Feeling super trapped

[SpaxeZ]

I'm 25. Going through some health issue. I can't take it off my mind that whatever I do I must kill myself in the end to end my miserable life and better to do it soon as I'm suffering every day. Feeling so horrible. Never imagined ending up like this at this young age and worst of all suicide is more complex than what I used to think. I failed partial hanging once 4 years ago. My vision turned black but I chickened out and took off the noose yet I suffered from hellish tinnitus for a whole year after that. Was hearing my heartbeat all the time. Feeling super trapped rn. No method seem to be accessible or without risk and the last thing anyone would want is to end up with worse injuries and suffer even more. My all time favorite was drowning but it's hard to get into the middle of a body of water. Jumping from a bridge can draw attention. SN is hard to order and I can't order it to my own address plus there was this person who posted yesterday that they went paralyzed after failing SN. That was the first time hearing about such symptom with SN. I envy those who have SN. It sounds like the easiest way out. Given that I could make 3 glasses for backup. I regret so much of the things I did wrong in my life that lead me here but no amount of resentment can change the past or my current condition. I just need out. I know I'm not gonna continue living this life. I'm 100% sure that I want out. My latest plan is to find somewhere isolated in the woods and go with plastic bag method while handcuffing myself hugging a tree. I read it somewhere in here. It must be horrific but I got no other choice. Hope I don't make too much noise while suffocating. I may do it at night and would try to find the most isolated place.

 

[theboy]

I hope you feel better soon
Peace

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Have you considered carbon monoxide?

 

[SpaxeZ]

Have you considered carbon monoxide?

I don't have access to that and I have read many failed cases of that with permanent injuries

 

[Life'sA6itch]

"the last thing anyone would want is to end up with worse injuries and suffer even more"
This is my biggest fear. I hope you find the relief and peace we all desperately seek

 

[hi-okbye]

i'm sorry for what your going through and i hope you can find peace soon at least.
have you considered full suspension? once you step off, as long as it's planned correctly, your bound to be successful.

 

[SpaxeZ]

i'm sorry for what your going through and i hope you can find peace soon at least.
have you considered full suspension? once you step off, as long as it's planned correctly, your bound to be successful.

Yeah I have but don't have the place or privacy for it

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand feeling so trapped here, it's so cruel and horrible how we exist in this society where suicide made so inaccessible where we cannot just have the option to die in peace when we wish to. I really hate this hellish world where suicide isn't seen as a valid option with humans are expected to suffer no matter what, we really shouldn't have to struggle to die on our own terms. But anyway I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering.