Venting finally made the decision, debating on what method

[narayana0121]

A bit of backstory, hope I'm not just rambling:
About a year ago, I found this site. It was my first year in college, but i made basically no friends or connections. But, I though I could improve, and left this site for a year.
But here I am now, back again. Still lonely, still without anyone. The few friends I made I haven't interacted with in three weeks, so they're gone now too.
Throughout my whole life, Ive struggled with social anxiety. I never fit in with anyone else. I never made friends in grade school either. I was the one who sat in the bathroom or the library during lunch in high school.
I am now 20 whole years old, its impossible for me to change now. If i choose to continue, I'm just gonna be a shut in for the rest of my life.

I've decided that I want to end it before the end of this college semester, preferably before final exams since I've fallen behind on studying these past few weeks. I have some money saved and might buy the shotgun mentioned in the firearms thread, but it just seems so terrifying, like what if I blow off my whole face and somehow fail, and have to live disfigured forever? The other method might be partial hanging or sn if i can somehow get it, but this seems like such a weak way to go.

 

[FuneralCry]

The thought of trying to die going wrong and leading to worse suffering terrifies me as well. But anyway I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best of luck.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I'm sorry for what you've been through. I hope you find peace soon regardless of what you do

 

[ranii118]

it must have been very hard for u. i hope u find peace in whichever choice u choose.

 

[LunarLight]

I've decided that I want to end it before the end of this college semester, preferably before final exams since I've fallen behind on studying these past few weeks. I have some money saved and might buy the shotgun mentioned in the firearms thread, but it just seems so terrifying, like what if I blow off my whole face and somehow fail, and have to live disfigured forever? The other method might be partial hanging or sn if i can somehow get it, but this seems like such a weak way to go.

According to the chart on lostallhope.com (now closed, thanks pro-lifers), the method "shotgun to head" is the most efficient of all with 99% lethality. If you do it right, i.e., aim for the brainstem, you won't feel anything. One moment you're in, the next moment you're out.

 

[narayana0121]

According to the chart on lostallhope.com (now closed, thanks pro-lifers), the method "shotgun to head" is the most efficient of all with 99% lethality. If you do it right, i.e., aim for the brainstem, you won't feel anything. One moment you're in, the next moment you're out.

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Thank you for your reply. This might just be the way that I go. I hate that I have to buy a whole shotgun though and wish I could just get a more convenient handgun, but sadly Georgia laws don't allow for that until you're over 21.
The only thing left for me to decide would be a place to do it. I don't want my family members having to deal with my bloody disfigured remains, and burden them physically or emotionally anymore than i have to.
Maybe I'll drive to a remote place on the interstate at night and do it off the side of the highway, seems reasonable enough. Definitely gonna buy a few drinks beforehand though to take the edge off.

 

[LunarLight]

Thank you for your reply. This might just be the way that I go. I hate that I have to buy a whole shotgun though and wish I could just get a more convenient handgun, but sadly Georgia laws don't allow for that until you're over 21.
The only thing left for me to decide would be a place to do it. I don't want my family members having to deal with my bloody disfigured remains, and burden them physically or emotionally anymore than i have to.
Maybe I'll drive to a remote place on the interstate at night and do it off the side of the highway, seems reasonable enough. Definitely gonna buy a few drinks beforehand though to take the edge off.

Yeah but shotguns are much more lethal than handguns. If you wanna make sure you CTB, a shotgun is advised.