First suicide thoughts

[Aliali1992]

I notice that most people here have wanted to kill themselves for years, or at least had suicidal thoughts in the past. I never had serious suicidal thoughts until a major depressive episode before 6 months. Soon i will do it. But i am astonished how quickly it evolved since i've always had some hope inspite of my personality disorder. Are there people who are newly suicidal and never had such serious thoughts before and want to carry on with it?

 

[Darkhaven]

Me.
Suicidal thoughts started almost 2 years ago as a result of a disease that i got.
Never had them before.

 

[YukiFox]

Since 15 years old I had suicidal thoughts. I was searching the reasons why since then. In fact, I was a pro life several years since the impact of the suicide of a college friend, but in 2018 I gave up and stop judging the act. I'm don't feel a urgently need to do it (Since I'm more focused in achieve my gender transition rather than saying goodbye) but in 16 years I had a serious episodes of thoughts. I'll keep going and I hope I can being happy as trans woman.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Ive the thoughts as a teenager. But its only the last few months its come back and this time its not just a thought.
Ironically as i write this im going over the bridge, which was part of my journey when i had my first full blown mental breakdown last year that set me on this final path.

 

[k75]

Yeah, I spent most of my life not suicidal at all. I don't have a history of attempts, if you ignore an early teenage freakout. The ideation started creeping in after I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a series of botched surgeries 10 years ago and escalated from there, but it didn't turn into a serious and consuming thing until last year. That's the first time ever I found myself making actual plans and gathering supplies. As of right now, the thoughts are constant and relentless, and it's not getting better.

 

[terry_a_davis]

first 10 years ago, then went away, then resurfaced last year hence me joining this site.

 

[TVtrays]

I've had them since I was 13, so 10-11 years I've had them.