• Hey Guest,

    An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.

    Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.

    Read more about the situation here: Click to View Post

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d3j3ct3dl0s3r05

d3j3ct3dl0s3r05

i am so lainpilled :3 (? days left)
Apr 15, 2023
264
Idk what to write but here's a swaggy epic summary!! (in point form so it's easier to read)
  • 18f
  • Grew up in physically/emotionally abusive lower-middle class single-parent household
  • Formerly a "gifted" child with "high potential"; now dropped out halfway through final year of school and have had to abandon numerous leadership and extracurricular opportunities and dreams of attending a prestigious uni
  • CTB ideation since 7 years old (has gotten significantly worse since 10/11)
  • Have been placed in 2 psych wards (as of now)
  • Poor self esteem/body dysmorphia (feeling unfeminine b/c of nose, height, weight, teeth etc)
  • Started engaging in SH from 10 (clean for a few months now tho)
  • Accused of being "demon possessed" when things started getting worse around 13 (severe school anxiety/declining attendance, outbursts etc)
  • Have always struggled with social skills and basic human interaction
  • Have let myself be basically s*xually abused by older strangers online so they didn't abandon me
  • Lived with other parent for a bit but that situation ended up becoming stressful so had to leave (strict academic standards, wasn't allowed therapy or a job, regularly felt like i didn't belong there, told that "if i kms, nobody would care", blamed for things i didn't do, called a "parasite" despite being a literal child/teen)
  • Have suspected autism for a while now but idk if I could do anything since parents are uncooperative (has been suspected by multiple mental health professionals but nothing i can do; would rather not be alive than live with autism under my current circumstances)
  • Cost-of-living is awful so I'd probably have to move to another city to be able to escape current home
  • Overall just feeling like a bum/waste-of-space/failure

I've lurked here for a couple months now but have generally been too scared to post anything for fear of rejection and criticism for not being "positive". Ik it may seem irrational considering this is a pro-CTB forum and all but I guess these fears were based upon what happens whenever I try to seek help irl. I turned 18 pretty recently and thought things would magically change but I guess not. I finally have some semblance of a social circle, however, I'm not close enough with anyone to talk about my problems. I have been considering ending it recently and have been looking into purchasing stuff needed for my desired CTB method since I've just given up on my tragic/worthless existence, however, I hope to make some like-minded friends on SS in my final weeks or potentially days :)
 
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U

unique snowflake

Member
Aug 19, 2023
19
I'm terribly sorry, i'm so sorry.
You've gone through a lot of pain, I hope you can find the peace you dream of.
 
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lemonbunny

lemonbunny

daydreaming the pain away ☆.。.:*・°
Sep 9, 2023
243
ah fellow member of the former gifted child club >.<
i am so sorry life has dealt you all that trauma and led you to this place. hopefully you feel some comfort and acceptance here where you haven't in other spaces <3
 
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d3j3ct3dl0s3r05

d3j3ct3dl0s3r05

i am so lainpilled :3 (? days left)
Apr 15, 2023
264
ah fellow member of the former gifted child club >.<
i am so sorry life has dealt you all that trauma and led you to this place. hopefully you feel some comfort and acceptance here where you haven't in other spaces <3
thanks i appreciate it<3333 (gifted child club to terminally online depressed person pipeline is real)
 
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Dogged fellow

Dogged fellow

Member
Aug 25, 2023
10
You have gone trough a lot but for now at least let me congratulate you on not SH-ing for a while thats something to be proud of. To be honest you seem to be living in a very toxic environment if you get any chance i really recomend trying to get away from them as soon as possible. If you ever feel the need to talk to someone on a more personal basis i'd gladly talk to you even tho i 100% understand that that could make you uncomfortable concidering your past encounters with others online. In the end try to make the decisions that will most likely lead to your happiness i believe you can do it as toxic as it is right now it can get better.


About the cost of living thing i'd argue that moving farther away might be a good thing for now as it could created some distance which i see as beneficial, from the way this reads you never really got the option to freely develope. In the end i sincerely hope you can better your situation and as i said if you want to talk i'll definitly listen.
 
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