Venting feelings are not beautiful

[cactusflower]

Processing current grief that's washed over me again. I have a great disdain for some, while their intentions are good I guess, it just comes off as unempathetic.

I was watching a YT video on complicated grief to try and work through my emotions and one of the things the lady in the video said that struck a chord was something along the lines of

"Feelings are good, and feelings are beautiful"

Mainly in reference to how our ability to feel gives us humanity, and that we should be thankful for this ability.

I'm torn on how to feel about this. On one hand, I understand and can get where this is coming from. Living through emotions in spite of everything, realizing that I am human and this is what humans do, and if I have the ability to feel, then I should. To me, who only has a surface level understanding of Camus' philosophy on life, it was kind of reminiscent of that.

On the other hand, it just complicates the negative feelings even more. Even though I have these feelings doesn't mean I want to feel them or literally be held back by this forever pining for the person I've lost. It just seems so cruel to expect people to just find feelings like this positive, because they somehow augment the positive times in life or something like that.

It just makes me think that really, really, no one will ever understand. And in my case, I don't have the same resources the lady in the video did. I don't have a support group, I don't have anyone in my real life around to help me through any of this, I've had to deal with all of this on my own the whole way, and it just seems like everyone who says these things is just can't see why I feel this way.

It's why I turn to suicide, or the idea of it, be cause if I had the resources, (I've tried to obtain, going to therapy, reaching out to people, going out, going to events??) then surely things would be different. But I do not, and I'm getting tired of trying, or being misunderstood when I express this thinking.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't see feelings as something beautiful at all. I see feelings as something that is a burden and is exhausting to deal with. There's nothing beautiful about being able to feel

 

[Kalista]

"Feelings are good, and feelings are beautiful"

this is toxic positivity. the constant need to turn something potentially negative into something positive is a problem within the 'mental health community' -- it oversimplifies the complexity of feelings or emotions, and creates a disconnect between the reality of one's emotional pain.

videos like that can be dangerous as it typically places everything under a single umbrella. it's a generalized opinion for the sake of capturing as many audience as possible to watch their content. always take it with a grain of salt.

 

[sevennn]

this world is tainted by many things. maybe feelings could've been beautiful. without all those other variants that exist in life. at least for me. technically we could've been born on a heavenly planet. but we weren't. pain and sadness and all those things could've just not existed at all. and you wouldn't even know they can. that would be beautiful. not the way it is. sad

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

I hate my ability to feel, it's everything wrong with existence, if we could all be numb and incapable of feeling any kind of emotion, we would all be better of. Sensations either physical or mental are what allow us to suffer un-necessarily, that is what makes life so unbearably painful, is the ability to feel said pain in the first place.

Though the biggest problem is that, if we could eliminate human sensation, then what would be the point to existence, being a zombie, just wandering through life, at that point I'd rather just not exist. Though I would also rather not exist than be able to have any sort of couscous awareness. Suck either way, just like pretty much everything to do with this whole experiment of existence. A complete waste of time that brings nothing but harm to it's participants (All Of US).

 

[steppenwolf]

Morris Albert & Louis Gasté - Feelings (1974)

 

[mythofsisyphus]

It's funny, the reason I'm here is because I've lost all my feelings (total anhedonia and emotional blunting from meds). I'd do anything to get them back - I'd love to be able to cry.

Just shows how each of our stories is so unique - one's curse is another's blessing.