orpheus_
Member
- Apr 26, 2024
- 26
I have a friend who made my life a little less miserable. She was with me at my worst, when I was unable to function, took care of me and helped me to start getting medical help. Honestly I owe her my life. During the recent months.. I actually decided I want to live, although I have been planning to CTB for a few years.
But at the same time she has her own mental issues, mostly stemming from autism and severe trauma. I don't know if she's going to make it, honestly, because recent months have been very tough for her. I know she's contemplating CTB. I honestly see that there isn't much that can be done to improve her life... Way too much trauma. Way too much to work on, she needs years of therapy and perfect environment and that still might not be enough. I was lucky, medication worked for me and solved mamy of my issues, and I found a few things that make me want to hold on for longer. But she's not as lucky as me.
She knows this forum exists because I told her, but I never gave her the link. The thing is, seeing other people's suffering affects her a lot negatively and she probably shouldn't be here. Also this place is technically useless for her since she has her chosen method.
Anyway she's still trying to get better and I'm really proud of her. She has her... Well, original ways of coping with reality, but I'm glad there's anything. Like she's been drawing fish for the recent few months. She has drawn over 200 fish, really, we counted them.one day... and the number is still growing. She's been also giving drawings of these guys on little pieces of paper to strangers, to make their day better because it makes her feel better too.
Today she asked me to post this on this forum. She drew this fishes for the people here on SS, as a gift. So maybe people will feel a bit less alone, because at least there's some stranger thinking about them.
A message from her:
"I love these fishes with all my heart and I hope you will like them too. Wishing you all recovery, or if it's not possible - a peaceful death".
But at the same time she has her own mental issues, mostly stemming from autism and severe trauma. I don't know if she's going to make it, honestly, because recent months have been very tough for her. I know she's contemplating CTB. I honestly see that there isn't much that can be done to improve her life... Way too much trauma. Way too much to work on, she needs years of therapy and perfect environment and that still might not be enough. I was lucky, medication worked for me and solved mamy of my issues, and I found a few things that make me want to hold on for longer. But she's not as lucky as me.
She knows this forum exists because I told her, but I never gave her the link. The thing is, seeing other people's suffering affects her a lot negatively and she probably shouldn't be here. Also this place is technically useless for her since she has her chosen method.
Anyway she's still trying to get better and I'm really proud of her. She has her... Well, original ways of coping with reality, but I'm glad there's anything. Like she's been drawing fish for the recent few months. She has drawn over 200 fish, really, we counted them.one day... and the number is still growing. She's been also giving drawings of these guys on little pieces of paper to strangers, to make their day better because it makes her feel better too.
Today she asked me to post this on this forum. She drew this fishes for the people here on SS, as a gift. So maybe people will feel a bit less alone, because at least there's some stranger thinking about them.
A message from her:
"I love these fishes with all my heart and I hope you will like them too. Wishing you all recovery, or if it's not possible - a peaceful death".
Your friend's sentiment towards others, how much you care about them and the beautiful fishies. 
