Discussion Feeling upset right now

[Nirrend]

Hi everyone,

that's ridiculous because, i'm feeling sad and I don't know why. I think this is just because everyday, I wish to be dead.

Time is really long and I don't know how to occupy myself, I want to wait a little more before ctb but this is becoming very hard to handle.

I think I will drink this night, this is so miserable.

Do you drink alone too ? Do you feel like time is stopped or do not want to go faster too ?

Wishing you a good night <3

 

[Zegers]

Most of days i feel like a broken car in the middle of nowhere

 

[chloramine]

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. Those days are rough- especially when they stretch into weeks or months or longer. You don't need to be able to point to a specific reason in order to be sad, it's not ridiculous that you are. It sucks and I wish it wasn't the case, but you're not unreasonable for feeling any way.

I've drunk alone in my room before, though not often. There's a long history of addiction problems on all sides of my family, so I've always been too wary of that to have alcohol more than once every couple of months.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Do you drink alone too ?

Oh yes.

 

[helba]

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard night. I hope you get some respite soon, even a little bit, with some music and drinks. Although I know it's hard to figure out how to occupy your time at the moment. That can be maddening when time seems to drag.

Time is long for me most days. Now that I know that I am closer to my date, the things I use to distract myself seem futile, sometimes irritating. Have you ever waited for a very long time, either for a bus or a plane in the waiting terminal? Two hours prior to its arrival, you easily accept the distraction of your book, or a game on your phone, and you can zone out a little. But once you know the plane has 15 minutes before boarding, you try but cannot fully invest in your distractions. Half of your mind is even more preoccupied than ever before with the plane that is soon to start boarding. Everyone gets up and stands in line, still looking at the game on their phone, but the heavy backpack they just shouldered now distracts them too. This is when time drags, for me at least and my half-baked hypothesis. I am in the "standing in line" phase.

Written from my desk where I work alone, currently drinking, but I don't know how else to get through the day. Again, I hope you have a peaceful night and I hope you take care. Know you have a drinking buddy tonight somewhere out there. I will have a full drink to cheers to you once I am done with work. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it really depressing how time passes so slowly. Everyday is only suffering for me, I am tired of the endless days of misery and I know that it's hard to carry on when all that you want is to leave. The thought of dying does bring me comfort as if I am gone, then I won't have to endure any of this, instead of such an empty existence, there would be nothing. I hope that you find relief from what you are going through as none of us should ever have to suffer. It really is such a cruel existence. Best wishes.

 

[Nirrend]

You're so lovely @helba,

Thank you everyone for your loving messages <3

FInally, I drank yesterday night, it did nothing at all, just an illusion afterall..