Venting Feeling sad about the idea of killing myself

[UninformedLover]

It's just so fucked that this is the only way to make the pain stop. Can't say I've never tried. I have. Multiple times. I've had therapists, took medication, was employed, unemployed and just relaxed, went to college, talked about my feelings...and its just the same results no matter what.

I can never get what I want and I'm not even asking for much. Fuck.

Why should I have to kill myself in order to feel better like ts is not fair at all.

 

[persepexa]

I feel the exact same. My family has so many suggestions for me to improve my life and 9 times out of 10 it's stuff I've already done. They want me on meds, I was on meds for years. They want me to see someone, was in a mental hospital with psychologists for over a year followed by a year with the community mental health team. They want me to get a job I've been applying ever since I got out of hospital. They want me to look for support groups, I've been in them. At this point I just feel out of options. I agree it's really fucked up when CTB feels like the only option left.

 

[Hystearical]

What do you want?

 

[Off_Switch]

If you've put forth an honest effort to no avail, you can hang your head high (no pun intended, or maybe it was intended) and CTB with pride.

 

[UninformedLover]

What do you want?

I really just want to be happy and live a life that fills fulfilled and has meaning and purpose yk?

But specifically I just want a good job, financial stability and a girlfriend (who'll later become my wife) and to get away from my parents forever. But it's just really hard. Theres just a sea of never ending roadblocks. I cant...

 

[Hystearical]

I really just want to be happy and live a life that fills fulfilled and has meaning and purpose yk?

But specifically I just want a good job, financial stability and a girlfriend (who'll later become my wife) and to get away from my parents forever. But it's just really hard. Theres just a sea of never ending roadblocks. I cant...

Generally it's just one step at a time. Financial stability would help attract a partner so maybe focus on that.

 

[Xiaojiu]

Yeah, this is how I feel. As a matter of fact, I was crying about this just now. If I wasn't in so much physical pain, I wouldn't be on this site trying to off myself. . .

 

[Sadbanana]

I feel the same way. It's not just death of me, but all of my hopes ans dreams. I already know that there is nothing I can do to fix my life, but there is something inside me that still wants to cry when I think of dying.

 

[UninformedLover]

Generally it's just one step at a time. Financial stability would help attract a partner so maybe focus on that.

Yea thanks for the advice but my situation is just very complex which makes that sorta impossible atm.