toskita
Rat with internet access
- Oct 1, 2023
- 39
I could say that I'm at the best time of my life, I've got a healthy relationship, good friends by my side, getting psychiatric help, and have gotten toxic people out of my life (the most dangerous ones, there's some that I'm not able to cut). But now, I have this weird feeling that I'm not going to make it this year specifically. It's the first time that I've ever felt like this, like this is the end of my story.
Even if it's weird to say so in a site like this where there's truly miserable people out there, I've been through a lot, enough for it to feel like I've lived everything, and now I'm just experiencing the good things I couldn't before... I just feel nostalgic, over all the progress and shit I've just had just to shut up and take.
I imagine my death as unexpected, like the dramatic plot twist of some author romance story, where the protagonist dies after they find themselves, a tragic accident, like a car crash or something like that, instant and depressing.
I really don't know what to do, I cope with self harm, but it just feels hypocrite to do it when there's nothing happening, I just really need help, I don't want to just die without getting to say my goodbyes, or die right after I feel truly happy.
Even if it's weird to say so in a site like this where there's truly miserable people out there, I've been through a lot, enough for it to feel like I've lived everything, and now I'm just experiencing the good things I couldn't before... I just feel nostalgic, over all the progress and shit I've just had just to shut up and take.
I imagine my death as unexpected, like the dramatic plot twist of some author romance story, where the protagonist dies after they find themselves, a tragic accident, like a car crash or something like that, instant and depressing.
I really don't know what to do, I cope with self harm, but it just feels hypocrite to do it when there's nothing happening, I just really need help, I don't want to just die without getting to say my goodbyes, or die right after I feel truly happy.
