Finding Peace after making the Big Decision

[thinkkank]

A lot of people close to me won't understand why I made the decision to do what I did, but I feel it is the right thing to do. I am at peace with the decision. There's no fear or doubt. I am okay with the end.
There is this strange acceptance that comes with knowing that it's going to end. I thought the last moments would be full of pain and depression, but there is only calm and acceptance. Does anyone feel this?

 

[death137]

I'm also at peace with my decision but the problem is the feeling when you are about to do the act. You will be scared especially if you are going to use a violent method. Death is peace but dying isn't in most cases.

 

[justanotherstar]

Yea I feel very much at peace with my decision, this is very common but as death137 said doing the act can feel very different and bring up all sorts of emotions

 

[TAW122]

I have felt a similar thing in the past before, especially when there is a critical time where a factor will affect whether I die or not.

 

[AutoTap]

I felt this way up until I was in the process of ctb. It was scary

 

[angelfeather]

I also have a sense of peace and calmness about my decision to end my life. I also accept my life is coming to an end soon. Although I don't know how I will feel on the day, I have to believe and have hope that I will carry it through.

 

[mirko]

I believe others don't have to understand why someone decides to ends their life, I mean they can try but they will never grasp the reasons someone decided to take that extreme choice. In the end, they can only accept it.

 

[Kruger]

I'm also at peace with my decision but the problem is the feeling when you are about to do the act. You will be scared especially if you are going to use a violent method. Death is peace but dying isn't in most cases.

Well said

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

i'm at peace and the people who want me dead are so upset about it

 

[thinkkank]

I felt this way up until I was in the process of ctb. It was scary

what was the process like? was there nausea and headaches?

 

[AutoTap]

what was the process like? was there nausea and headaches?

No I just realized I wasn't ready and wasn't able to go through with it because of survival instinct. Instead I had a panic attack and threw up.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

No I just realized I wasn't ready and wasn't able to go through with it because of survival instinct. Instead I had a panic attack and threw up.

Were you using SN method? I'm sorry you had to go through the failed attempt and deal with the symptoms like panic. I know that one is terrifying and can even feel like a heart attack/smothering.


I think the best way to be at peace is to CTB in a nice locale. The problem is many people who would want to CTB aren't going to have a way to get to one. Sure the local park might be scenic but you're gonna be found there unless you do it at like 3AM and actually in many countries there are park patrols for late hours. In US some parks the cops run around checking every known spot with their bright car lights so unless you could go really off the beaten path you may be saved

 

[torimandy]

It is so hard to make peace, as I feel wonderful being the person I am now. I know how wonderful the world could be if I just had the support of a family. Then I know I will never get that support, and that society deems me a freak and a peice of shit and I understand why there can be no other option of ending my pain.

 

[AutoTap]

Were you using SN method? I'm sorry you had to go through the failed attempt and deal with the symptoms like panic. I know that one is terrifying and can even feel like a heart attack/smothering.


I think the best way to be at peace is to CTB in a nice locale. The problem is many people who would want to CTB aren't going to have a way to get to one. Sure the local park might be scenic but you're gonna be found there unless you do it at like 3AM and actually in many countries there are park patrols for late hours. In US some parks the cops run around checking every known spot with their bright car lights so unless you could go really off the beaten path you may be saved

I was attempting partial hanging

Were you using SN method? I'm sorry you had to go through the failed attempt and deal with the symptoms like panic. I know that one is terrifying and can even feel like a heart attack/smothering.


I think the best way to be at peace is to CTB in a nice locale. The problem is many people who would want to CTB aren't going to have a way to get to one. Sure the local park might be scenic but you're gonna be found there unless you do it at like 3AM and actually in many countries there are park patrols for late hours. In US some parks the cops run around checking every known spot with their bright car lights so unless you could go really off the beaten path you may be saved

ISN was method of choice but my parents found it in the mail and dumped it.

 

[shay23]

I know I am going to do it but I'm scared af.

 

[Endeavour]

I know I am going to do it but I'm scared af.

It's horrible isn't it? I am having a really bad day today and don't want to be here any more, but the final step of actually ending it all is terrifying.

Strangely being dead doesn't worry me at all, it's the actual doing it that's the issue.

I feel like I'm going to go crazy I feel so anxious and depressed today, I just can't see a future at all and want to get it over with.

But I'm struggling to do it.

 

[shay23]

It's horrible isn't it? I am having a really bad day today and don't want to be here any more, but the final step of actually ending it all is terrifying.

Strangely being dead doesn't worry me at all, it's the actual doing it that's the issue.

I feel like I'm going to go crazy I feel so anxious and depressed today, I just can't see a future at all and want to get it over with.

But I'm struggling to do it.

I feel exactly the same!! Here if you need to talk, you are not alone in this feeling.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, that peaceful sensation seems to be normal among us.
I mean, we're going to die, there's nothing left, we'll just...stop existing! Damn, that's weird.

Some might believe there's an afterlife, heaven, paradise, etc. I guess dying might be harder for that kind of people.

 

[Symbiote]

I felt the same way on my previous attempt. General acceptance of what I'm about to do and that I'm comfortable with my actions. Today, I still feel the same way for both life and death. I am comfortable with my actions to keep on living, but also knowing that I have an option to die whenever I please.

 

[Johnjohn1]

I am a little more scared of the actual act then passing away although I am Catholic and I am very scared about going to hell. I have severe chronic pain and it is simply unsustainable to keep going day after day that's my pain meds don't work that well and my pain is intolerable. I pray that God has Mercy for people like me.

 

[the_final_countdown]

I am a little more scared of the actual act then passing away although I am Catholic and I am very scared about going to hell. I have severe chronic pain and it is simply unsustainable to keep going day after day that's my pain meds don't work that well and my pain is intolerable. I pray that God has Mercy for people like me.

If it's any consolation, there's no line in the Bible that says people who commit suicide go to Hell.

That's something the Catholic Church implemented, but as far as I know it's not part of Scripture.

I believe God forgives all sins, except blasphemy against the spirit, and even then, I'm not sure there's a limit to His mercy and love.

But nobody knows what really happens at the end.

All we can do is pray for forgiveness.

 

[Nodscene]

Maybe I'm the odd one out but I felt no fear and was at peace the 2 times I tried. Maybe it was the timing as I feel a little nervous about my next attempt. Of course I don't know if that's because I can't afford to fail this time so there is a lot more pressure or that I know there is a chance of failure that I didn't expect before.

I guess I wish I didn't have a clock ticking down this time where before it was more organic.

 

[awfullife]

Were you using SN method? I'm sorry you had to go through the failed attempt and deal with the symptoms like panic. I know that one is terrifying and can even feel like a heart attack/smothering.


I think the best way to be at peace is to CTB in a nice locale. The problem is many people who would want to CTB aren't going to have a way to get to one. Sure the local park might be scenic but you're gonna be found there unless you do it at like 3AM and actually in many countries there are park patrols for late hours. In US some parks the cops run around checking every known spot with their bright car lights so unless you could go really off the beaten path you may be saved

Not if you use Gun Shot

 

[Intotheflames]

After years of contemplating of the afterlife and the aftermath, planning without taking action, playing out the scenarios in my head, I was kinda excited the day I took action.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I also am being more at peace now with my decision. I use to feel even worse about it however I'm at peace now. Just living out these last months paying off my debts. I been distracted for some years since I became suicidal in 2018. Wish I was wiser earlier and came to this conclusion during high school however now I realize I haven't had the chance. So mind as well live these last few months up.

Life has been nothing but misery. I am at such peace knowing death is coming for me. My life has been ruled by nothing but misery because of incurable acne disease. Trauma from verbal abuse, trauma from assaults years ago. And it hurt my social development and therefore I'm socially anxious there is no way I can survive as a social being being unsociable . I can never feel the same and be the same inside. It's too hard for me to interact with this world and instead I just shut everything out. I'm going to be free! Finally!

 

[FuneralCry]

I do feel at peace with it, I know that ctb for me is inevitable. I believe there is nothing after this life and I take great comfort from that. Non existence is an ideal state for me, free of the burdens of existence. However the fact that it is hard to die is the one thing that holds me back though and the SI and the fact that methods can go wrong.