Finally, at last, I have successfully obtained my method!
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I filled out the paperwork and passed the background check (took less than 2 minutes), the transaction went as smooth as I could ever ask, the clerk said I got a good deal (and he is right about that) and I finally can breathe easy! I don't think I will ctb yet but I can at least relax knowing that there is a way out, if things ever gotten to it, an tool for home defense if I ever encounter such a situation, and of course, a new tool for recreation if I ever decide to take up target shooting.
So thank you for everyone that has helped me with this and special thanks to Threads for his megathread and suggestions, TiredHorse for all his suggestions as well, and ReadyasEver along with anyone with firearms knowledge. I'm still going to be around here with everyone since I like the interaction with other fellow members on this site and forum and this is also a safe haven for me to vent, cope, and what not. Plus, there are lots of great philosophical and intellectual discussions about suicide, death, and right of choice. This site is better than seeing a mental health professional, therapist, psychiatrist, and what not, at least for me it does. Anyways, stay tuned for another thread about the future.