Help Female-Only Forum?

[lacrimosa]

If there was a female-only section, would there be a mass exodus of females? If so, then don't do it as we need the balance of both genders, or the 'feminine touch'. I don't want this to be a place with all guys! And I don't mean the feminine touch as in the 1940s definition either. I mean it as in the feminine perspective.

 

[Traveller12724]

I have to say that although I really do understand your need for a female only place to avoid ridiculous male opinions, it does sadden me that the few ridiculous men you guys have encountered have tarnished the reputation of all men in your eyes even though most of us men are actually reasonable and civilized people who can partake in any debate in an appropriate and open minded manner. I hope you guys really don't write off all men as evil or ridiculous because that would be a hasty generalization.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

You can start the topic of a thread with "[Women-only]" if you don't want to hear anything from men. If there are going to be hateful comments, report them.

I like this idea.

I have to say that although I really do understand your need for a female only place to avoid ridiculous male opinions, it does sadden me that the few ridiculous men you guys have encountered have tarnished the reputation of all men in your eyes even though most of us men are actually reasonable and civilized people who can partake in any debate in an appropriate and open minded manner. I hope you guys really don't write off all men as evil or ridiculous because that would be a hasty generalization.

Please do not minimize by saying things like "few" and "hasty" — predators systematically protect each other in all kinds of spaces, pretty much all of them, in order to keep on abusing. Any generalization made by any persons is not necessarily hasty, but typically backed up with years of first hand experience and endless anecdotal experience from all corners of the globe.

 

[AmericanMary]

I have to say that although I really do understand your need for a female only place to avoid ridiculous male opinions, it does sadden me that the few ridiculous men you guys have encountered have tarnished the reputation of all men in your eyes even though most of us men are actually reasonable and civilized people who can partake in any debate in an appropriate and open minded manner. I hope you guys really don't write off all men as evil or ridiculous because that would be a hasty generalization.

If there was a female-only section, would there be a mass exodus of females? If so, then don't do it as we need the balance of both genders, or the 'feminine touch'. I don't want this to be a place with all guys! And I don't mean the feminine touch as in the 1940s definition either. I mean it as in the feminine perspective.

 

[lacrimosa]

Yeah, that sucks that it has come to this, but if misogyny is this rampant here then you deserve a safe space! Wishing it wasn't this way. Thanks for the song!

 

[Traveller12724]

You are right, I definitely can't argue with that, can't even imagine or pretend to know, I do understand however. Thanks for sharing the song.

 

[Timothy7dff]

What about forums divided by race, too? We Asians have our own struggle and we dont' need white people bringing us down. This miserable world is run by white people. We should have a safe space from them.

 

[astr4]

What about forums divided by race, too? We Asians have our own struggle and we dont' need white people bringing us down. This miserable world is run by white people. We should have a safe space from them.

for shits and giggles i'll pretend you're asking in good faith

asians aren't a monolith and you pick out random asians from different societies they will face different issues. a forum divided by ethnicity or nationality would be more relevant in that context. women, however, pretty universally, struggle with misogyny.

 

[sugarb]

so binary

Honestly, who cares?

OP doesn't want dudes under her posts sometimes and segregating SaSu would be dumb, let her find somewhere else. Big whoop, less gender warring.

 

[Minsu]

What about forums divided by race, too? We Asians have our own struggle and we dont' need white people bringing us down. This miserable world is run by white people. We should have a safe space from them.

Well I support creating a women only forum. But I lean a bit towards your opinion regarding miserable world caused by white people tbh

 

[RoadBLOCK]

What is your problem with lesbian women and the LGBT community in general??

You seem to be a very ancient person and your mind is from the Middle Ages. I hope you burn in hell for your hatred of this good society, what selfish person you are

 

[opheliaoveragain]

Yeah, that sucks that it has come to this, but if misogyny is this rampant here then you deserve a safe space! Wishing it wasn't this way. Thanks for the song!

I have no feelings of misogyny, esp related to this site, at least not yet. I just think that there are certain physical things that tie directly into mental things for femme individuals that a dedicated thread would be beneficial for. I don't foresee it turning into some breeding ground for hating the men on this site. I doubt that many of us feel that way, and while wayward comments always get mixed in no matter the environment, I doubt this was OP's intention in bringing it up.

I have no feelings of misogyny, esp related to this site, at least not yet. I just think that there are certain physical things that tie directly into mental things for femme individuals that a dedicated thread would be beneficial for. I don't foresee it turning into some breeding ground for hating the men on this site. I doubt that many of us feel that way, and while wayward comments always get mixed in no matter the environment, I doubt this was OP's intention in bringing it up.

But also this thread got really long while I was gone and I may have missed some key things. Not out to offend anyone regardless of gender ID.

for shits and giggles i'll pretend you're asking in good faith

asians aren't a monolith and you pick out random asians from different societies they will face different issues. a forum divided by ethnicity or nationality would be more relevant in that context. women, however, pretty universally, struggle with misogyny.

TBH I think a ton of people would benefit from country specific sticky threads, and this is not for racial/political reasons really at all IMO, I'd understand people in the same country to country sitch might want to connect more easily. Sourcing and many different things are vastly different in varying countries. It could also help people in the same country confirm info for each other directly if they so choose.

 

[astr4]

1. Is this a joke? If so, it's unfunny as hell. Leave.
2. If it isn't, you should take your meds and get the fuck off my page, Schizo. Nowhere in this post did I ever express hatred towards the LGBTQ community or for women. It's like you people get off on leaving pointless shit under my posts that have absolutely nothing to do with me. "Hatred of this good society," MY ASS. I don't want to deal with you people anymore. Invest in a diary or take a detour to Suicide Discussion. I look forward to seeing your username crossed out one day. Fucking choke.

i thought they were trying to reply to someone else but now i'm just confused LOL

 

[FERAL_FRENZY]

i thought they were trying to reply to someone else but now i'm just confused LOL

I'd be lenient if this was the first time this ever happened to me. People seem to have a thing for projecting their irrelevant opinions onto my posts out of the blue. I could post a grocery list on here and someone'll probably hurl vitriol at me for buying more eggs than the average person. Some bitch came in here spewing SLURS for Christ's sake. I'm tired. Like just give me a SaSu alternative and be on your way.

 

[AmericanMary]

I have no feelings of misogyny, esp related to this site, at least not yet. I

hahahha I do. I feel like we have fights about misogyny every day in the chat rooms on here. It is easy To say I have a very short fuse for this & will quickly jump into these discussions. I do not start (most) of them.

also men have said some really horrible things on here. Some directed at me & the virtual homies.

Edit: while there have been some shitty people I've encountered here & at times this website has made me feel a lot worse, there have been a lot of beneficial things too. It's been my entire community for the last 3 months. I have connected like crazy with some people. It's a coping mechanism. A place to freely talk & feel accepted (mostly).

 

[opheliaoveragain]

hahahha I do. I feel like we have fights about misogyny every day in the chat rooms on here. It is easy To say I have a very short fuse for this & will quickly jump into these discussions. I do not start (most) of them.

also men have said some really horrible things on here. Some directed at me & the virtual homies.

Edit: while there have been some shitty people I've encountered here & at times this website has made me feel a lot worse, there have been a lot of beneficial things too. It's been my entire community for the last 3 months. I have connected like crazy with some people. It's a coping mechanism. A place to freely talk & feel accepted (mostly).

Your feelings are valid as fuck. Hence my use of yet, because I believe this type of behavior is a matter of time, IMO.

 

[sugarb]

It's actually mostly one white-looking community in particular.

dawg are you talking about Jewish people what the fuck

 

[Dot]

Ok

Mods hve bn dscussng ths

Thre r spport mga-threds fr othr grps & demgraphcs s/ thre = nt n.e specfc reasn Y a womn thred shld nt happn if = b-ing specfclly requstd

Ppl talkng abt Asn threds & evry othr demgraphc tht thy cn thnk of -- kp in mnd tht threds r only mde whn a cmmunty = organclly devlpng on th/ ste & if havng a thred hlps t/ spport a commn plce t/ dscuss shard issus - cmmunty threds r nevr mde ideolgclly

A commn-snse apprch nds t/ happn othrwse ppl gttng offendd fr 0 reasn wll ask Y thre = nt a grp fr ppl wh/ only lke eatng blu Skttles

Thre = alrdy a thred fr dscussng trnsgendr-specfc issus bt tht cn alwys b broadnd t/ widr LGBTQ+ if usrs wld b ok wth tht - am nt sre Y askng fr womn spce = cnsidrd 2 b hmophobc bcse hmosexul womn xist

Thre r sme cncerns frm ths hwevr whch nd 2 b takn in2 accnt

Havng peer-spport mgathreds hs nevr bn an issu bt fr sme reasn womn askng fr thr own thred cre8tes a reactn & deb8 whch hs nt happnd on th/ sme scle as n.e othr threds wth pssble xceptn of whn oldr membrs askd fr a spce t/ cme 2gthr bt tbf tht reactn ws miniml - c-ing th/ reactn as bn smewht ds-heartnng -- am nt sre Y womn slf-advoc8tng & askng fr a spce nds 2 b sch an offnsve idea t/ ppl & gt sch reactnry rsponss

Mods d/ nt wnt th/ cmmunty t/ bcme isolatnst & dvided or triblistc - ths = prbbly th/ biggst cncern bcse havng mn & womn tlk 2gthr hlps t/ prevnt xtremst vws & cmmntis frm devlpng

Also gendr wrs hve sdly bn an issu on th/ ste fr lng tme & thy tke up a lt of mod tme & Nergy

If thre r spport threds fr 'mn only' & 'womn only' thn wht r chancs of thse b-ing breedng grnds fr eithr mysndry / radclisatn or red-pll contnt t/ floursh

S/ insted of 'mn-only' & 'womn-only' mods hve cnsidrd makng spport threds fr dscussng 'mn issus' & 'womn issus'

Whtevr = dcided threds wld obvsly b inclusve t/ trns & nn-binry membrs

S/ thse spport threds cld ptentlly b cre8td as an xpermnt 2 C whthr or nt thy bcme a sh*t-shw in th/ 1st dy bt agn mods r awre of hw mch xtra tme & Nergy wld b needd t/ implmnt thse threds

 

[rainwillneverstop]

Dot's message translated:

Ok.

Mods have been discussing this.

There are support mega-threads for other groups and demographic so there is not any specific reason, why a woman thread should not happen if it's being specifically requested.

People talking about Asian threads and every other demographic that they can think of - keep in mind that threads are only made when a community is organically developing on the site and if having a thread helps to support a common place to discuss shared issues - community threads are never made ideologically.

A common-sense approach needs to happen, otherwise people getting offended for 0 reason will ask why there is not a group for people who only like eating blue skittles.

There are already a thread for discussing transgender-specific issues, but that can always be broadened to wider LGBTQ+ if users would be ok with that - I'm not sure why asking for women space is considered to be homophobic because homosexual women exist.

There are some concerns from this however, which needs to be taken into account.

Having peer-support megathreads has never been an issue, but for some reason, women asking for their own thread creates a reactions and debate which has not happened on the same scale as any other threads. With the possible exception of when older members asked for a space to come together, but tbf that reaction was minimal - seeing the reaction has been somewhat disheartening. I'm not sure why women self-advocating and asking for a space needs to be such an offensive idea to people, and get such reactionary responses.

Mods do not want the community to become isolationist and divided, or tribalistic. This is probably the biggest concern because having men and women talk together helps to prevent extremist views, and communities from developing.

Also gender wars have sadly been an issue on the site for a long time, and they take up a lot of mod time and energy.

If there are support threads for "men only" and "women only" then what are chances of these being breeding grounds for either misandry/radicalisation or red-pill content to flourish.

So instead of "men only" and "women only," mods have considered making support threads for discussing "men issues" and "women issues."

Whatever is decided, threads would obviously be inclusive to trans and non-binary members.
So these support threads could potentially be created as an experiement to see whether or not they become a shit-show in the first day. But again, mods are aware of how much extra time and energy would be needed to implement these threads.

 

[Downdraft]

Mods do not want the community to become isolationist and divided, or tribalistic. This is probably the biggest concern because having men and women talk together helps to prevent extremist views, and communities from developing.

If there are support threads for "men only" and "women only" then what are chances of these being breeding grounds for either misandry/radicalisation or red-pill content to flourish.

THIS.

I don't have anything against a thread about specific issues, but I'm concerned the forum would be more divided and radicalized. Restricting threads from other opinions invariably leads to radicals of either side, and the forum getting less supportive and relatable.

I'm not sure why women self-advocating and asking for a space needs to be such an offensive idea to people, and get such reactionary responses.

It isn't, people seem to be tired of the "all men are abusers" mentality. While I don't mind, it's maybe another issue.

Any generalization made by any persons is not necessarily hasty, but typically backed up with years of first hand experience and endless anecdotal experience from all corners of the globe.

---

why there is not a group for people who only like eating blue skittles.

Ok, but seriously, can we have a blue skittles group tho?

 

[Kalista]

this will only create segregation. i don't like a lot of the ignorance that occurs in here, but doesn't mean i'd request to separate people to create an 'ideal place' as much as i want to for reasons below. it's a conflicting issue.

it's already a shit world out there. women aren't the only one suffering even though historically they have dealt with a lot. men also have issues within their own gender as they are expected to be a certain way. opinions between genders must be seen and heard to somehow bridge the gap where ignorance stems from. being able to see how men and women think and respond theoretically is a better approach so that we can understand each other better, despite the aggressive approach some may take.

i think problems will arise even if the threads are renamed as 'men issues' and 'women issues' due to the fact that not all men and women think the same. i imagine on the men's side, easily there will be people spewing their toxic masculinity. i guess in this case, it'll just be mostly funneled in a single thread if they do decide to respond.
there's an image, an expectation, that you can see just by reading 'men issues' and 'women issues.' by having these threads exist in here will only enforce how one gender is supposed to think when that's already happening all over the damn world.

i understand that it doesn't stop the already existing social issues men and women all face out there. yet this forum is primarily meant as a safe space for suicidal people. taking a neutral approach regarding gender issues should be the route taken, not this.

 

[sugarb]

Ok, but seriously, can we have a blue skittles group tho?

Absolutely not, they suck ass and the green ones are much better.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

How could even be made sure that only women can post in such a thread? The forum is anonymous.

 

[rainwillneverstop]

How could even be made sure that only women can post in such a thread? The forum is anonymous.

I guess it would work the same way as the +40 chat, and +30 support thread which is based on trust.
And if people misuse it, it should be somewhat easily identifiable so I am not too worried for that personally, but a valid consideration.

 

[Downdraft]

How could even be made sure that only women can post in such a thread? The forum is anonymous.

Making it "x gender issues" rather than "x gender only", SPECIALLY when they plan to create a male equivalent.

If this threads get created:

Don't ever ban women from discussion in a forum created by hardcore incels. I can tell the result.

 

[Dot]

It isn't, people seem to be tired of the "all men are abusers" mentality. While I don't mind, it's maybe another issue.

N.e threds wld stll b modr8td & genrlisatns r challngd & warnd regulrly - xtremst rhetorc wld stll nt b allowd

Slf hve persnlly witnessd a womn makng a thred seekng spport frm othr womn bcse of thr SA & thr subsqunt fear of mn & almst immedi8tly mn startd postng & invald8tng hr xperncs & sayng 'wht abt us' - tht lck of respct ws diffclt t/ wtch & membrs shld b allowd t/ tlk sfely abt thr persnl xperncs w/o b-ing steamrolld - s/ slf undrstnd Y a spce hs bn requstd

If thse mn wn2 tlk abt thr own strggles thn no1 = stoppng thm frm doin tht eithr - slf jst C mre xampls of xperncs b-ing shard in reacntry fashn rathr thn jst openng up & dscussng bcse thy wnt spport wth thr strggls

 

[Dot]

Making it "x gender issues" rather than "x gender only", SPECIALLY when they plan to create a male equivalent.

If this threads get created:

Don't ever ban women from discussion in a forum created by hardcore incels. I can tell the result.

Th/ ste b-ing cre8td b/ incls = irrelvnt tho

Th/ ppl runng & modr8tng th/ ste in th/ currnt dy r nt incls

 

[Downdraft]

Slf hve persnlly witnessd a womn makng a thred seekng spport frm othr womn bcse of thr SA & thr subsqunt fear of mn & almst immedi8tly mn startd postng & invald8tng hr xperncs & sayng 'wht abt us' - tht lck of respct ws diffclt t/ wtch & membrs shld b allowd t/ tlk sfely abt thr persnl xperncs w/o b-ing steamrolld - s/ slf undrstnd Y a spce hs bn requstd

Yeah, but it isn't the case I pointed out I mean, and I'm also aware men can be extremely unsavory...

Th/ ppl runng & modr8tng th/ ste in th/ currnt dy r nt incls

There are tons of remnants of those days, and probably has more potential to radicalization than anything. The users are who may misuse it, not mods.

 

[Dot]

I don't have anything against a thread about specific issues, but I'm concerned the forum would be more divided and radicalized. Restricting threads from other opinions invariably leads to radicals of either side, and the forum getting less supportive and relatable.

= wld nt b abt restrctng opinns tho

Womn hve diffrnt in-grp opinns jst as mn hve dffrnt in-grp opinns

& threds wld b modr8td in ordr t/ prevnt radiclisatn

& jst as remindr - mods r only cnsidrng 2 threds whch in contrst t/ whle frum r v smll spces & membrs wll stll b xposd t/ evrythng els

 

[rainwillneverstop]

this will only create segregation. i don't like a lot of the ignorance that occurs in here, but doesn't mean i'd request to separate people to create an 'ideal place' as much as i want to for reasons below. it's a conflicting issue.

it's already a shit world out there. women aren't the only one suffering even though historically they have dealt with a lot. men also have issues within their own gender as they are expected to be a certain way. opinions between genders must be seen and heard to somehow bridge the gap where ignorance stems from. being able to see how men and women think and respond theoretically is a better approach so that we can understand each other better, despite the aggressive approach some may take.

i think problems will arise even if the threads are renamed as 'men issues' and 'women issues' due to the fact that not all men and women think the same. i imagine on the men's side, easily there will be people spewing their toxic masculinity. i guess in this case, it'll just be mostly funneled in a single thread if they do decide to respond.
there's an image, an expectation, that you can see just by reading 'men issues' and 'women issues.' by having these threads exist in here will only enforce how one gender is supposed to think when that's already happening all over the damn world.

i understand that it doesn't stop the already existing social issues men and women all face out there. yet this forum is primarily meant as a safe space for suicidal people. taking a neutral approach regarding gender issues should be the route taken, not this.

I just want to start off with saying that I'm a man, before anyone uses gender bias against me.

"women aren't the only one suffering."
I don't think dot nor anyone has said this.
But the reality is that women still today, not just historically, experience specific problems to their gender still in 2024.
Let this be rape, sexual harassment or pay gaps. (No I'm not saying this doesn't happen to men, but it's certainly a more generalized problem for women.)
I can understand why a woman would prefer to talk about these sort of struggles, with someone who can relate to it at the same level.

It really isn't about controlling how each gender is supposed to think, but to have a way that members can relate to each other and support.