G
Georgii
Arcanist
- Sep 25, 2019
- 433
Lately I've fallen into the hands of routine more than usual ,day after day ,it's always the same.
Even if the thought is always there , it lingers in the back of my mind .
I feel like I'm delaying my own ending.
When I break down I feel so close to it ready and eager to just do it .The rush makes me feel ready ,but before I get anything done it's gone..everything is quiet .
I can't even use my phone in peace at home without my partner being suspicious if I'm too attentive to it .
Can't even be in my own thoughts at home .I feel at peace when I quietly plan it , even if it's in my head or another failed attempt while he's gone from home .
Or maybe I'm just making excuses ..keep on post-phoning it again maybe I never actually try hard enough to succeed.
Even if the thought is always there , it lingers in the back of my mind .
I feel like I'm delaying my own ending.
When I break down I feel so close to it ready and eager to just do it .The rush makes me feel ready ,but before I get anything done it's gone..everything is quiet .
I can't even use my phone in peace at home without my partner being suspicious if I'm too attentive to it .
Can't even be in my own thoughts at home .I feel at peace when I quietly plan it , even if it's in my head or another failed attempt while he's gone from home .
Or maybe I'm just making excuses ..keep on post-phoning it again maybe I never actually try hard enough to succeed.