For those of you with SA...

[Debbie Northampton U]

I'd like to ask you a few things:

How long have you had SA for?

Do you know why you have SA?

If you could have your ideal social situation, what would it be - as in any situation where you could feel comfortable?

Were you abandoned as a child?


I've had SA since I was around 24 and it's gradually gotten worse.

Since then, I've always gone for popular men to prop me up so I could be popular by association. In hindsight, that's the worst thing I could have done because you shouldn't have to rely on anyone for that.

I have a sneaky feeling the reason I feel uncomfortable in social situations is because I don't get anything out of conversation/anything unless I'm getting attention or some kind of adrenaline rush. So, I'd be ok if I'd have several drinks or went out go-karting or something.

Yes, by three fathers.

 

[suicidesheep31]

Hi, is SA suicidal ideation?
I have this since i am 13 y-old, i am 37 now.
I had some peace with that during 5 years but it came back 2 years ago.
My ideal social situation would be to have a work I like and my own family as well as friends on whom I can count.
I was not abandoned as a child but my parents neglected me emotionally. My father was not there and my mother was drinking, not talking to me. She was busy with my brother. She didn't treat me as my brother. She did beat me and not him. She also did care about my needs when I left the home. But anyway, were you abandoned as a child?

Yes, by three fathers.

What does it mean?
HUGS

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Hi SS. Oh it's complicated. Didn't know the identity of my real father until I was in my thirties. Thought my stepdad was my real dad until I was 15 (stepdad left when I was 12) when mother told me a lie that my real dad was someone else, when I asked my stepdad, he said No it was this other guy. So I think in my child's mind I thought the two men that might be my father never really cared, you know, cos they weren't around. I dunno. People go through a lot worse but I think it's affected me.

 

[suicidesheep31]

Well, it is never a good news/ or at least not easy to learn after 15 years that the man you think is your father is not your father. Because you build your identity on something and discover that is not the truth. So, it is disturbing.
Does your stepfather loves you or expressed love towards you?
Do you want to search you 'real' father?
My father was not there. It doesn't mean that he didn't care. He just doesn't know how to communicate with us. He always think that he will bother me while calling...

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

SS, I got a detective to look for my father when I found out finally who he was and unfortunately he died when I was 26 and he was 46. My stepdad sounds like your dad. My stepdad has been in and out of my life since I was two years old but his idea of being a father is asking me how the weather is haha. He cannot cope and doesn't want to know about my life. In fact he sent me a birthday card today and I tore it up and put it in the bin.

Going back to you though - why haven't you got friends you can count on? Why don't you have relationships with your family? Also, what do you mean by, "is SA suicidal ideation"?

 

[motel rooms]

I've had SA since I was around 24 and it's gradually gotten worse.

Since then, I've always gone for popular men to prop me up so I could be popular by association. In hindsight, that's the worst thing I could have done because you shouldn't have to rely on anyone for that.

I have a sneaky feeling the reason I feel uncomfortable in social situations is because I don't get anything out of conversation/anything unless I'm getting attention or some kind of adrenaline rush. So, I'd be ok if I'd have several drinks or went out go-karting or something.

Have you been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder? Because it doesn't sound like you actually have it

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Why does it sound like I don't have it? Weird thing to say. To be honest, I don't know if I've been officially diagnosed but I don't go out anywhere and I'm on meds and have had therapy for it.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

I'm assuming SA = social anxiety? If so...

How long have you had SA for? While I haven't been officially diagnosed with SA, I've felt some degree of social anxiety for as long as I could remember. Even as a child, I was quite shy and overly concerned with that people thought of me, though I was able to maintain a small group of friends. It's gotten much worse as I've aged. I now have no friends at 29 years old and am unable to interact with others or even be in public without extreme anxiety.

Do you know why you have SA? I'm not sure, but I think it's rooted in my very low self-esteem, desire for approval, and fear of rejection.

If you could have your ideal social situation, what would it be - as in any situation where you could feel comfortable? None. Complete solitude is the only way for me to avoid all social anxiety. However, if I could be around someone who I knew loved me unconditionally and who was supportive and patient with me, I think I'd feel comfortable for the most part. But this person could never exist so it's just a fairy-tale dream.

Were you abandoned as a child? No, I had the best childhood anyone could ask for.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

MoN, it's interesting this nature versus nurture thing - for me anyway. I was thinking perhaps all people with SA had complicated childhoods but you've just thrown a spanner in the works. . Do you work, or you're unable to due to your SA? The low self esteem, need for approval and fear of rejection is also me, so I get it.

HbtG, ok, thanks, I thought you might be having a go at me. The popular men was in my youth. Nowadays I can't get near man as I'm such a nervous wreck. Do you know, I'm going to ask my doctor if I've been diagnosed with SA and/or depression cos I really don't know. I mean I've had lots of useless therapy etc but I'm not sure how they diagnose it.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

Well I don't know what they do - they might just see you over the years and write on your file that you have SA. Or they might sit you down and tell you, I don't know.

You sound like a nasty person btw, but I'm sure you know that. Dick.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

The overuse of smileys to pretend you are laughing when in reality you are seething - and exclamation marks shows you for what you are. You don't bother me and I won't be deleting this thread. And if you think I'm thick, well that's up to you. I'd rather be that than an unhinged, seething poster who gets their kicks out of being nasty. You may have the last word. I actually feel a bit sorry for you.

 

[Debbie Northampton U]

you really are amusing, don't worry i'm not even going to report what you said. I'll leave that upto others. keep the compliments coming, whats it like to know your mum and dad are brother and sister? as your clearly a inbred, there's no excuse for the complete lack of brains otherwise

I'm unhinged? I'm not the one on a suicide forum pretending to have an illness i don't have, but you think thatsactually ok in your warped mind!!! that kind of says it all really.

i think your the one thats seething my dear, you made a complete dick of yourself with no help from anyone else, now that takes a SPECIAL type of person, do you lick windows for a living??

whats it like to be so intelligent???

.

 

[The Lonely]

See… I am Inviting everyone else to REPORT this kind of abuse is occurring here!
Thank you!

 

[The Lonely]

Seriously!!!?
I ask URGENT measures HERE !!!

This KIND of stuff is the last thing should happen here!!!!

Ban these Trollers!!! NOW!!!

 

[quiet.rabbit]

feel free, do i look worried, this member clearly lied about having an illness. I'm sure that VERY reportable. they then also said no wonder i'm suicidal, not what a typical suicidal person says!!!!

you can put your dummy back in aswell, you were one of the ones trying to gain personal information in private chats, awww didn't get what you want lmao. i'll let everyone know exactly what you are like aswell.

you also mentioned how uneasy you was about all the young people on the site wanting to CTB, I'll let you into a secret everyone here are adults and can decide what they want to do. IF you DON'T like it Then feel free to leave.

you were the one asking about how i paid moneygram, again another ploy that didn't work

I'm sure the moderators can pull up the whole conversation and what you said. and i have no problem at all. YOU WANNA TRY AND TAKE ME ON? BRING IT I SAY, i will destroy you and every little lie you post. Its already been proven with the false information you were spreading that with help from a MODERATOR was proven to be completely false.

take your pro life arse somewhere its welcome

you should have really made this much effort while there alive and they might not have CTB

I do agree it's odd they said that but you need to calm down. They suspect they have SAD, so what? Nobody's getting hurt.

 

[The Lonely]

Seriously there are here 43 folks watching this right now and thinking it's everything is ok????

Ashamed on you for not having denounced this thread so far!!!

………….

47 folks (now at 20:43) …

Im expecting mesures!!

 

[quiet.rabbit]

Odd???

they don't know what they have been diagnosed with? thats odd, pull another one i'm not gullible

then there next sentence is this.......

Well I don't know what they do - they might just see you over the years and write on your file that you have SA. Or they might sit you down and tell you, I don't know

so they don't even know what doctors do either

I'm not naive unfortunately

they then said

You sound like a nasty person btw, but I'm sure you know that. Dick.

and that no wonder i'm suicidal

that isn't the comment of a person that is suicidal, if you want to believe that, feel free. i'll leave the rest of the members to make up their own mind. I'll just point out things that make NO sense, as this forum is for accurate information by GENUINE people

The first few things you listed could be said by someone who self-diagnosed. You shouldn't attack them for that, maybe encourage them to try treatment instead?

The "no wonder you're suicidal" bit is interesting though. I agree this person is suspicious.

Edit: Oof nevermind I just read that they said they had therapy for it and meds... But don't know their diagnosis????

 

[Whale_bones]

Seriously there are here 43 folks watching this right now and thinking it's everything is ok????
Ashamed on you for not having denounced this thread so far!!!I

I've reported three comments already. So others may be reporting as well. Hopefully Mods are just busy and things will be taken care of soon.

As for the topic of this post, I've had many therapy appointments and other mental health treatments of various types where the therapist, psychiatrist, or other professional didn't just announce my diagnosis/diagnoses to me. Some say it, some don't. Most people want to know their diagnosis, but if you're a quiet, anxious, and/or introverted person who doesn't usually ask questions during appointments in the first place, it's not unheard of that you wouldn't think to ask what your official, DSM-categorized diagnosis is. You might just assume based off of the topics they talk to you about and what kind of classes and other treatment they assign to you.

 

[quiet.rabbit]

suspicious lol, i guess for sum people it might not be so obvious. I'll leave others to determine what they think about the matter. I just provide the evidence!!

here's another suspicious post aswell......editing your post to now say that even though they haven't been diagnose, blah,blah.....Its ok though i know people that were in thread will have noticed this also

people on this site maybe ill,/ vulnerable STUPID they are not.

Is that last part directed at me? What exactly is suspicious about my edit?

 

[The Lonely]

 

[quiet.rabbit]

I wasn't talking about you!!!

"I've had SA since I was around 24 and it's gradually gotten worse."

a person does not make a claim like that, unless they KNOW what is up with them, otherwise why claim to KNOW you have an illness if you actually DON'T know.

And the fact of people posting about how someone might not know blah blah, only reinforces the fact that IF YOU DONT KNOW, why post about something.

so the people reporting me for comments, not a problem. but it is also in the rules to provide ACCURATE information, don't see them reporting people for that, this makes them a suspicious person aswell!!!

That applies to methods, not personal things. It takes time to discover yourself, no? It doesn't excuse your rude comments. Please abide by the rules of the site.

 

[Whale_bones]

here's another suspicious post aswell......editing your post to now say that even though they haven't been diagnose, blah,blah.....Its ok though i know people that were in thread will have noticed this also

I wasn't talking about you!!!
And the fact of people posting about how someone might not know blah blah, only reinforces the fact that IF YOU DONT KNOW, why post about something.

Yes, I did indeed edit my comment a few seconds after I posted it; I edited it because there was a "p" in front of the entire message. I don't know where that sneaky little letter p came from, but I felt it wasn't really neccesary for my post. So I edited it to the exact same thing, minus one floating "p" atop it all.
If people watching the thread noticed this, then they have a great eye and I compliment them on it! I… still don't feel that one letter p made -that- big of a difference to my message, but hey, if it helps, we can all imagine it's still there.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

To respond to the parts of the thread discussing diagnosis: A formal diagnosis is not always readily provided by healthcare services. In my country, I had to push for a diagnostic assessment and to have my official diagnosis recorded on my medical records. It took ten years to receive an accurate mental health diagnosis, after years of being fobbed off, brushed under the carpet, gaslit and neglected.

Recently, I also discovered that my doctor has "mixed depression and anxiety" as my primary diagnosis on their records. I asked to review their application for a specialist referral, following my local commissioners declining a request for funding and mentioning only depression and anxiety as my difficulties. This isn't my diagnosis at all. My currently diagnosed mental health conditions are Complex PTSD (although generalised anxiety, social anxiety and depression are certainly difficulties I struggle with as a direct consequence of the CPTSD, but this doesn't change the fact that CPTSD is my core issue and overarching diagnosis), BPD and OCD. Had I not requested these records, who knows how long inaccurate clinical information would have remained there and potentially harmed future efforts to acquire appropriate treatment.

Even now, my current set of conditions that have been diagnosed do not cover all of my psychological symptoms (and let's not even get started on physical conditions), hence having to consistently push for an assessment with a specialist service that has more expertise, particularly in complex trauma and dissociation.

I am certainly not the only one. I have encountered numerous individuals who had been misdiagnosed, had inconsistent records or no diagnosis at all, slipping through the cracks.

If in any doubt, there is no harm in @Debbie Northampton U asking for her medical records and for any diagnosis recorded on there. If information is missing or suspected to be incorrect, this way it can be challenged and she can insist on a full diagnostic assessment for Social Anxiety Disorder and related disorders from a psychiatrist. This would help to clear up any misinformation on either side, provide a clearer clinical picture and inform any treatment plans going forward. If it came to light that Debbie does not have SAD and fits the criteria for something else (that is not to suggest that she is being untruthful), it makes no sense for her to continue to be prescribed medication and therapy used for the treatment of SAD. If she has been diagnosed with SAD, she can consider if there could be comorbidities and/or review the remaining interventions available.

Immediately jumping to the conclusion that Debbie must have been lying all along - resulting in an entirely avoidable argument - isn't helpful for anyone in this thread. This dialogue seems to be tense, distressing and destabilising all around, which is a shame since this is intended to be a mutually supportive environment.

 

[Life_and_Death]

why not just stop responding? if they have nothing to respond to then they have nothing to say

 

[Life_and_Death]

as i know you are a genuine member, i respect what you say and so will listen to you!

wow really? i have so much bs that whenever someone mentioned 'fake members' i figured they were talking about me lol

 

[quiet.rabbit]

I wasn't talking about you ether lol. god what with the paranoia anyone would think you have something to hide!!

end of the day its this simple as this is exactly what going on here, people who post false information are this type of person...........

problem is with pro lifers is they think they are clever, until there mistakes get pointed out. so much effort in posting and reporting stuff, if only there freiends/relative received such attention. they wouldn't; be DEAD if they did. i bet they spend more time on here than at their graves aswell the loosers!!!

your CV says it all really

You can't be arsed with a relative /friend and let them CTB. you then come on a website they used to get help to CTB , which enhances even more the effect of the methods and reliability of methods.

you then show more attention than you ever did to a complete stranger, and think you can somehow help them

you must have the shittest job application i've ever heard. the bloods on your hands for not giving a fuck when you should of.

your comparable to a peadophile looking after kids, absolute useless!!!

You're reading too much into my previous reply. I simply thought that was directed at me since you were quoting only my post so all the "you"s that follow the quote are directed usually towards the person who wrote the quoted post. I asked out of confusion, not fear.

And you're doing it again. Who is this you in the second half of the post?! I really think you should log off and take a break...

 

[checkouttime]

wow really? i have so much bs that whenever someone mentioned 'fake members' i figured they were talking about me lol

well you've been around longer than 5mins for starters, and don't see you making negative comments about stuff all the time. so i think thats a good place to start.

I mean if you were posting negative stuff lall the time about methods i'm sure i would of noticed lol as would others!!!

 

[quiet.rabbit]

Its not an excuse to lie,manipulate and try to scare other members but people still try, I don't like vulnerable people taken advantage of. So if i'm not exactly polite ,then excuse me

How did they manipulate anybody? Are we even talking about the same person...?

 

[checkouttime]

You're reading too much into my previous reply. I simply thought that was directed at me since you were quoting only my post so all the "you"s that follow the quote are directed usually towards the person who wrote the quoted post. I asked out of confusion, not fear.

And you're doing it again. Who is this you in the second half of the post?! I really think you should log off and take a break...

lol i wasn't replying to you that time either!!! Anyway i'm going to listen to what Life_and_Death said, i've made my point. people can judge it how they like.

THE END

 

[Life_and_Death]

well you've been around longer than 5mins for starters, and don't see you making negative comments about stuff all the time. so i think thats a good place to start.

I mean if you were posting negative stuff lall the time about methods i'm sure i would of noticed lol as would others!!!

1 year in 2 days YAY FOR MY ANNIVERSARY lol

and i only say what i know. if i dont know they i qualify it with 'i think' or something like that. cant blame me if you take my advice on an i think lol