Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
the type of food doesnt matter. im not interested. i can be hungry, im not interested. it can be the best meal in the world and im still not interested.

husband: you need food pick something.

an entire grocery store at my disposal, im not interested.

how am i suppose to pick something i dont want??
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
for me,
food is a tool, it serves and that's all.
yeah but im not "hungry" this morning for breakfast i ate a few ice cubes then forced myself to eat 1 egg and 1 piece of toast. tool or not, i just dont want to eat anything to the point where i physically want to reject it. i dont, im not bulimic, just looking at food makes me feel physically sick
 
G

Ghost2211

Archangel
Jan 20, 2020
6,024
I generally don’t feel hunger. I know I’m hungry when my stomach feels like it’s compressing or something due to empty. I only eat when I have to, and even then there is few things I can eat. I wish I didn’t need to eat at all, but if I don’t my bp tanks and I lose tons of weight.

Trying to make someone with food issues eat is like handing a normal person a shoe and saying ”here eat this”. It just doesn’t work that way.
 
x~Sophia~x

x~Sophia~x

Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
Sep 10, 2020
1,363
How long have you been feeling like this? Have you always had problems eating, do you feel nauseaous or just not fancy anything?
Could it be due to a physical illness?
 
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Deleted member 23374

deministrator
Nov 1, 2020
648
yeah but im not "hungry" this morning for breakfast i ate a few ice cubes then forced myself to eat 1 egg and 1 piece of toast. tool or not, i just dont want to eat anything to the point where i physically want to reject it. i dont, im not bulimic, just looking at food makes me feel physically sick
Are shakes an option? i go to those when family starts nagging me. 1 shake a day and "there, i ate, now fuck off" not literally but the sentiment's there.
 
Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
How long have you been feeling like this? Have you always had problems eating, do you feel nauseaous or just not fancy anything?
Could it be due to a physical illness?
its not physical illness, its a complex eating disorder that does what it wants, i find it easier to just call myself a snacker instead of a meal person.

backstory

my parents "didnt let me eat", thats your brothers dont touch it bs, food running low after a week (out of 2) because stepfather needed his 12pack and they both needed their weed, so i refused to eat to feed my brothers, didnt eat lunch at school because i was embarrassed to, plus mother refused to stop making me lunch after gr6. and my first "attempts" (if thats what youll call them) was by starvation, and accused of stealing food in my own house (that i didnt even touch. who even knew you could steal food out of your own home, that one was a new one on me)

so yeah all that over the years kinda fucked up my eating habits in a bad way. and i often skimped on breakfast and sometimes supper (but that was more rare). when i did eat supper id hear "you didnt eat everything so you dont get dessert" at this point i was literally, im gonna throw up stuffed and because whoda thunk it people digest food id be hungry again in half an hour but because i didnt eat all my supper i must be full so i was refused food for the rest of the night (at which point i did start "stealing" after they went to sleep because fuck you im hungry)



to answer your other questions, years and i dont fancy anything but sometimes (like now) its to the point were i feel nauseous. sometimes even eating itself can make me feel sick and i need to take an anti nausant thing
 
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x~Sophia~x

x~Sophia~x

Always give 100% - unless you’re donating blood.
Sep 10, 2020
1,363
I have had a bad relationship with food since my mid teens when I stopped eating anything apart from plain cottage cheese and an apple for every meal. This was due to my boyfriend dumping me for another girl who was very skinny, (I wasn't fat, but I was certainly not slim either) and because he'd always told me that he loved my figure, I reckoned he must've been lying because he chose a skinny girl over me.
I soon began taking loads of laxatives alongside minimal food, but I'd also have times when I'd binge and get rid of it with the aid of laxatives.
My weight went below my ideal weight, my periods stopped and my parents booked me in to see a psychiatrist.
I was OK for a while, weight gradually increased again and after 10 months, periods started again.
Since then I've had periods of feast or famine and my weight has fluctuated between 7 stone and 19 stone, (size 6/8 to a size 24/26) I either starve myself or comfort eat, there's no middle ground and both very unhealthy.
 
waterstrider

waterstrider

cold
Nov 29, 2020
400
its not physical illness, its a complex eating disorder that does what it wants, i find it easier to just call myself a snacker instead of a meal person.

backstory

my parents "didnt let me eat", thats your brothers dont touch it bs, food running low after a week (out of 2) because stepfather needed his 12pack and they both needed their weed, so i refused to eat to feed my brothers, didnt eat lunch at school because i was embarrassed to, plus mother refused to stop making me lunch after gr6. and my first "attempts" (if thats what youll call them) was by starvation, and accused of stealing food in my own house (that i didnt even touch. who even knew you could steal food out of your own home, that one was a new one on me)

so yeah all that over the years kinda fucked up my eating habits in a bad way. and i often skimped on breakfast and sometimes supper (but that was more rare). when i did eat supper id hear "you didnt eat everything so you dont get dessert" at this point i was literally, im gonna throw up stuffed and because whoda thunk it people digest food id be hungry again in half an hour but because i didnt eat all my supper i must be full so i was refused food for the rest of the night (at which point i did start "stealing" after they went to sleep because fuck you im hungry)



to answer your other questions, years and i dont fancy anything but sometimes (like now) its to the point were i feel nauseous. sometimes even eating itself can make me feel sick and i need to take an anti nausant thing
Sounds like you have a really complicated relationship with food and your parents abused you by not giving you enough to eat.
I am really sorry you could never eat as much as your heart desired.
Maybe try implementing a mealplan with three meals a day and make it a habit to eat regularly.
Also you could start buying new food items and make taste tests and rate them like a game...maybe that makes food more fun.
Anyways, best of luck to you.
 
Conker

Conker

Specialist
Oct 22, 2019
330
yeah but im not "hungry" this morning for breakfast i ate a few ice cubes then forced myself to eat 1 egg and 1 piece of toast. tool or not, i just dont want to eat anything to the point where i physically want to reject it. i dont, im not bulimic, just looking at food makes me feel physically sick

I agree with you on eggs, they're really nasty. I would be cool with being a part-time breatharian.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
I agree with you on eggs, they're really nasty. I would be cool with being a part-time breatharian.
i like eggs.....i just dont like food in general
 
sadworld

sadworld

existence is a nightmare
Aug 25, 2020
3,870
I actually eat very well but I'm still underweight and I keep losing weight. Strange world.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
I actually eat very well but I'm still underweight and I keep losing weight. Strange world.
i wasnt/am not underweight but i went from being on the line of underweight to more in the center where i should be (speaking about the BMI chart) i dont feel over weight either but i do hate my physical appearance and although wont get surgery so i cant fix my face, when i get into my new place i do plan on getting a bunch of exercise equipment and putting the weight where i want it to go and for the more external problems A LOT of health care
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,379
I also have a complex relationship with food. I'm just not hungry most of the time, forget to eat, and most food is disgusting to me or I can't finsh it. I can only eat certain thing, like certain brands of food, snacks, condiments, which have a specific taste, otherwise I can't eat. I'm not concerned over my weight, when there's food I like I can eat a good amount of it, though even then I still have a small appetite. People don't really get it and it's stressful.
 
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LittleJem

Enlightened
Jul 3, 2019
1,869
Weed can help appetite if it works for you. I had no appetite for months - in my case anxiety/nausea/depression/guilt and weed helped me eat.

ps I’m so sorry about the way your family treated you. It brings tears to my eyes. You deserve so much better.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
I also have a complex relationship with food. I'm just not hungry most of the time, forget to eat, and most food is disgusting to me or I can't finsh it. I can only eat certain thing, like certain brands of food, snacks, condiments, which have a specific taste, otherwise I can't eat. I'm not concerned over my weight, when there's food I like I can eat a good amount of it, though even then I still have a small appetite. People don't really get it and it's stressful.
YES!!!! The first part sounds exactly like me. My stomach can grumble and I'll still forget to eat for a couple days. And even though I love cooking food itself no matter how good, I completely lack interest. I do have a brand thing for some items but I think that's mostly because they are just better. And you're right people don't get it. Everyone's so use to eating 3 full meals that God forbid someone has more of a snacking diet. :hug::heart:
Weed can help appetite if it works for you. I had no appetite for months - in my case anxiety/nausea/depression/guilt and weed helped me eat.

ps I’m so sorry about the way your family treated you. It brings tears to my eyes. You deserve so much better.
Actually I was just thinking last night while I was falling asleep that I need to stop using weed. It aggrivates my disorders and wakes up "the voices"

Thanks :hug::heart:
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

hey life! 🖕 🖕 right back at ya!
Jul 1, 2020
5,680
just thought id update this for anyone curious but mostly for my own records

i had about 1 1/2c - 2c of milk (lactose-free) with cheap (ew) strawberry syrup. i also "took" a couple small snacking piece of bacon out of the pan of food i was making for hubby. shortly after consuming this i felt like throwing up. this was about an hour ago. it got to the point were my throat was physically unwell. i had a roach sitting there so i figured id finish that off and see what happens, its just gonna get worse anyway. now the point of writing this...it didnt 100% help but i do feel a lot better and i think a tums could fix the rest of it.

thank you everyone for your concern :hug: :heart: i think finding a successful/easy way for me to microdose could be an answer