks left for me.

 

[february in alaska]

Writing my last notes to whom ever may find or read them after I'm gone.
Also trying to reach out to whom I may have wronged over the years to make it right in my own head. So far it seems like everything is going to plan, only a couple weeks left for me.

Ah. Definitely feel this. I sent out a few texts to people I haven't spoken with in years and years to apologize or catch up for things that I've never stopped thinking about. It's hard, but it really does feel good once you've finally do it, regardless of whether you're forgiven or they even respond or not. I hope it makes you feel more at peace too

 

[MyLuckyStars]

homemade audiobooks of a sort sound nice. i read a lot of books with my family as a kid, and got pretty good at narrating myself id say. id probably do the same. im a gacha guy by default, but im loyal to only one (dragon ball z dokkan battle). if i knew the gig was up soon, i guess id piss all my money into it too. still missing 5 or so lr's, might as well round out the collection. if i had to answer the question though, probably just video games and eating out at expensive restaurants. would love to enjoy a good steak or two before i go

 

[CeramicPundit]

I've been trying to enjoy things where I can for the last little bit, but personally I'm just too tired to do a whole "bucket list" and go do incredible adventurous things.

I find it really interesting how I'm literally living a "what would you do if you only had one month to live" type situation and *these* are the things I've chosen to do

So, how I've been spending my last few months:

- Watching The Office US on repeat. I'm not even sure why
- Playing Baldurs Gate 3
- Spending money on stupid gatcha games (something I've never let myself do)
- Listening to music 24/7, always, literally all the time
- Took up smoking
- Got my first C- in a college course. I've always been a 4.0 student but I gave up
- Making voice recordings of me talking/reading books for my family
- Taking extensive naps, going to sleep at 6pm sometimes, falling asleep everywhere

The same way I spent all of my days: coping because my life and mind are so royally screwed that ending myself will literally have more of a positive effect on the people around me than sticking around. So I wake up at 2pm, game, go to sleep at 5am, repeat. It's nothing special because I am nothing special. I am nothing.

 

[caninecomposer]

Desperately applying for jobs I'm not going to get, getting denied the opportunity to be anyone's housewife, binging some anime series I've always wanted to watch, lamenting the games I've waited years for that aren't going to come out before I leave the planet, trying new doordash restaurants. Also might make one last song, and put it in my final "best-of" album from my past decade of compositions.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Well..let's see.
If everything's been set up the way I want it, and all that's needed is for me to go to that location and flick the switch...
I'd ask those who are important to me to go out and spend the day with me, or lunch or dinner. I wouldnt tell them anything or probably say a white lie like i'll be going somewhere so I'll be out of reach for a while.
Then set a disconnection date for the utilities: electric and water, and subscription services that I have, phone plans as well.
If i am renting at that time, then I'd give notice to my landlord and slowly clear out my stuff so it's done a week prior to my CTB date.
I'd spend time giving away my clothes to whoever will take them, and trying to sell the other stuff or just give it away for free, point is they have to be gone.
Then probably start deactivating what little social media account I have, and emails too, they all have to be done by the week before the CTB date. I'd probably empty out and close out all my accounts as well, in person at the bank, so i'm on CCTV and there's no mistake that I was the one who did close out the accounts and all, no suspicion of foul play at all.
Put the following documents in a folder: cremation plan, and the number to contact to have my body picked up, etc.


For the 2 weeks, i'd probably live out of hotels, do what I want to go:
1) go out and walk the streets at night time.
2) go to a bar, by myself
3) eat meals by myself.
4) Go to the capital city, revisit my elementary and highschool. go back to the province.
5) Snorkel by myself.
6) Drive around the island where I am, like circumnavigate that bad boy. It's not that big and can be done in two days.
7) write the last instructions to my friend who I have to let know to tie up loose ends(if any), at most i'd send a copy of the cremation plan and the number that that person should call.
The last 3 days before the date: buy alcohol and water. go to the site, set everything up. If there's something missing i'd probably go to the nearest town and get it.
The last 24 hours before. i'd like to just stare out quietly into the view. probably fight my SI. Probably gonna cry a bit, but it would be okay because I was alone anyway, so the tears can fall. I am a dude and I don't buy into that crap that's popular nowadays, about it being ok for men to cry in public. I will cry, alone, and you can bet your ass i'll be happy that I was alone.
probably have a conversation out-loud with God or the Devil, something along the lines of I'm sorry and ready or not, here I come.
Take a bath, make sure the folder where the cremation docs and who to contact is beside me. sit down, flick the switch.